Change Your Luck - Change Your Life!

 Wow! Someone once called Michael Jordan "lucky!" To me, that is truly incomprehensible. However, he chose to address the comment with a classy statement of truth. He simply agreed and said, "Yes, and the more I train, the "luckier" I get!" He is known for crediting the number of shots missed and games lost as the keys to his success. He kept on going. He had the determination and the dedication needed for high performance in his sport. Michael Jordan is a great role model for all of us as we seek to continue to grow, change, and improve our lives whether our goal is high level performance enhancement or to take better care of our bodies. It doesn't matter if your goal is related to your health, your career, your finances, your relationships, or pursuing your passion. When it comes to "luck" - success leaves clues.

Here's what I call the ABC's of what it takes to Change Your Luck and Change Your Life!

A - Affirm Your Intention

I like to use the word intention as opposed to just talking about goals. The reason for that is, for me anyway, the word intention helps me to tap into the energy behind the goal. For example, if someone comes to me for help to lose weight - that is the goal, but the intention is quite different. The intention is related to what the person most wants to experience as a result of making positive changes. The intention behind the goal to lose weight is very personal and varies, but generally includes such things as wanting to feel better in their own skin, to have more energy, to lessen the associated health risks that come with excess weight, to be able to be more active and to enjoy time spent with family, etc. Essentially, the "big picture" intention is that the person just wants to feel better and to feel more in control. An empowering intention is always stated in the present and captures the essence of what is most important. Coaching can definitely help you get clear about your deepest intentions.

B - Build the Habits You Need to Succeed

If you want to achieve anything in life, you will need to take action and take it consistently. One of the best ways to take consistent action is by establishing good routines and habits. Just like smoking is an unhealthy habit, exercise is a healthy habit. A habit is something that you have done over and over again so many times that it becomes familiar and somewhat automatic. A deeply ingrained habit is like a program that is the default setting in a computer. That's great if it's a good habit, but troublesome if it's a bad habit. The good news about habits is: If you can make it; you can break it! Habits can be changed. You can rid yourself of habits that no longer serve you and create new habits that will take you in the direction that you want to go!  It's simple, but not always easy. That's where coaching and hypnotherapy can be especially powerful tools for change.

C - Cultivate Confidence

In order to succeed, you need to have confidence in your ability to achieve your goals. This means, you must possess the confidence that you have what it takes to do what you know you need to do and perhaps most importantly, to keep going when the going gets rough. You have to be resilient and have a sense that what it is you want to achieve is not only achievable, but also is available specifically to YOU! That is really important. The belief that you can't do what needs to be done or can't have what you want will lead you to abandon your goals in the beginning stages as soon as something goes wrong. That's when you have the propensity to look at challenges as evidence that "it wasn't meant to be" or "it wasn't meant for me." As Marisa Peer, a well-known hypnotherapist always says, "You make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make YOU!" Confidence is an indispensable ingredient in the success formula. Even if you don't possess that quality now, confidence can be cultivated!

As the month of March draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the areas of my life that I have changed and need to change. Spring is a great time to renew and refresh your energy and your life. The idea to write about luck came to me for a variety of reasons, including the saying about "the luck of the Irish" and as you may notice from the photo, I am Irish ;) But the main reason I thought of it is that I have needed to implement the steps above so many times in my life. One of the most amazing examples was years ago when I wanted to increase my business. I really needed to shift my mindset and as "luck" would have it, I listened to a fellow hypnotherapist, Wendi Friesen, discussing the topic of luck and leading the group through a hypnosis session to improve our luck. It was pretty amazing. Shortly after the session, I had the idea to call the health and wellness reporter at one of the major news networks in Cleveland to ask if they would be interested in doing a story on hypnosis. Well, they were and they did! In fact, the story was over 6 minutes long! I was also featured on other TV shows, radio, and newspaper. How's that for "Lucky?"

