The Struggle is Real!

True confessions...
I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Yesterday seemed especially difficult to navigate, yet I wasn't quite sure why. I just knew that I was feeling more tired than usual and definitely less motivated, yet not because of a lack of sleep or not practicing healthy self-care. This was different. This was more of a soul tired. Perhaps you can relate?

I think that this funk has been coming and going and in a sense even building over the last four months. It has been mostly subtle and at times even stealthy, and that's a big part of why it often goes unnoticed. Well, that and the fact that I truly have so many blessings to be eternally grateful for: my family, my friends, my business, my home, my health, my resources, and the list goes on. So, when I would feel myself sliding down the slippery slope of distress, I would immediately switch to gratitude for all the wonderful people and circumstances of my life. Sounds like a great strategy to refocus attention, doesn't it?

But hold on a minute. Was I practicing authentic heartfelt gratitude OR was I trying to ignore the not-so-great things that were happening?  Hmmmmmm...I'll let you decide.

Some things I acknowledged. For example, last week, I sent out not one, but four sympathy cards! Add to that the fact that my sweet sister-in-law is nearing the end of her struggle with brain cancer. It's only a matter of waiting now. There's nothing more to do. That's enough to explain the funk, but even that wasn't all of it. I woke up this morning in that funk again, but this time it was more at the surface just waiting for release. So, release it I did.

I got up before my husband and he joined me for our morning coffee. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. He asked what was going on and I knew I had to let it out. It started out as talking about my frustration with things not getting done around the house. From there it progressed to feeling frustrated with other issues until I hit on the "big ones" - the pandemic, the political climate, the racial tensions, the violence - all the really major things that are happening around us that we truly have no control over. And that's when the tears started to flow. It wasn't just frustration over it all, it was truly a deep grief - grief as a feeling of loss for the way life was just four months ago. I am not saying things were perfect or that changes are not needed, I'm just saying that for better and for worse, things will seemingly never be the same. I don't know what the future holds. No one does. No one EVER knows, but somehow when things are going smoothly, there's that part of us that believes we are somehow the exception and that we are somehow in control. But, we're not.

So, now what?
Well, after getting down to feeling, expressing, and through tears - releasing the core emotion of grief, I am ready to move on from here. The problems are still there, but instead of feeling the intense weight of them bearing down on my mind, body, and spirit, I have created a new,  healthier relationship with those problems. I am reminded and possess a more embodied knowing that life is in fact a largely unpredictable mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly, but now that's ok again. And I know I'm ok. And I know that all that muck can co-exist with gratitude rather than be opposed to it. And today is another day and another chance to make a difference in the world. It may just be in my small corner of reality, but that's ok too. That's life.

I CAN CONTROL my words and my actions. I can make choices that add to the Peace, Love, and Joy in this world. Yes, I can do this, but NOT if my energy is all tied up at any level of denial or getting stuck in any version of the oh so familiar refrain of "This shouldn't be happening" because the truth of the matter is that it is.

I will close by sharing an analogy that came to me years ago about having a meltdown. Candle wax has to be in it's liquefied form in order to be shaped and molded into a beautiful candle that has the capability of bringing a soft light into the darkness. So, next time you have a meltdown, as I did just this morning, don't think of it as a negative thing. Re-frame it as an opportunity to mold yourself anew so that you too can bring yourself, your talents, energy, and resources more fully into this world and to shine even more brightly than you did before.

In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt. it really is better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness. Amen to that!

Permission to Subsist - Taking a Much-Needed Break from the Pursuit of Excellence

Strive for excellence. Always do your best. Be all you can be...
Who could argue with this advice? It is the foundation for success from the time we are so very young until the time of death. It is the backbone of personal and professional success and extends from our closest relationships to society in general and the effects are so far-reaching that the energy of the Universe shifts because of the choices we make throughout our incarnation.

Ok, how's that for pressure when you are not feeling well?

Although I am speaking of excellence in a seemingly cavalier manner, it is simply meant to draw our attention to the fact that we are after all human. It seems to me that while religion, psychology, new age philosophy, and the self-help movement, along with any other push for excellence,  have the best of intentions to inspire and motivate us to be our best, there comes a time that we have to face the fact that we are feeling depleted or already have run out of steam. In fact, there are times that we are just plain "done" or knocked down so far that we can't get right back up. Yep, even the best of us get ill.

As if the symptoms that are the particular manifestation of our body's chosen crisis are not enough, we add in a strong dose of guilt that we have failed in our super-human wellness efforts and succumbed to the lot of the masses of people who do not practice healthy self-care. The guilt is then another layer that needs to be exposed and takes energy to heal and move past before the illness passes. Add to the guilt, the feeling that it is not fair to be feeling this way and it certainly shouldn't have happened to me! What a waste of time and energy! (Trust me, I know...)

So, here's the deal...As a human, how about if you accept that there are times that you just need to shut down, take a break, get some rest, blow off some steam, do nothing, read a good book, go for a walk, and yes, you may even need to realize that in spite of your efforts, you are down for the count. Once that happens, it is time to give up, give in, and hopefully renew and refresh your energy as quickly as possible and move on. If you find that you are feeling less than your best, you need to accept that while it is not the experience you may want, it is the experience you are having. Time to shift into rest and recovery mode. Your excellent life will be there waiting for you when you bounce back into full force action.

Rather than wallowing in guilt and self-pity, use your downtime to affirm that you are investing your time and energy to once again connect with your wholeness. Respect whatever intuition comes to you about what your body, mind, and spirit need. It is important to love and deeply care for yourself at all times, but especially be mindful of the tendency not to when stressed or ill. That is the destructive downward cycle that can lead to debilitating disease when you refuse to allow yourself time to just exist or God forbid, to subsist.

Simply put: Drop the Perfection. Practice Self-Love.
As you allow your Spirit to soar in an atmosphere of support, you will be once again shift back into the Power of Creating from Cause and excellence will no longer be the goal, it will be the Effect.

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U