When Did Rest Become Countercultural?

That's a question that we as a society need to seriously ask ourselves. When DID rest become countercultural AND perhaps even more importantly, WHY do we allow that to be the prevailing narrative that we all feel obliged to succumb to?!?! That's quite a big question to address. Plus, anyone who knows me knows that I tend toward being a tad (ok - more than a tad) wordy. That said, I am set to tackle this in as few words as possible in the interest of time knowing that ironically, that is a huge part of the issue. So here goes...

In spite of all our advances in technology and all of the various gizmos, gadgets, and appliances to make our lives easier and to free up our time, it seems to me that it hasn't had that effect. In fact, sometimes I think the pursuit of it all related to the more, better, faster mentality actually causes some of us to pick up the pace, keep going when our energy is waning, and ignore the signals sent by our body, mind, and spirit that we need to slow down, take a deep breath, stretch, or take a short break and walk around - even if it's just to refill our water bottle so we can stay hydrated to better focus on the task at hand. In essence, even our "breaks" are designed to be a quick way to get back into the grind and keep grinding away.

Sound familiar? It sure does to me! Striving for balance has been the on-going story of my life. Yep, it's true. We teach what we have most needed to learn and even keep learning! We are all a work in progress. Thankfully, I have learned a lot along the way out of sheer necessity and desperation, so that is why I'm so passionate about sharing it with others. Maybe, just maybe, something I say will click for you and help you to create a shift. (And by the way, I LOVE to hear about it when that happens, so please don't hesitate to reply and let me know what resonates for you.)

Here's the thing - I have sounded like a broken record since 2005 repeating the same message over and over again: "Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity." That summarizes the gist of what we need to do to set the foundation to be happy, be healthy, and live a life that matters. So when it comes to putting it into practice, what stops us? And furthermore, what can we do to move past those blocks?

Like so many things in life, the answer is simple but not easy. Many of us are heart-centered people who long to make a positive difference in the world. We find that because of our desire to be there for others, we put ourselves, our needs, and our desires on the back burner. Sometimes, we may actually feel guilty or fear that we are being selfish and letting others down when we take time out for ourselves. What will they think? 

On the other hand, many of us are "Type A" individuals who are driven to high achievement and success. We love to meet new challenges, complete exciting projects, and crave that feeling of accomplishment we get in moving forward with our goals in all areas of life including our career and finances. 

And then - God forbid - there are those of us who fall into BOTH categories. Yep, that's me.

For as long as I can remember, I was an enigma even to myself as I went through life with one foot on the gas and the other on the accelerator. I was the one who ping ponged between the 2 extremes of the stress response. I literally was living in survival mode bouncing from periods of fight to periods of flight. I'd be out there "crushing it" only to find that I was crushing myself in the process and needed to retreat for a period of time to recover. How long of a retreat I needed depended on the level of depletion I allowed to occur before I crashed. Ugh! That is no way to live. I suffered from digestive issues, migraines, frequent infections, aches, pains, and even got mono at one point. The struggle was real!

Why did this happen? Because for a myriad of reasons  - including the real world responsibilities of working, raising a child, meeting expenses, taking care of the house, and all of the other demands of living - I was putting out so much energy without replenishing that I was burning out fast. Thankfully, I was able to come back from this and commit to restoring a strong foundation of healthy self-care which I now know and respect as essential for all I want to be and do! Healthy self-care doesn't stop you from that - it's the path to getting you there! 

I am so far from perfect - and I'm ok with that. As the saying goes, "Perfection is the enemy of the good." However, I do practice what I preach. I incorporate the 4 Keys to Nurture U into my life. I set healthy boundaries around my time and energy to get back into balance. I give myself enough time and space to feel like I have "breathing room." I have daily downtime to help me process the events of the day and renew my energy. I do what I need to do to feel calm, confident, and connected to the greater energy and purpose of my life. I listen to uplifting, transformational audios, including hypnosis and guided meditations. I stay hydrated and eat a well-balanced plant based diet. I enjoy mindful movement, especially my walks in the woods. Lastly, the older I get the more I realize the importance of cultivating joy, whether in the simple pleasures and tasks of daily life like relishing a nice hot shower at the end of the day or the bigger blessings of spending cherished time with family and friends - including my favorite furry feline BFF Bella. It's all GOOD! Now, isn't it time to Nurture U?