Had I not affirmed my intention, built the habits needed to succeed, and cultivated confidence in who I am and what I do, none of that would have happened. I had a holistic approach that enhanced the energy/vibration that I radiated, shifted my mindset, and inspired the actions needed to meet my goal. If I can do it, so can you.

Yes, YOU CAN and I can help.

Blessings!

Mary Ellen 

 

Hypnosis IS Mind Control!

 

HYPNOSIS IS MIND CONTROL!

Well, now that I have your attention, let's talk truth over trash! 

As a hypnotherapist, I have always tried my level best to take every opportunity to educate people about the wonderful benefits of hypnosis in the most professional manner and backed by scientific research and information. In my career, along with frequent speaking engagements, I have had the good fortune and pleasure of being featured on TV, radio, and in the newspaper as an expert in the field. Yet, in spite of it all (and I mean it all), there still remains a great deal of misinformation regarding this amazingly effective way to enjoy the process of transformation as changes occur both faster and easier than with using coaching alone. Why would anyone fail to avail themselves of this evidence-based methodology for success???? One word: FEAR! 

So, now I hope to address that block.

It is a universally observable desire that people want to be in control, right? This is self-evident. Well what is clearly NOT self-evident is how to increase your ability to be in control and change the things you can. Of course, none of us can control everything - including other people, circumstances, and the events that happen all around us on a daily basis - BUT that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to control anything! The one thing we CAN CONTROL is how we respond to what happens in our lives. That response includes the thoughts we allow ourselves to focus on, the words we choose to speak, the actions that we take, and the pictures in our heads that we give our attention to. 

Can we control our response to what life brings us? If so, does that affect our ability to bring into our lives more of what we want and less of what we don't? The answer to both questions is a loud and emphatic YES! Then why does it sometimes seems so hard? Because of all that has been programmed and conditioned into our minds.

The mind is made up of the conscious, thinking, critical, analytical mind.  While we all like to believe that we are able to function solely from logic, that just isn't the case. The conscious mind is only running the show for about 5% of our lives! That's where the subconscious mind comes in. The subconscious mind is not an UNconscious mind, It is simply operating automatically below our conscious awareness and quite frankly, that's a good thing! The subconscious mind takes care of our on-going bodily functions like our breathing and the beating of our hearts and the digestion of our food. Could you imagine if we had to allocate our attention to direct all that? So, the subconscious mind is functioning 95% of the time and always on our behalf. However, since the job of our mind is primarily to keep us safe and alive, that's where it can get a little dicey. If simply allowed to remain unexamined or unchallenged, the negative experiences of the past can be a destructive force in the present causing people pain, fear, and undue frustration as they seek to live a life of happiness, health, and success.

That's because the subconscious mind is a running record of all that we have heard, seen, and experienced and unfortunately, that is always a mixed bag of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Naturally we want to avoid pain and move toward pleasure, but what the subconscious mind has been conditioned to believe to be the means to do that is often faulty at best. A further complication is that the subconscious mind learns both explicitly and implicitly, so we absorb a lot more than what was perhaps passed on to us intentionally. Much of what we have learned about how to survive in this world was downloaded into us (before the age of 7) simply by observing the people around us. In addition, the more frequent or intense our exposure to something, the more of an impact it has on us. 

For better or worse, all this shapes our reality. But, the good news is: that's not the end of the story. The story of our past need not define the potentiality of our future. And that's where hypnotherapy and hypnosis come in. They are powerful tools that we all can use no matter how, when, or why a problem or habit started and that's a beautiful process to behold. It never gets old and never ceases to amaze me. How blessed I am to facilitate this process for others! 

By allowing the body and mind to relax, a person becomes more open and receptive to all the suggestions that help to create the desired changes. Hypnotherapy also helps people to tap into the power of their own inner wisdom to gain the necessary insight they need to heal and move forward. Through hypnotherapy, people are able to connect with their own sense of power, not over anyone else, but rather over their own lives. This is reinforced during sessions as people begin to see themselves in a better, brighter future.

