Get Out of Your HEAD and into Your HEART

I love walking in the woods. I will freely admit however, that this time of year it is much more challenging for me due to the cold. But, if the sun is out, it makes all the difference in the world! My solitary walks help me to get out of my head and into my heart. Just to be clear, I'm not saying that being in our head is always a bad thing. It's only when we get caught in a downward spiral of negative looping and feedback that we need to recalibrate.

I'm a big fan of acronyms as anyone who has followed my work over the years probably already knows. So as I was preparing to write this post, the acronyms for HEAD and HEART flowed right to me.

Let's start with what happens when we get stuck in our HEAD: Hijacked Emotions And Detours. I have a feeling just reading those words may create some resonance with the message already. 

When we are stuck in our heads, it really does feel like our emotions have been hijacked and are out of control. We often end up wandering off the path leading to our best and highest good and end up in some dark, desolate, and dreary places that we would rather not ever visit let alone get stuck in. How does this even happen so fast that we get so far off track before we even realize what is happening?

If we work our way backwards, we find that what we are feeling was likely triggered by a disempowering thought in response to something or someone in our environment. Continuing to work in that direction, the thought may have arisen from a cluster of thoughts that were repeated over and over again and became solidified into a deep-seated  attitude or even a long held belief. Beliefs are formed over the years through all that we observe and experience, especially when accompanied by an intense emotion. Unfortunately, before the age of 7, our beliefs are simply downloaded into the subconscious mind without our ability to pick and choose according to the filter of what is in our best interest. That's why we often refer to that as our "programming' because it is running in the background of our lives at all times until we actually do something to change that. Of course, not all programming is negative, disempowering, or undesirable. In fact, much of it helps us to lead productive lives. It's only the disempowering programs that cause us to sit up and take notice.

When the negative programs rear their ugly heads, that's when it's time to get into our HEART: Healthy Empowerment And Receiving Truth. When life gets out of whack, that's exactly what we most need. (It's rather unfortunate that far too often we let it get to that point before we realize what we need.) As alluded to by the acronym, to be in our heart means that we need to s l o w down, stop thinking so much, and get into a quieter, more receptive state of being. When we are running around (and that can be physically or even mentally) on default mode, we miss so much of the inner wisdom that is always available if we can just find our way back to that innate connection. We can do this eyes open or eyes closed, in solitude or even in a crowd, in silence or not. It's a silence of the heart that we are looking to cultivate.

This takes practice. If the only time we try to tap into the fountain of intuition is when we are desperate and fried, it is going to take a whole lot more effort to stop spinning and start grinning. That's why a daily meditation practice is so very important. You literally teach your brain and body how to disconnect from chronic stress and develop new habits of calm and clarity. This allows you to build healthy neural networks in your brain and positively alters your biochemistry. It's not rocket science! It's even more exciting than that; it's neuroscience! And the way to help your head has been proven to be through your heart. Why? Because it's your heart that has the strongest electromagnetic field of the entire body. Did you know that more information is sent out from the heart than from the brain? It's true! Isn't that amazing? 

If you are interested, I can teach you a heart-centered meditation technique. It's based on research, fast, and effective! It's a great way to get started with meditation. In fact, in honor of February being Heart Health Month, I will even send you a complimentary copy of my "cheat sheet" that explains how to do SIMPLE Meditation! This is a technique that you can't learn anywhere else because it is a Nurture U Exclusive. 💘 If you are not yet a subscriber, just CLICK HERE so you can get started learning and practicing this powerful and uplifting meditation. Just send me an email requesting the SIMPLE Meditation PDF and I will send it to you. After trying it out, you are also welcome to call me with any questions you might have. 

That brings me to the last and perhaps the most important point of all. You may so desperately want to bring about change to allow yourself to cultivate that calm and clarity but feel like every time you sit down to meditate, you feel like it should be called "agitate!" Believe me, I get it! That's why as a coach, I went on to get certified as a Hypnotherapist. I needed a tool to help my clients (and myself!) to get unstuck and that's exactly what I learned!

Honestly, I feel that when we get stuck, Hypnotherapy is THE BEST TOOL for healing and insight, and then mediation can be used for maintenance. Sometimes we just can't forge ahead on our own. We need some support to move forward, to release blocks, to tap into the mind, body, spirit connection and then once we have done that, we are better able to continue on our own. Hypnotherapy can help you to "marry a positive intention with an elevated emotion", as Dr. Joe Dispenza puts it. Without the ability to do that, you will not be able to achieve the Heart-Brain Coherence needed to make the changes that you desire. Hypnotherapy helps you to do just that! It's a beautiful, healing process that I am so passionate about offering to others.

For more information, please visit the Nurture U Life Coaching Hypnotherapy page. You are also welcome to contact me with any questions you may have related to your specific challenges as well.

