True confessions...
I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Yesterday seemed especially difficult to navigate, yet I wasn't quite sure why. I just knew that I was feeling more tired than usual and definitely less motivated, yet not because of a lack of sleep or not practicing healthy self-care. This was different. This was more of a soul tired. Perhaps you can relate?
I think that this funk has been coming and going and in a sense even building over the last four months. It has been mostly subtle and at times even stealthy, and that's a big part of why it often goes unnoticed. Well, that and the fact that I truly have so many blessings to be eternally grateful for: my family, my friends, my business, my home, my health, my resources, and the list goes on. So, when I would feel myself sliding down the slippery slope of distress, I would immediately switch to gratitude for all the wonderful people and circumstances of my life. Sounds like a great strategy to refocus attention, doesn't it?
But hold on a minute. Was I practicing authentic heartfelt gratitude OR was I trying to ignore the not-so-great things that were happening? Hmmmmmm...I'll let you decide.
Some things I acknowledged. For example, last week, I sent out not one, but four sympathy cards! Add to that the fact that my sweet sister-in-law is nearing the end of her struggle with brain cancer. It's only a matter of waiting now. There's nothing more to do. That's enough to explain the funk, but even that wasn't all of it. I woke up this morning in that funk again, but this time it was more at the surface just waiting for release. So, release it I did.
I got up before my husband and he joined me for our morning coffee. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. He asked what was going on and I knew I had to let it out. It started out as talking about my frustration with things not getting done around the house. From there it progressed to feeling frustrated with other issues until I hit on the "big ones" - the pandemic, the political climate, the racial tensions, the violence - all the really major things that are happening around us that we truly have no control over. And that's when the tears started to flow. It wasn't just frustration over it all, it was truly a deep grief - grief as a feeling of loss for the way life was just four months ago. I am not saying things were perfect or that changes are not needed, I'm just saying that for better and for worse, things will seemingly never be the same. I don't know what the future holds. No one does. No one EVER knows, but somehow when things are going smoothly, there's that part of us that believes we are somehow the exception and that we are somehow in control. But, we're not.
So, now what?
Well, after getting down to feeling, expressing, and through tears - releasing the core emotion of grief, I am ready to move on from here. The problems are still there, but instead of feeling the intense weight of them bearing down on my mind, body, and spirit, I have created a new, healthier relationship with those problems. I am reminded and possess a more embodied knowing that life is in fact a largely unpredictable mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly, but now that's ok again. And I know I'm ok. And I know that all that muck can co-exist with gratitude rather than be opposed to it. And today is another day and another chance to make a difference in the world. It may just be in my small corner of reality, but that's ok too. That's life.
I CAN CONTROL my words and my actions. I can make choices that add to the Peace, Love, and Joy in this world. Yes, I can do this, but NOT if my energy is all tied up at any level of denial or getting stuck in any version of the oh so familiar refrain of "This shouldn't be happening" because the truth of the matter is that it is.
I will close by sharing an analogy that came to me years ago about having a meltdown. Candle wax has to be in it's liquefied form in order to be shaped and molded into a beautiful candle that has the capability of bringing a soft light into the darkness. So, next time you have a meltdown, as I did just this morning, don't think of it as a negative thing. Re-frame it as an opportunity to mold yourself anew so that you too can bring yourself, your talents, energy, and resources more fully into this world and to shine even more brightly than you did before.
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt. it really is better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness. Amen to that!
Showing posts with label coronavirus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coronavirus. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2020
Friday, April 17, 2020
Love or Fear?
It has been a long time since I sat down to write a post. Actually, I was rather shocked to see it has been 6 years! Time flies, huh? It's good to be back.
We are certainly living in the strangest time I have ever been through in all my years on this planet. The world is experiencing an unprecedented "Global Pause" as it has been called. And hey, that sure sounds better than Lockdown. So much is happening around us it's hard to even process. Some of what is happening is horrific, like all the lives lost due to the pandemic as well as all the collateral damage due to businesses being shut down, people laid off, economic challenges, and the shortages of food and supplies. I think when this is over we will all appreciate the availability of toilet paper in a whole new light!