So, the shocking headline that Hypnosis IS Mind Control is not so shocking after all, is it? 

Rather than living by default, by choosing hypnotherapy and hypnosis, it is you that can regain control over your own mind and therefore, your own life. You can heal the past, enjoy the present, and co-create your future!

Yes, you can and I can help. 

The combination of holistic wellness life coaching is a fabulous option for not just change, but transforming your life. 

There - now you know the truth! Let me know if you have any questions or would like further information. Have a Blessed Day!

https://nurtureulifecoaching.com/

 

Get Out of Your HEAD and into Your HEART

I love walking in the woods. I will freely admit however, that this time of year it is much more challenging for me due to the cold. But, if the sun is out, it makes all the difference in the world! My solitary walks help me to get out of my head and into my heart. Just to be clear, I'm not saying that being in our head is always a bad thing. It's only when we get caught in a downward spiral of negative looping and feedback that we need to recalibrate.

I'm a big fan of acronyms as anyone who has followed my work over the years probably already knows. So as I was preparing to write this post, the acronyms for HEAD and HEART flowed right to me.

Let's start with what happens when we get stuck in our HEAD: Hijacked Emotions And Detours. I have a feeling just reading those words may create some resonance with the message already. 

When we are stuck in our heads, it really does feel like our emotions have been hijacked and are out of control. We often end up wandering off the path leading to our best and highest good and end up in some dark, desolate, and dreary places that we would rather not ever visit let alone get stuck in. How does this even happen so fast that we get so far off track before we even realize what is happening?

If we work our way backwards, we find that what we are feeling was likely triggered by a disempowering thought in response to something or someone in our environment. Continuing to work in that direction, the thought may have arisen from a cluster of thoughts that were repeated over and over again and became solidified into a deep-seated  attitude or even a long held belief. Beliefs are formed over the years through all that we observe and experience, especially when accompanied by an intense emotion. Unfortunately, before the age of 7, our beliefs are simply downloaded into the subconscious mind without our ability to pick and choose according to the filter of what is in our best interest. That's why we often refer to that as our "programming' because it is running in the background of our lives at all times until we actually do something to change that. Of course, not all programming is negative, disempowering, or undesirable. In fact, much of it helps us to lead productive lives. It's only the disempowering programs that cause us to sit up and take notice.

When the negative programs rear their ugly heads, that's when it's time to get into our HEART: Healthy Empowerment And Receiving Truth. When life gets out of whack, that's exactly what we most need. (It's rather unfortunate that far too often we let it get to that point before we realize what we need.) As alluded to by the acronym, to be in our heart means that we need to s l o w down, stop thinking so much, and get into a quieter, more receptive state of being. When we are running around (and that can be physically or even mentally) on default mode, we miss so much of the inner wisdom that is always available if we can just find our way back to that innate connection. We can do this eyes open or eyes closed, in solitude or even in a crowd, in silence or not. It's a silence of the heart that we are looking to cultivate.

This takes practice. If the only time we try to tap into the fountain of intuition is when we are desperate and fried, it is going to take a whole lot more effort to stop spinning and start grinning. That's why a daily meditation practice is so very important. You literally teach your brain and body how to disconnect from chronic stress and develop new habits of calm and clarity. This allows you to build healthy neural networks in your brain and positively alters your biochemistry. It's not rocket science! It's even more exciting than that; it's neuroscience! And the way to help your head has been proven to be through your heart. Why? Because it's your heart that has the strongest electromagnetic field of the entire body. Did you know that more information is sent out from the heart than from the brain? It's true! Isn't that amazing? 

If you are interested, I can teach you a heart-centered meditation technique. It's based on research, fast, and effective! It's a great way to get started with meditation. In fact, in honor of February being Heart Health Month, I will even send you a complimentary copy of my "cheat sheet" that explains how to do SIMPLE Meditation! This is a technique that you can't learn anywhere else because it is a Nurture U Exclusive. 💘 If you are not yet a subscriber, just CLICK HERE so you can get started learning and practicing this powerful and uplifting meditation. Just send me an email requesting the SIMPLE Meditation PDF and I will send it to you. After trying it out, you are also welcome to call me with any questions you might have. 