Well, I probably exceeded my intended number of words already, but suffice it to say that if I have gotten across the message that rest and healthy self-care are NOT the opposite of productivity, but rather the prerequisite, then I'm ok with that. I'm guessing that if you are still reading, then you are too.

Please let me know your thoughts on the topic. 

Also, as always, let me know if there's anything I can do to support you along the way. 

Wishing you wellness,

Mary Ellen

 

Change Your Luck - Change Your Life!

 Wow! Someone once called Michael Jordan "lucky!" To me, that is truly incomprehensible. However, he chose to address the comment with a classy statement of truth. He simply agreed and said, "Yes, and the more I train, the "luckier" I get!" He is known for crediting the number of shots missed and games lost as the keys to his success. He kept on going. He had the determination and the dedication needed for high performance in his sport. Michael Jordan is a great role model for all of us as we seek to continue to grow, change, and improve our lives whether our goal is high level performance enhancement or to take better care of our bodies. It doesn't matter if your goal is related to your health, your career, your finances, your relationships, or pursuing your passion. When it comes to "luck" - success leaves clues.

Here's what I call the ABC's of what it takes to Change Your Luck and Change Your Life!

A - Affirm Your Intention

I like to use the word intention as opposed to just talking about goals. The reason for that is, for me anyway, the word intention helps me to tap into the energy behind the goal. For example, if someone comes to me for help to lose weight - that is the goal, but the intention is quite different. The intention is related to what the person most wants to experience as a result of making positive changes. The intention behind the goal to lose weight is very personal and varies, but generally includes such things as wanting to feel better in their own skin, to have more energy, to lessen the associated health risks that come with excess weight, to be able to be more active and to enjoy time spent with family, etc. Essentially, the "big picture" intention is that the person just wants to feel better and to feel more in control. An empowering intention is always stated in the present and captures the essence of what is most important. Coaching can definitely help you get clear about your deepest intentions.

B - Build the Habits You Need to Succeed

If you want to achieve anything in life, you will need to take action and take it consistently. One of the best ways to take consistent action is by establishing good routines and habits. Just like smoking is an unhealthy habit, exercise is a healthy habit. A habit is something that you have done over and over again so many times that it becomes familiar and somewhat automatic. A deeply ingrained habit is like a program that is the default setting in a computer. That's great if it's a good habit, but troublesome if it's a bad habit. The good news about habits is: If you can make it; you can break it! Habits can be changed. You can rid yourself of habits that no longer serve you and create new habits that will take you in the direction that you want to go!  It's simple, but not always easy. That's where coaching and hypnotherapy can be especially powerful tools for change.

C - Cultivate Confidence

In order to succeed, you need to have confidence in your ability to achieve your goals. This means, you must possess the confidence that you have what it takes to do what you know you need to do and perhaps most importantly, to keep going when the going gets rough. You have to be resilient and have a sense that what it is you want to achieve is not only achievable, but also is available specifically to YOU! That is really important. The belief that you can't do what needs to be done or can't have what you want will lead you to abandon your goals in the beginning stages as soon as something goes wrong. That's when you have the propensity to look at challenges as evidence that "it wasn't meant to be" or "it wasn't meant for me." As Marisa Peer, a well-known hypnotherapist always says, "You make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make YOU!" Confidence is an indispensable ingredient in the success formula. Even if you don't possess that quality now, confidence can be cultivated!

As the month of March draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the areas of my life that I have changed and need to change. Spring is a great time to renew and refresh your energy and your life. The idea to write about luck came to me for a variety of reasons, including the saying about "the luck of the Irish" and as you may notice from the photo, I am Irish ;) But the main reason I thought of it is that I have needed to implement the steps above so many times in my life. One of the most amazing examples was years ago when I wanted to increase my business. I really needed to shift my mindset and as "luck" would have it, I listened to a fellow hypnotherapist, Wendi Friesen, discussing the topic of luck and leading the group through a hypnosis session to improve our luck. It was pretty amazing. Shortly after the session, I had the idea to call the health and wellness reporter at one of the major news networks in Cleveland to ask if they would be interested in doing a story on hypnosis. Well, they were and they did! In fact, the story was over 6 minutes long! I was also featured on other TV shows, radio, and newspaper. How's that for "Lucky?"