At the same time, there are some silver linings in all of this. For example, there has been a significant change in the level of pollution. There are people who are slowing down enough to reconnect with the family they live with and through technology with those near and far. I've seen people out walking more. I've heard of family game nights and dance parties. People are engaging with life from a simpler, less materialistic perspective.
In other words, life is handing us a mixed bag as it always does, but in this time of a pandemic, the bag contains elements that are far less common since they are generally found only at the extremes.
That said, FEAR is everywhere. In fact, when I do leave the house for necessities or for my walks in nature, it is palpable. As I get in my car and start backing out of the driveway, it's as if my mind goes into a hyper-vigilant state just waiting for whatever may lurk around every corner. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
And then, I remember to breathe. Breathe. Pause. Recenter. Calm down. Relax. All that stress and worry won't accomplish a thing. In fact, it will simply serve to put my body into fight or flight survival mode. My energy will contract. My mood will darken. But the worst thing that can happen, and in fact will if I continue to be sucked into the mire of fear, is that I will hamper my immune system just when perhaps I need it the most. That's right, as Dr. Bruce Lipton has explained in his amazing book The Biology of Belief, we can be in one of two states, either growth and repair OR in survival mode. We can't be in both at the same time.
Now lest you think over the past 6 years I have taken on a Debbie Downer persona, I have not. I'm just sharing what I think we all go through whether we admit it or not. When we feel threatened, whether by the current challenges related to the coronavirus, or whether we react to some other trigger, it doesn't matter. Fear is fear and it creates the same body chemistry even if the so called threat is simply in our imagination. Fear needs to be acknowledged rather than denied. Sometimes fear contains a message of something we really do need to pay attention to that is actually actionable.
For example, if you have been ignoring healthy self-care, eating lots of sugar and fat, not getting enough sleep, etc. and you fear you may be placing yourself more at risk well...perhaps you are. But don't just stay locked in fear. Change the things you can.
If however, your fear is about something in the past that can't be changed or in the future that can't be controlled, once acknowledged, the fear must be let go. I know. I can literally hear you saying, "Easier said than done" and just to be clear I agree. That's why we need a new way to look at fear.
Anyone who has read my writings knows that I love a good acronym. The acronym I have heard in the past for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Definitely a good one, but somehow I needed something else. And that's when it came to me in a moment of silent prayer.
FEAR: Face Everything And Rise!
(Not coincidentally I'm sure, this came to me during the season of Lent, just prior to Easter.)
Face Everything And Rise! <- Brilliant if I say so myself.
Why? Because it is such a beautiful statement about our capabilities.
Life is good, but is is NOT always easy. In fact, due to illness, pain, loss, aging, and death, there is a lot to contend with BUT with trust in the power of Love, we are up to the task. The greatest suffering comes when we succumb to the thought that "this shouldn't be happening" or the other devastating thought, "I can't handle it." Now, THAT is when fear triggers suffering and gets the upper hand.
There is no greater power in all the universe than LOVE. In fact, that which appears to be other than Love is merely a denial of love. Love Always Wins - another acronym - because that's the LAW. We might not readily see it, but it is true. I was listening to a talk this morning by my friend James Twyman and he said quite simply, "Truth is truth. Love is love." <- Love that. It's a fact. Thanks James for being one who embodies that message. You are an inspiration to us all.
The other apparent lack of Love manifests when we have a lack of trust in Love. This can often occur because we fail to see ourselves as channels of Love rather than as the Source of Love. If you try to be the source of Love, you will find yourself exhausted. But the Good News is that Love is unlimited and always available for us to tap into if we have the willingness to call on grace and allow ourselves to be instruments of that beautiful divine energy. Yes, we need to say Yes and that takes some quiet and a pause.