That brings me to the last and perhaps the most important point of all. You may so desperately want to bring about change to allow yourself to cultivate that calm and clarity but feel like every time you sit down to meditate, you feel like it should be called "agitate!" Believe me, I get it! That's why as a coach, I went on to get certified as a Hypnotherapist. I needed a tool to help my clients (and myself!) to get unstuck and that's exactly what I learned!

Honestly, I feel that when we get stuck, Hypnotherapy is THE BEST TOOL for healing and insight, and then mediation can be used for maintenance. Sometimes we just can't forge ahead on our own. We need some support to move forward, to release blocks, to tap into the mind, body, spirit connection and then once we have done that, we are better able to continue on our own. Hypnotherapy can help you to "marry a positive intention with an elevated emotion", as Dr. Joe Dispenza puts it. Without the ability to do that, you will not be able to achieve the Heart-Brain Coherence needed to make the changes that you desire. Hypnotherapy helps you to do just that! It's a beautiful, healing process that I am so passionate about offering to others.

For more information, please visit the Nurture U Life Coaching Hypnotherapy page. You are also welcome to contact me with any questions you may have related to your specific challenges as well.

As always, wishing you wellness, love and light, and all that is good.

Mary Ellen 

The Highly Sensitive Person Label: Limitation or Liberation?

 

As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, this question is indeed near and dear to my heart! Once you "find out" you are an HSP, that is the main issue that you need to address to move from acknowledging the trait to accepting the trait. It is only then that you can learn to effectively accommodate and accentuate your inherent nature. Essentially, the HSP label is either an asset or a liability depending on how you choose to view it.

Therein lies the answer to whether the HSP label is a limitation or liberation: 

It really IS your choice!

Your decision is the difference that will make the difference. If you allow yourself to fall into a victim mentality because this is a trait you were born with and it's not going to go away, you will tend toward avoidance in life and spend a great deal of your energy working to control people, circumstances and events so as to not upset the proverbial apple cart. This is an exhausting way to live. Unfortunately, I know that from past experience. It is in fact, quite limiting!

On the other hand, the HSP label can be the best thing that has ever happened to you! Suddenly you realize why you have felt "different" all of your life, why you have been conditioned to react the way you do, and it is a terrific relief to finally know that 20% of the population can relate to your experience. You embrace this new knowledge and learn the most effective strategies for healing the past, enjoying the present, and co-creating the future. You now know that there are certain things you need to do to balance your nervous system for optimal functioning. You understand that there are ways that you will choose to practice healthy self-care that may differ from the 80% of the population that are non-HSPs and you set the healthy boundaries that allow you the time and space to do so. In other words, Hallelujah! This is what liberation looks like!

So, how can you make the empowering choice to be liberated by the HSP label? You absolutely need to heal the past in order to bring your best self into the present. This involves reframing your experiences prior to realizing you are an HSP in light of this new knowledge. This will allow you to release the negative energy and beliefs of the past and to reclaim the positive energy and beliefs in the present. It really is a beautiful thing to behold - even though there is work to be done to get there.

That's where you may benefit from seeking support. Read books about the HSP trait by reputable authors like Dr. Elaine Aron. Watch videos, read blog posts, join Facebook groups. Do what you can to realize what you feel is real. You are not alone. And most importantly - YOU ARE AWESOME!

Please contact me if I can support your journey to acknowledge, accept, accommodate, and accentuate your trait as a Highly Sensitive Person. Visit the Nurture U website for more information about Holistic Wellness Life Coaching and tapping into the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis are especially effective tools for learning how to lovingly direct your mind and therefore your life. If you have any questions, you are welcome to request a complimentary phone consultation as well.

As for me? I am so happy I chose liberation over limitation. 

I know you can too.

