Change Your Luck - Change Your Life!

 Wow! Someone once called Michael Jordan "lucky!" To me, that is truly incomprehensible. However, he chose to address the comment with a classy statement of truth. He simply agreed and said, "Yes, and the more I train, the "luckier" I get!" He is known for crediting the number of shots missed and games lost as the keys to his success. He kept on going. He had the determination and the dedication needed for high performance in his sport. Michael Jordan is a great role model for all of us as we seek to continue to grow, change, and improve our lives whether our goal is high level performance enhancement or to take better care of our bodies. It doesn't matter if your goal is related to your health, your career, your finances, your relationships, or pursuing your passion. When it comes to "luck" - success leaves clues.

Here's what I call the ABC's of what it takes to Change Your Luck and Change Your Life!

A - Affirm Your Intention

I like to use the word intention as opposed to just talking about goals. The reason for that is, for me anyway, the word intention helps me to tap into the energy behind the goal. For example, if someone comes to me for help to lose weight - that is the goal, but the intention is quite different. The intention is related to what the person most wants to experience as a result of making positive changes. The intention behind the goal to lose weight is very personal and varies, but generally includes such things as wanting to feel better in their own skin, to have more energy, to lessen the associated health risks that come with excess weight, to be able to be more active and to enjoy time spent with family, etc. Essentially, the "big picture" intention is that the person just wants to feel better and to feel more in control. An empowering intention is always stated in the present and captures the essence of what is most important. Coaching can definitely help you get clear about your deepest intentions.

B - Build the Habits You Need to Succeed

If you want to achieve anything in life, you will need to take action and take it consistently. One of the best ways to take consistent action is by establishing good routines and habits. Just like smoking is an unhealthy habit, exercise is a healthy habit. A habit is something that you have done over and over again so many times that it becomes familiar and somewhat automatic. A deeply ingrained habit is like a program that is the default setting in a computer. That's great if it's a good habit, but troublesome if it's a bad habit. The good news about habits is: If you can make it; you can break it! Habits can be changed. You can rid yourself of habits that no longer serve you and create new habits that will take you in the direction that you want to go!  It's simple, but not always easy. That's where coaching and hypnotherapy can be especially powerful tools for change.

C - Cultivate Confidence

In order to succeed, you need to have confidence in your ability to achieve your goals. This means, you must possess the confidence that you have what it takes to do what you know you need to do and perhaps most importantly, to keep going when the going gets rough. You have to be resilient and have a sense that what it is you want to achieve is not only achievable, but also is available specifically to YOU! That is really important. The belief that you can't do what needs to be done or can't have what you want will lead you to abandon your goals in the beginning stages as soon as something goes wrong. That's when you have the propensity to look at challenges as evidence that "it wasn't meant to be" or "it wasn't meant for me." As Marisa Peer, a well-known hypnotherapist always says, "You make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make YOU!" Confidence is an indispensable ingredient in the success formula. Even if you don't possess that quality now, confidence can be cultivated!

As the month of March draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the areas of my life that I have changed and need to change. Spring is a great time to renew and refresh your energy and your life. The idea to write about luck came to me for a variety of reasons, including the saying about "the luck of the Irish" and as you may notice from the photo, I am Irish ;) But the main reason I thought of it is that I have needed to implement the steps above so many times in my life. One of the most amazing examples was years ago when I wanted to increase my business. I really needed to shift my mindset and as "luck" would have it, I listened to a fellow hypnotherapist, Wendi Friesen, discussing the topic of luck and leading the group through a hypnosis session to improve our luck. It was pretty amazing. Shortly after the session, I had the idea to call the health and wellness reporter at one of the major news networks in Cleveland to ask if they would be interested in doing a story on hypnosis. Well, they were and they did! In fact, the story was over 6 minutes long! I was also featured on other TV shows, radio, and newspaper. How's that for "Lucky?"

Had I not affirmed my intention, built the habits needed to succeed, and cultivated confidence in who I am and what I do, none of that would have happened. I had a holistic approach that enhanced the energy/vibration that I radiated, shifted my mindset, and inspired the actions needed to meet my goal. If I can do it, so can you.

Yes, YOU CAN and I can help.

Blessings!

Mary Ellen 

 

Back to Basics: Adulting 101

In her groundbreaking book The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron refers to the work of Mary Rothbart of the University of Oregon on human development and temperament. As adults, we are capable of using the power of reason to make choices, consciously direct our attention, and exert our willpower to follow through on our decisions and commitments. As the title so clearly states, this is absolutely nothing new at this point. It is a statement of basic common knowledge about how to successfully navigate adulthood. So what's the problem? We all at some point get hijacked and start to doubt these truths that while proven by research, are really quite self-evident.

Why the doubt?

How many times have you set out to achieve some goal or complete a long overdue project with great enthusiasm only to find yourself ready to throw in the towel when you come up against the first obstacle or two? I'm guessing you can relate. I know I can! At those times, it seems that reason, choice, and willpower have left the station and there you are metaphorically standing on the platform wondering what just happened and perhaps even feeling abandoned. Of course, in this case, you haven't really been abandoned by anyone or anything but honestly, self-abandonment can feel even worse. 

Each time throughout our lives that we encounter difficulties, the way we handle them is largely based on our conditioning and past experiences. The deepest level of our conditioning took place BEFORE we reached the age of reason. We were conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, our family, other people, and the world and life in general. At this young age, we were literally like little sponges soaking up everything we saw, heard, felt, and experienced. Because we did not have the skills to evaluate and filter these experiences, we simply absorbed them as is. In other words, our conditioning reflects the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of those around us, NOT our preferences and choices. And that is the start of the inner conflict. As this sets the stage, our experiences begin to both reflect and reinforce our early conditioning.

When what we are experiencing in life is not reflective of what we SAY we want, it is often due to our programming. Let's be honest, that is not always the case. As we know, we are not in control of other people, circumstances, and events that surround and befall us. So, let's not get caught up in magical thinking or quibbling over every cosmic quandary, but rather let's focus on what we CAN DO which is to deal with those persistent inherited beliefs about what we can and cannot do, the shoulds, oughts, and musts, and all the rest that keep us feeling stuck. We can loosen the grip of the past and begin to feel more freedom in the present by identifying that negative prior programming and choosing anew that which will truly reflect who we are and what we want to do with this one wild and precious life as Mary Oliver poetically refers to it.

That's why I have always been a "different kind of coach with a decidedly different approach!" After first getting my coaching credentials, I realized that I needed another way to help my clients get unstuck from ingrained habits and beliefs in order to be happy, healthy, and live a life that matters. That's why I went on to be trained in hypnotherapy and to study meditation through my yoga teacher training. That provided me with the ability to expertly guide my clients through relaxation and meditation to tap into the power of the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change to access inner wisdom, heal and release the past, and commit to inspired action in the present. It is truly an amazingly effective process that I feel humbled and privileged to be a part of.

So, in order to get back to the basics of adulting and exercise the power of reason, choice, and will, we need to do some work to clear out the old in order to welcome the new. Growth and healing our energy is indeed possible. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to support you on your continued journey of wholeness.

Be well. Be blessed. And do what needs to be done.