As always, wishing you wellness, love and light, and all that is good.

Mary Ellen 

Be Still and Know - What is Interior Life Coaching?

"Interior Life Coaching" is the term I coined to describe the work that I do because all other terms and labels simply seemed inadequate because as I often tell people,  I am a "Different Kind of Coach with a Decidedly Different Approach."

I started out my formal training and received my designation as a Registered Corporate Coach through the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches. That is how I learned to use the art of questioning to help my clients get clear about what it is they wanted as the initial step in the process of goal setting and change. This same skill is employed throughout the coaching process as well to check progress and to assess and re-assess goals and action steps. I like the analogy of the process being like a pilot who continually monitors the flight pattern and conditions in order to arrive at the intended destination through course correction. The coaching process is an effective one. I watched many highly motivated clients soar to success in their personal and professional lives. Coaching is indeed a fabulous support for growth and change. However, I also started seeing over time that there were clients who were not as successful in achieving their goals due to the presence of limiting beliefs that were deeply ingrained in their minds and reflected in their habits and behaviors. There must be another way...

A-ha! In leafing through a local holistic publication, I remembered seeing an ad for training to become a Certified Hypnotherapist! That's it! That's the "hot ticket" to success: Help people to use the conscious mind to reprogram the subconscious mind in the direction they want it to go! Awesome! I had seen first hand the effects of the subconscious mind, sometimes referred to as the habitual or conditioned mind. In fact, I personally knew the stranglehold the subconscious mind had on me at times as one who grew up in the "far less than ideal conditions" of an alcoholic home. Through my training, I learned what I already knew which is that everything we have seen, heard, and experienced is held in the subconscious mind like a virtual storehouse for life. So, since the subconscious mind is a "goal striving mechanism" that takes direction, all we need to do is to drop down into a relaxed state, also known as the alpha level, and plug in the right commands and Voila' - change happens. Hypnosis works! I saw it time and time again! My clients were losing weight, improving their relationships, increasing their income, quitting smoking, learning to manage stress, and so much more! So, why did I think there had to be more? What was missing?

Since I already held a Bachelor's Degree, a Master's Degree, my coach designation, and hypnotherapy certification, further training was out of the question! So, why did the Yoga Teacher Training keep coming into my mind and tugging at my heart? Was it part of my calling? Was I simply a crazy, perpetual student in search of something elusive? The answer to these questions came to me in audible form, clear as a bell: This is about healing YOU. I will be forever grateful that I listened to my Inner Advisor on this one. Yoga allowed me to heal in so many ways. I learned to become more deeply present in my body and my life. I learned to step out of my ego-driven personality. I learned to breathe. I released old wounds. I restored the flow of healing, life-giving energy. I opened my heart. I learned to be more flexible - literally and figuratively. I learned to not just "relax" but rather to be still. Yoga paved the way for me to step more fully and confidently onto my Spiritual Path, which now I know, is the only way to go.

It was not until recently that I have openly claimed the Spiritual Path as the one that I now choose to walk and I can never go back. This is the path of Truth. This is the path of Power. This is the path of Joy and Peace and all that is Go(o)d! As it has been said, we truly are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. Therefore, in order to move from striving to arriving, we need to go deep. We need to go beyond the conscious and the subconscious mind to what is called the "Superconscious Mind." This is where we make conscious contact with God, Spirit, Our Inner Advisor, the Angels - whatever you choose to call your Higher Power. It is only when we regularly engage in Spiritual practices that we will find our way to the best and Highest Good for all concerned, including us! It is from this space that we confidently acknowledge our desires and choose our intentions, are inspired to take action, and affirm ourselves in the process. Without eventually taking Life to this level, we simply cannot achieve enough goals, make enough money, or accumulate enough material symbols of success to appease the longings of this insatiable "hungry ghost" and that's why anything less than allowing for the possibility for clients to move to a deeper level of healing through Spiritual Life Coaching simply left me as the one in need of "more". All the work I do facilitates positive change, but for truly life-changing holistic transformation to take place, Interior Life Coaching is the way to go.

Interior Life Coaching is a deep process of change from the inside-out. It is about tapping into the Power of the Superconscious Mind to inform the conscious mind and direct the subconscious mind. Interior Life Coaching requires a commitment on the part of clients to engage in stillness. Clients must commit to regularly engage in spiritual practices, whether in the form of centering or contemplative prayer or meditation. The so-called label and the format, method, tool, or technique to "get there" are far less important than the commitment to come to stillness. It is in the stillness that we do little, yet garner so much. It is in the stillness that we listen, we receive, we observe, we witness. It is from the stillness of Be-ing that we empower our do-ing. We plant the seeds that will yield the rich harvest. In stillness, we come to understand what it is meant by "being transformed by the renewing of the mind."

Interior Life Coaching is about Transformation, not just change. I am happy to support you in the process if you are willing to "Be Still and Know."