It's time to learn to thrive not just survive!

Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity.

Back to Basics: Adulting 101

In her groundbreaking book The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron refers to the work of Mary Rothbart of the University of Oregon on human development and temperament. As adults, we are capable of using the power of reason to make choices, consciously direct our attention, and exert our willpower to follow through on our decisions and commitments. As the title so clearly states, this is absolutely nothing new at this point. It is a statement of basic common knowledge about how to successfully navigate adulthood. So what's the problem? We all at some point get hijacked and start to doubt these truths that while proven by research, are really quite self-evident.

Why the doubt?

How many times have you set out to achieve some goal or complete a long overdue project with great enthusiasm only to find yourself ready to throw in the towel when you come up against the first obstacle or two? I'm guessing you can relate. I know I can! At those times, it seems that reason, choice, and willpower have left the station and there you are metaphorically standing on the platform wondering what just happened and perhaps even feeling abandoned. Of course, in this case, you haven't really been abandoned by anyone or anything but honestly, self-abandonment can feel even worse. 

Each time throughout our lives that we encounter difficulties, the way we handle them is largely based on our conditioning and past experiences. The deepest level of our conditioning took place BEFORE we reached the age of reason. We were conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, our family, other people, and the world and life in general. At this young age, we were literally like little sponges soaking up everything we saw, heard, felt, and experienced. Because we did not have the skills to evaluate and filter these experiences, we simply absorbed them as is. In other words, our conditioning reflects the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of those around us, NOT our preferences and choices. And that is the start of the inner conflict. As this sets the stage, our experiences begin to both reflect and reinforce our early conditioning.

When what we are experiencing in life is not reflective of what we SAY we want, it is often due to our programming. Let's be honest, that is not always the case. As we know, we are not in control of other people, circumstances, and events that surround and befall us. So, let's not get caught up in magical thinking or quibbling over every cosmic quandary, but rather let's focus on what we CAN DO which is to deal with those persistent inherited beliefs about what we can and cannot do, the shoulds, oughts, and musts, and all the rest that keep us feeling stuck. We can loosen the grip of the past and begin to feel more freedom in the present by identifying that negative prior programming and choosing anew that which will truly reflect who we are and what we want to do with this one wild and precious life as Mary Oliver poetically refers to it.

That's why I have always been a "different kind of coach with a decidedly different approach!" After first getting my coaching credentials, I realized that I needed another way to help my clients get unstuck from ingrained habits and beliefs in order to be happy, healthy, and live a life that matters. That's why I went on to be trained in hypnotherapy and to study meditation through my yoga teacher training. That provided me with the ability to expertly guide my clients through relaxation and meditation to tap into the power of the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change to access inner wisdom, heal and release the past, and commit to inspired action in the present. It is truly an amazingly effective process that I feel humbled and privileged to be a part of.

So, in order to get back to the basics of adulting and exercise the power of reason, choice, and will, we need to do some work to clear out the old in order to welcome the new. Growth and healing our energy is indeed possible. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to support you on your continued journey of wholeness.

Be well. Be blessed. And do what needs to be done.

Be Still and Know - What is Interior Life Coaching?

"Interior Life Coaching" is the term I coined to describe the work that I do because all other terms and labels simply seemed inadequate because as I often tell people,  I am a "Different Kind of Coach with a Decidedly Different Approach."

I started out my formal training and received my designation as a Registered Corporate Coach through the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches. That is how I learned to use the art of questioning to help my clients get clear about what it is they wanted as the initial step in the process of goal setting and change. This same skill is employed throughout the coaching process as well to check progress and to assess and re-assess goals and action steps. I like the analogy of the process being like a pilot who continually monitors the flight pattern and conditions in order to arrive at the intended destination through course correction. The coaching process is an effective one. I watched many highly motivated clients soar to success in their personal and professional lives. Coaching is indeed a fabulous support for growth and change. However, I also started seeing over time that there were clients who were not as successful in achieving their goals due to the presence of limiting beliefs that were deeply ingrained in their minds and reflected in their habits and behaviors. There must be another way...