Oh, guess what? Now might just be the perfect time for transformation. So much of what we have been too busy or distracted with may have kept us in the not so comfortable comfort zone and now we have been thrust into what seems most days to be a weird alternate reality that for now we need to call home. So, what now?
Face Everything And Rise! Rise to the occasion. Rise to a higher level of consciousness with which to deal with people, circumstances and events. Rise to the choice of Love over fear in everything you do. This is what will ultimately serve to either strengthen or weaken you. It is NOT what you do, it is the energy with which you do it!
A timely example is people wearing masks in public. Some people wearing masks look absolutely terrified and it is clear they are wearing them strictly out of fear. Other people look your way, and even if you can't see their mouths, you can tell they are smiling. You can see it in their eyes. They are wearing a mask out of Love - Love for others as well as themselves. It's the same with social distancing. It is what we have been asked to do. You can see the people who do so in fear, but yet we can leave the same 6 feet between us out of Love. It truly changes everything.
Choose this day which energy you will serve for it will be your Master.
Will it be Love or will it be fear? You get to choose.
You can choose to live in fear or Face Everything And Rise!
Choose Love and rise you will!
But don't take my word for it. You have to put this into action. It's not a one time choice either. We have to keep choosing Love moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. By repeatedly choosing Love, we can make it a more natural, conscious choice that becomes more habitual. No, we will never get it "right" all the time and we may even screw things up. But that's ok. We just need to choose again. I think that's why my favorite line of the Bible is "Behold I make all things new.' What a beautiful, merciful world we live in if we can call on Love to hold and guide us.
So, with that I will leave you with yet another acronym - this time for LOVE:
LOVE is a Life Of Vibrant Energy.
Ah yes...take me to that river.
Be well. Be blessed.
With Love,
Mary Ellen
We are certainly living in the strangest time I have ever been through in all my years on this planet. The world is experiencing an unprecedented "Global Pause" as it has been called. And hey, that sure sounds better than Lockdown. So much is happening around us it's hard to even process. Some of what is happening is horrific, like all the lives lost due to the pandemic as well as all the collateral damage due to businesses being shut down, people laid off, economic challenges, and the shortages of food and supplies. I think when this is over we will all appreciate the availability of toilet paper in a whole new light!
At the same time, there are some silver linings in all of this. For example, there has been a significant change in the level of pollution. There are people who are slowing down enough to reconnect with the family they live with and through technology with those near and far. I've seen people out walking more. I've heard of family game nights and dance parties. People are engaging with life from a simpler, less materialistic perspective.
In other words, life is handing us a mixed bag as it always does, but in this time of a pandemic, the bag contains elements that are far less common since they are generally found only at the extremes.
That said, FEAR is everywhere. In fact, when I do leave the house for necessities or for my walks in nature, it is palpable. As I get in my car and start backing out of the driveway, it's as if my mind goes into a hyper-vigilant state just waiting for whatever may lurk around every corner. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
And then, I remember to breathe. Breathe. Pause. Recenter. Calm down. Relax. All that stress and worry won't accomplish a thing. In fact, it will simply serve to put my body into fight or flight survival mode. My energy will contract. My mood will darken. But the worst thing that can happen, and in fact will if I continue to be sucked into the mire of fear, is that I will hamper my immune system just when perhaps I need it the most. That's right, as Dr. Bruce Lipton has explained in his amazing book The Biology of Belief, we can be in one of two states, either growth and repair OR in survival mode. We can't be in both at the same time.
Now lest you think over the past 6 years I have taken on a Debbie Downer persona, I have not. I'm just sharing what I think we all go through whether we admit it or not. When we feel threatened, whether by the current challenges related to the coronavirus, or whether we react to some other trigger, it doesn't matter. Fear is fear and it creates the same body chemistry even if the so called threat is simply in our imagination. Fear needs to be acknowledged rather than denied. Sometimes fear contains a message of something we really do need to pay attention to that is actually actionable.
