I enjoy adding photos to my blog posts. So, as I sat down to write this post, I literally laughed out loud when I found this picture of my cat Bella. She is truly my Furry Guru when it comes to relaxation! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), relaxation never came easy to me. In fact, I had to actually LEARN HOW TO RELAX! To someone without this issue, that may seem downright ridiculous, but if you're anything like me, you know it to be true. (Just as an aside, the trait of High Sensitivity is found in at least 100 animal species and Bella is definitely my little HSP.)
In order for an HSP to truly relax in a restorative manner, we absolutely need downtime. As Julie Bjelland, Sensitivity Expert/Psychotherapist has stated, having alone time is a "medical necessity." Why? Because as HSPs, we simply take in way more stimuli than the 80-85% of the population that does not have this trait. Plus, once we take it in, we have an inborn preference to process everything much more deeply. Add to that our propensity to be more emotionally responsive and empathetic and you can see why we have a tendency to get overstimulated, overloaded, and if that continues we can get quite overwhelmed. BUT, this tendency can be mitigated through healthy self-care and increased awareness so that whenever possible, we can prevent this downward spiral from happening.
YES, WE CAN! That's where downtime is so important to our well-being. Again, this is true for everyone, but especially for HSPs. However, as heart-centered people who care deeply about others, take responsibilities seriously, want to do a good job, etc. we can run ourselves ragged if we don't ensure that we make the time for downtime! Trust me, you will never "find" the time, you have to MAKE THE TIME. Ideally, many experts recommend at least 2 hours each day. This might seem impossible in this busy, chaotic life we all seem to be leading, but here's the thing: Downtime may not be what you think it is. Read on my friends and you will find the golden key to unlock the door to more inner peace.
The definition of the downtime we most need as HSPs is "time spent not taking in any new data that needs to be processed." It is SO IMPORTANT that you get this point! I can't stress this fact enough. This is so different than what the majority of us have always thought of as downtime which essentially can cause us to chase peace rather than basking in the glow of it.
Let me explain further. Before I understood this way of looking at downtime, I was unable to feel relaxed, refreshed, and rejuvenated even if I wasn't "working." In fact, sometimes I actually ended up feeling worse after a "day off." How can that be? I inadvertently filled my days with way too much of what I can enjoy in moderation and it kept me too preoccupied with such things as reading nonfiction, scrolling social media, talking on the phone to friends and loved ones, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and what I consider to be the biggest factor in the mix - THINKING WAY TOO MUCH. Yep, thinking, pondering, wondering, planning, etc. My days off were often exhausting, even if I was alone!
As a result, I continued to live in a state of chronic stress and busyness even if it appeared I wasn't doing much at all. You see, we can be overstimulated by both internal and external factors and the combination has a cumulative effect on body, mind, and spirit. That's what I am referring to as the need for downtime to prevent down time. If you continue to ignore your needs, they don't go away. The messages get louder and louder and often are accompanied by physical symptoms ranging from headaches and muscle tension to more serious health conditions. UGH! So now what???
Embrace what downtime is and what it isn't and commit to incorporate it into your day every day! Here's the beauty of it too. There are many things that you may enjoy that don't necessarily add to the sensory processing load that you are already carrying. Downtime does not mean you need to escape to some mountain retreat to finally relax. It doesn't mean you need to spend 2 hours in silent meditation until your mind achieves "tabula rasa" AKA a blank slate. No, you just need to spend time doing things that do not add more sensory information for you to have to process.
Here are some of the things that I now do during my downtime:
Lay quietly with my cat on the couch
Listen to soothing instrumental music
Walk alone in nature
Spend time alone near water
Sit in the sun or shade (depending on the weather)
Observe the wonders of nature - birds, squirrels, butterflies, sunrises, sunsets
Tap into my connection with my Higher Power
Do gentle yoga
Close my eyes
Take a bath or a shower
Focus on the feeling of my breath coming in and out of my body
(Sometimes even routine tasks such as cleaning, cooking, or baking can get me out of my head)
Everyone is different. Find what is most soothing to you. Just remember, the most important thing of all is that you DO IT! Make the commitment today to Nurture U! Everything you do to enhance your well-being positively affects not only you, but all those around you as well. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to be the happiest, healthiest version of yourself that you can be.
Please let me know if there's anything I can do to support you in this beautiful endeavor.