A-ha! In leafing through a local holistic publication, I remembered seeing an ad for training to become a Certified Hypnotherapist! That's it! That's the "hot ticket" to success: Help people to use the conscious mind to reprogram the subconscious mind in the direction they want it to go! Awesome! I had seen first hand the effects of the subconscious mind, sometimes referred to as the habitual or conditioned mind. In fact, I personally knew the stranglehold the subconscious mind had on me at times as one who grew up in the "far less than ideal conditions" of an alcoholic home. Through my training, I learned what I already knew which is that everything we have seen, heard, and experienced is held in the subconscious mind like a virtual storehouse for life. So, since the subconscious mind is a "goal striving mechanism" that takes direction, all we need to do is to drop down into a relaxed state, also known as the alpha level, and plug in the right commands and Voila' - change happens. Hypnosis works! I saw it time and time again! My clients were losing weight, improving their relationships, increasing their income, quitting smoking, learning to manage stress, and so much more! So, why did I think there had to be more? What was missing?

Since I already held a Bachelor's Degree, a Master's Degree, my coach designation, and hypnotherapy certification, further training was out of the question! So, why did the Yoga Teacher Training keep coming into my mind and tugging at my heart? Was it part of my calling? Was I simply a crazy, perpetual student in search of something elusive? The answer to these questions came to me in audible form, clear as a bell: This is about healing YOU. I will be forever grateful that I listened to my Inner Advisor on this one. Yoga allowed me to heal in so many ways. I learned to become more deeply present in my body and my life. I learned to step out of my ego-driven personality. I learned to breathe. I released old wounds. I restored the flow of healing, life-giving energy. I opened my heart. I learned to be more flexible - literally and figuratively. I learned to not just "relax" but rather to be still. Yoga paved the way for me to step more fully and confidently onto my Spiritual Path, which now I know, is the only way to go.

It was not until recently that I have openly claimed the Spiritual Path as the one that I now choose to walk and I can never go back. This is the path of Truth. This is the path of Power. This is the path of Joy and Peace and all that is Go(o)d! As it has been said, we truly are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. Therefore, in order to move from striving to arriving, we need to go deep. We need to go beyond the conscious and the subconscious mind to what is called the "Superconscious Mind." This is where we make conscious contact with God, Spirit, Our Inner Advisor, the Angels - whatever you choose to call your Higher Power. It is only when we regularly engage in Spiritual practices that we will find our way to the best and Highest Good for all concerned, including us! It is from this space that we confidently acknowledge our desires and choose our intentions, are inspired to take action, and affirm ourselves in the process. Without eventually taking Life to this level, we simply cannot achieve enough goals, make enough money, or accumulate enough material symbols of success to appease the longings of this insatiable "hungry ghost" and that's why anything less than allowing for the possibility for clients to move to a deeper level of healing through Spiritual Life Coaching simply left me as the one in need of "more". All the work I do facilitates positive change, but for truly life-changing holistic transformation to take place, Interior Life Coaching is the way to go.

Interior Life Coaching is a deep process of change from the inside-out. It is about tapping into the Power of the Superconscious Mind to inform the conscious mind and direct the subconscious mind. Interior Life Coaching requires a commitment on the part of clients to engage in stillness. Clients must commit to regularly engage in spiritual practices, whether in the form of centering or contemplative prayer or meditation. The so-called label and the format, method, tool, or technique to "get there" are far less important than the commitment to come to stillness. It is in the stillness that we do little, yet garner so much. It is in the stillness that we listen, we receive, we observe, we witness. It is from the stillness of Be-ing that we empower our do-ing. We plant the seeds that will yield the rich harvest. In stillness, we come to understand what it is meant by "being transformed by the renewing of the mind."

Interior Life Coaching is about Transformation, not just change. I am happy to support you in the process if you are willing to "Be Still and Know."

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U