Had I not affirmed my intention, built the habits needed to succeed, and cultivated confidence in who I am and what I do, none of that would have happened. I had a holistic approach that enhanced the energy/vibration that I radiated, shifted my mindset, and inspired the actions needed to meet my goal. If I can do it, so can you.

Yes, YOU CAN and I can help.

Blessings!

Mary Ellen 

 

Hypnosis IS Mind Control!

 

HYPNOSIS IS MIND CONTROL!

Well, now that I have your attention, let's talk truth over trash! 

As a hypnotherapist, I have always tried my level best to take every opportunity to educate people about the wonderful benefits of hypnosis in the most professional manner and backed by scientific research and information. In my career, along with frequent speaking engagements, I have had the good fortune and pleasure of being featured on TV, radio, and in the newspaper as an expert in the field. Yet, in spite of it all (and I mean it all), there still remains a great deal of misinformation regarding this amazingly effective way to enjoy the process of transformation as changes occur both faster and easier than with using coaching alone. Why would anyone fail to avail themselves of this evidence-based methodology for success???? One word: FEAR! 

So, now I hope to address that block.

It is a universally observable desire that people want to be in control, right? This is self-evident. Well what is clearly NOT self-evident is how to increase your ability to be in control and change the things you can. Of course, none of us can control everything - including other people, circumstances, and the events that happen all around us on a daily basis - BUT that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to control anything! The one thing we CAN CONTROL is how we respond to what happens in our lives. That response includes the thoughts we allow ourselves to focus on, the words we choose to speak, the actions that we take, and the pictures in our heads that we give our attention to. 

Can we control our response to what life brings us? If so, does that affect our ability to bring into our lives more of what we want and less of what we don't? The answer to both questions is a loud and emphatic YES! Then why does it sometimes seems so hard? Because of all that has been programmed and conditioned into our minds.

The mind is made up of the conscious, thinking, critical, analytical mind.  While we all like to believe that we are able to function solely from logic, that just isn't the case. The conscious mind is only running the show for about 5% of our lives! That's where the subconscious mind comes in. The subconscious mind is not an UNconscious mind, It is simply operating automatically below our conscious awareness and quite frankly, that's a good thing! The subconscious mind takes care of our on-going bodily functions like our breathing and the beating of our hearts and the digestion of our food. Could you imagine if we had to allocate our attention to direct all that? So, the subconscious mind is functioning 95% of the time and always on our behalf. However, since the job of our mind is primarily to keep us safe and alive, that's where it can get a little dicey. If simply allowed to remain unexamined or unchallenged, the negative experiences of the past can be a destructive force in the present causing people pain, fear, and undue frustration as they seek to live a life of happiness, health, and success.

That's because the subconscious mind is a running record of all that we have heard, seen, and experienced and unfortunately, that is always a mixed bag of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Naturally we want to avoid pain and move toward pleasure, but what the subconscious mind has been conditioned to believe to be the means to do that is often faulty at best. A further complication is that the subconscious mind learns both explicitly and implicitly, so we absorb a lot more than what was perhaps passed on to us intentionally. Much of what we have learned about how to survive in this world was downloaded into us (before the age of 7) simply by observing the people around us. In addition, the more frequent or intense our exposure to something, the more of an impact it has on us. 

For better or worse, all this shapes our reality. But, the good news is: that's not the end of the story. The story of our past need not define the potentiality of our future. And that's where hypnotherapy and hypnosis come in. They are powerful tools that we all can use no matter how, when, or why a problem or habit started and that's a beautiful process to behold. It never gets old and never ceases to amaze me. How blessed I am to facilitate this process for others! 