For example, if you have been ignoring healthy self-care, eating lots of sugar and fat, not getting enough sleep, etc. and you fear you may be placing yourself more at risk well...perhaps you are. But don't just stay locked in fear. Change the things you can.
If however, your fear is about something in the past that can't be changed or in the future that can't be controlled, once acknowledged, the fear must be let go. I know. I can literally hear you saying, "Easier said than done" and just to be clear I agree. That's why we need a new way to look at fear.
Anyone who has read my writings knows that I love a good acronym. The acronym I have heard in the past for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Definitely a good one, but somehow I needed something else. And that's when it came to me in a moment of silent prayer.
FEAR: Face Everything And Rise!
(Not coincidentally I'm sure, this came to me during the season of Lent, just prior to Easter.)
Face Everything And Rise! <- Brilliant if I say so myself.
Why? Because it is such a beautiful statement about our capabilities.
Life is good, but is is NOT always easy. In fact, due to illness, pain, loss, aging, and death, there is a lot to contend with BUT with trust in the power of Love, we are up to the task. The greatest suffering comes when we succumb to the thought that "this shouldn't be happening" or the other devastating thought, "I can't handle it." Now, THAT is when fear triggers suffering and gets the upper hand.
There is no greater power in all the universe than LOVE. In fact, that which appears to be other than Love is merely a denial of love. Love Always Wins - another acronym - because that's the LAW. We might not readily see it, but it is true. I was listening to a talk this morning by my friend James Twyman and he said quite simply, "Truth is truth. Love is love." <- Love that. It's a fact. Thanks James for being one who embodies that message. You are an inspiration to us all.
The other apparent lack of Love manifests when we have a lack of trust in Love. This can often occur because we fail to see ourselves as channels of Love rather than as the Source of Love. If you try to be the source of Love, you will find yourself exhausted. But the Good News is that Love is unlimited and always available for us to tap into if we have the willingness to call on grace and allow ourselves to be instruments of that beautiful divine energy. Yes, we need to say Yes and that takes some quiet and a pause.
Oh, guess what? Now might just be the perfect time for transformation. So much of what we have been too busy or distracted with may have kept us in the not so comfortable comfort zone and now we have been thrust into what seems most days to be a weird alternate reality that for now we need to call home. So, what now?
Face Everything And Rise! Rise to the occasion. Rise to a higher level of consciousness with which to deal with people, circumstances and events. Rise to the choice of Love over fear in everything you do. This is what will ultimately serve to either strengthen or weaken you. It is NOT what you do, it is the energy with which you do it!
A timely example is people wearing masks in public. Some people wearing masks look absolutely terrified and it is clear they are wearing them strictly out of fear. Other people look your way, and even if you can't see their mouths, you can tell they are smiling. You can see it in their eyes. They are wearing a mask out of Love - Love for others as well as themselves. It's the same with social distancing. It is what we have been asked to do. You can see the people who do so in fear, but yet we can leave the same 6 feet between us out of Love. It truly changes everything.
Choose this day which energy you will serve for it will be your Master.
Will it be Love or will it be fear? You get to choose.
You can choose to live in fear or Face Everything And Rise!
Choose Love and rise you will!
But don't take my word for it. You have to put this into action. It's not a one time choice either. We have to keep choosing Love moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. By repeatedly choosing Love, we can make it a more natural, conscious choice that becomes more habitual. No, we will never get it "right" all the time and we may even screw things up. But that's ok. We just need to choose again. I think that's why my favorite line of the Bible is "Behold I make all things new.' What a beautiful, merciful world we live in if we can call on Love to hold and guide us.
So, with that I will leave you with yet another acronym - this time for LOVE:
LOVE is a Life Of Vibrant Energy.
Ah yes...take me to that river.
Be well. Be blessed.
With Love,
Mary Ellen
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