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U

Creating an Integrative Energy Shift for the New Year (and Every Day!) Part 1: The P4 Paradigm for Change

The P4 Paradigm is the foundation of how to condition your mind, body, and spirit to create and sustain the changes you wish to make in the New Year or at anytime. This powerful format emerged from years of working with life coaching clients and wellness program participants. It has been developed from extensive knowledge and training in education and the social sciences as well as the less traditional fields of life coaching, hypnotherapy, yoga, and meditation. This paradigm is holistic in nature and reflects ancient wisdom that spans a myriad of traditions and is now increasingly backed by scientific research. We live in an exciting time of growth and change. Embrace this knowledge to empower yourself to dare to lead a life of greater joy and fulfillment. It is my hope that you will use this paradigm as a structural framework of support throughout your continuing journey of self-realization.

P1 - Positive

Whatever your intention is for your life, you must learn to focus your attention in a positive manner on what it is that you DO want to be, do, and have in your life. So much time and energy is wasted on complaining and focusing on what we don't want to be, do, or have which is not only counter-productive, but it is downright draining as well. We need to acknowledge our present reality as what has been created by the past and not as our life sentence for the future. Ironically, the most significant error most people make in "trying to be positive" is not knowing how to handle the negative. We need to allow for that which we consider to be negative to be brought into our conscious awareness without any resistance on our part. To deny negativity creates resistance and resistance blocks the flow of positive energy. One of the biggest problems that can come from this is that by denying the negative thoughts and feelings, we do not release them or lessen their impact, we simply send them "underground" where they fester and foster a free-floating fear and sap our energy, our life force, our strength. It is far better to spend time in meditation and simply allow those thoughts, feelings, and sensations to float like clouds across the calm background of what I call the "Blue Sky Mind" - you notice them, acknowledge them, and let them pass by. This will indeed free your mind and your energy to be more fully present to manifest your positive intentions. Positive energy flows naturally and freely if it is not blocked or diverted. Enlisting the help and support of a trusted healer, life coach, meditation teacher, or even guided meditation audios can aid you in this process.

P2 - Persistent

Persistence is the key to whether or not your intentions and resolutions "stick." How many times have you resolved to eat right, exercise, meditate daily, get organized, or ______________ (fill in the blank with any resolution you have made) and found that by the 2nd week (or let's face it - sometimes the 2nd day or let's be really honest - the 2nd hour) your resolution crashed and burned in the face of temptation or lethargy or whatever! That phenomenon comes from clinging to the fantasy that change happens all at once or that it should be easy. To cling to that fantasy is a recipe for disaster. Change takes persistence. Change takes time. Change is a process, not a one-time event. Change is challenging - Period. Sorry to burst the bubble of illusion, but that is part of my job as a life coach. I support you in making change by helping you embrace the truth. Now, here's the good news: Change is Fabulous! People create positive changes all the time and you can too! Just allow yourself the time, the space, the gentleness, the support, and the joy to bring it about. There are so many things you can do to keep yourself on track and focused. Stay open to the tools and techniques that work best for you. Enlist the support of people who radiate positive energy and will help you to hold your vision for change.

P3 - Pervasive

In order for a resolution or intention to be manifested into reality, you need to check the "ecology" of the goal. In other words, what effect will this intention have on other areas of your life? How will your goal impact your energy level, your relationships, your home, your career, your time, your finances, etc.? These are essential to consider and to include into your underlying motivation to allow your intention to be expansive, to grow, to encompass and have a positive effect not only on you, but on your entire life as well. A good life coach can help you in this regard by asking the questions that will elicit the information needed to reframe your goals to have the greatest impact on your life. This is part of what makes change so fabulous! It turns a personal resolution into a revolution.

P4 - Peaceful

Here's the kicker: Change is challenging, but it does not need to create distress. Distress comes from the stories that we tell ourselves about who we are and what we should do. Distress comes from not following intuitive guidance. Distress comes from trying to force outcomes that are not in alignment with our highest good. Distress comes from ignoring the inner voice. Distress comes from not taking action in the direction of our calling. Distress, distress, and more distress. The antidote to distress is simply to come from a place of peace. It is in the silence of our minds and hearts that we have access to our highest intentions, our next step, inspired action plans, and the affirmation of our direction. Without allowing ourselves to rest and relax in the alpha state of mind, we simply cannot function at our highest level. We all must carve out the time for meditation, quiet contemplation and reflection, and calming activities that get us out of a driven state of being and into the power of being the driving force in our lives.  Peacefulness is not the opposite of productivity; it is a pre-requisite. Find the tools, techniques, teachers, and texts that will bring help you connect with your inner peace. Again and again, we will come back to the need for peace in the process of change.

(Part 2 in this series will focus on the Triple-A Avenue of Success.)

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U