By allowing the body and mind to relax, a person becomes more open and receptive to all the suggestions that help to create the desired changes. Hypnotherapy also helps people to tap into the power of their own inner wisdom to gain the necessary insight they need to heal and move forward. Through hypnotherapy, people are able to connect with their own sense of power, not over anyone else, but rather over their own lives. This is reinforced during sessions as people begin to see themselves in a better, brighter future.

So, the shocking headline that Hypnosis IS Mind Control is not so shocking after all, is it? 

Rather than living by default, by choosing hypnotherapy and hypnosis, it is you that can regain control over your own mind and therefore, your own life. You can heal the past, enjoy the present, and co-create your future!

Yes, you can and I can help. 

The combination of holistic wellness life coaching is a fabulous option for not just change, but transforming your life. 

There - now you know the truth! Let me know if you have any questions or would like further information. Have a Blessed Day!

https://nurtureulifecoaching.com/

 

The Highly Sensitive Person Label: Limitation or Liberation?

 

As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, this question is indeed near and dear to my heart! Once you "find out" you are an HSP, that is the main issue that you need to address to move from acknowledging the trait to accepting the trait. It is only then that you can learn to effectively accommodate and accentuate your inherent nature. Essentially, the HSP label is either an asset or a liability depending on how you choose to view it.

Therein lies the answer to whether the HSP label is a limitation or liberation: 

It really IS your choice!

Your decision is the difference that will make the difference. If you allow yourself to fall into a victim mentality because this is a trait you were born with and it's not going to go away, you will tend toward avoidance in life and spend a great deal of your energy working to control people, circumstances and events so as to not upset the proverbial apple cart. This is an exhausting way to live. Unfortunately, I know that from past experience. It is in fact, quite limiting!

On the other hand, the HSP label can be the best thing that has ever happened to you! Suddenly you realize why you have felt "different" all of your life, why you have been conditioned to react the way you do, and it is a terrific relief to finally know that 20% of the population can relate to your experience. You embrace this new knowledge and learn the most effective strategies for healing the past, enjoying the present, and co-creating the future. You now know that there are certain things you need to do to balance your nervous system for optimal functioning. You understand that there are ways that you will choose to practice healthy self-care that may differ from the 80% of the population that are non-HSPs and you set the healthy boundaries that allow you the time and space to do so. In other words, Hallelujah! This is what liberation looks like!

So, how can you make the empowering choice to be liberated by the HSP label? You absolutely need to heal the past in order to bring your best self into the present. This involves reframing your experiences prior to realizing you are an HSP in light of this new knowledge. This will allow you to release the negative energy and beliefs of the past and to reclaim the positive energy and beliefs in the present. It really is a beautiful thing to behold - even though there is work to be done to get there.

That's where you may benefit from seeking support. Read books about the HSP trait by reputable authors like Dr. Elaine Aron. Watch videos, read blog posts, join Facebook groups. Do what you can to realize what you feel is real. You are not alone. And most importantly - YOU ARE AWESOME!

Please contact me if I can support your journey to acknowledge, accept, accommodate, and accentuate your trait as a Highly Sensitive Person. Visit the Nurture U website for more information about Holistic Wellness Life Coaching and tapping into the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis are especially effective tools for learning how to lovingly direct your mind and therefore your life. If you have any questions, you are welcome to request a complimentary phone consultation as well.

As for me? I am so happy I chose liberation over limitation. 

I know you can too.

It's time to learn to thrive not just survive!

Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity.

Be Still and Know - What is Interior Life Coaching?

"Interior Life Coaching" is the term I coined to describe the work that I do because all other terms and labels simply seemed inadequate because as I often tell people,  I am a "Different Kind of Coach with a Decidedly Different Approach."

I started out my formal training and received my designation as a Registered Corporate Coach through the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches. That is how I learned to use the art of questioning to help my clients get clear about what it is they wanted as the initial step in the process of goal setting and change. This same skill is employed throughout the coaching process as well to check progress and to assess and re-assess goals and action steps. I like the analogy of the process being like a pilot who continually monitors the flight pattern and conditions in order to arrive at the intended destination through course correction. The coaching process is an effective one. I watched many highly motivated clients soar to success in their personal and professional lives. Coaching is indeed a fabulous support for growth and change. However, I also started seeing over time that there were clients who were not as successful in achieving their goals due to the presence of limiting beliefs that were deeply ingrained in their minds and reflected in their habits and behaviors. There must be another way...

A-ha! In leafing through a local holistic publication, I remembered seeing an ad for training to become a Certified Hypnotherapist! That's it! That's the "hot ticket" to success: Help people to use the conscious mind to reprogram the subconscious mind in the direction they want it to go! Awesome! I had seen first hand the effects of the subconscious mind, sometimes referred to as the habitual or conditioned mind. In fact, I personally knew the stranglehold the subconscious mind had on me at times as one who grew up in the "far less than ideal conditions" of an alcoholic home. Through my training, I learned what I already knew which is that everything we have seen, heard, and experienced is held in the subconscious mind like a virtual storehouse for life. So, since the subconscious mind is a "goal striving mechanism" that takes direction, all we need to do is to drop down into a relaxed state, also known as the alpha level, and plug in the right commands and Voila' - change happens. Hypnosis works! I saw it time and time again! My clients were losing weight, improving their relationships, increasing their income, quitting smoking, learning to manage stress, and so much more! So, why did I think there had to be more? What was missing?

Since I already held a Bachelor's Degree, a Master's Degree, my coach designation, and hypnotherapy certification, further training was out of the question! So, why did the Yoga Teacher Training keep coming into my mind and tugging at my heart? Was it part of my calling? Was I simply a crazy, perpetual student in search of something elusive? The answer to these questions came to me in audible form, clear as a bell: This is about healing YOU. I will be forever grateful that I listened to my Inner Advisor on this one. Yoga allowed me to heal in so many ways. I learned to become more deeply present in my body and my life. I learned to step out of my ego-driven personality. I learned to breathe. I released old wounds. I restored the flow of healing, life-giving energy. I opened my heart. I learned to be more flexible - literally and figuratively. I learned to not just "relax" but rather to be still. Yoga paved the way for me to step more fully and confidently onto my Spiritual Path, which now I know, is the only way to go.

It was not until recently that I have openly claimed the Spiritual Path as the one that I now choose to walk and I can never go back. This is the path of Truth. This is the path of Power. This is the path of Joy and Peace and all that is Go(o)d! As it has been said, we truly are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. Therefore, in order to move from striving to arriving, we need to go deep. We need to go beyond the conscious and the subconscious mind to what is called the "Superconscious Mind." This is where we make conscious contact with God, Spirit, Our Inner Advisor, the Angels - whatever you choose to call your Higher Power. It is only when we regularly engage in Spiritual practices that we will find our way to the best and Highest Good for all concerned, including us! It is from this space that we confidently acknowledge our desires and choose our intentions, are inspired to take action, and affirm ourselves in the process. Without eventually taking Life to this level, we simply cannot achieve enough goals, make enough money, or accumulate enough material symbols of success to appease the longings of this insatiable "hungry ghost" and that's why anything less than allowing for the possibility for clients to move to a deeper level of healing through Spiritual Life Coaching simply left me as the one in need of "more". All the work I do facilitates positive change, but for truly life-changing holistic transformation to take place, Interior Life Coaching is the way to go.

Interior Life Coaching is a deep process of change from the inside-out. It is about tapping into the Power of the Superconscious Mind to inform the conscious mind and direct the subconscious mind. Interior Life Coaching requires a commitment on the part of clients to engage in stillness. Clients must commit to regularly engage in spiritual practices, whether in the form of centering or contemplative prayer or meditation. The so-called label and the format, method, tool, or technique to "get there" are far less important than the commitment to come to stillness. It is in the stillness that we do little, yet garner so much. It is in the stillness that we listen, we receive, we observe, we witness. It is from the stillness of Be-ing that we empower our do-ing. We plant the seeds that will yield the rich harvest. In stillness, we come to understand what it is meant by "being transformed by the renewing of the mind."

Interior Life Coaching is about Transformation, not just change. I am happy to support you in the process if you are willing to "Be Still and Know."

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U