When Did Rest Become Countercultural?

That's a question that we as a society need to seriously ask ourselves. When DID rest become countercultural AND perhaps even more importantly, WHY do we allow that to be the prevailing narrative that we all feel obliged to succumb to?!?! That's quite a big question to address. Plus, anyone who knows me knows that I tend toward being a tad (ok - more than a tad) wordy. That said, I am set to tackle this in as few words as possible in the interest of time knowing that ironically, that is a huge part of the issue. So here goes...

In spite of all our advances in technology and all of the various gizmos, gadgets, and appliances to make our lives easier and to free up our time, it seems to me that it hasn't had that effect. In fact, sometimes I think the pursuit of it all related to the more, better, faster mentality actually causes some of us to pick up the pace, keep going when our energy is waning, and ignore the signals sent by our body, mind, and spirit that we need to slow down, take a deep breath, stretch, or take a short break and walk around - even if it's just to refill our water bottle so we can stay hydrated to better focus on the task at hand. In essence, even our "breaks" are designed to be a quick way to get back into the grind and keep grinding away.

Sound familiar? It sure does to me! Striving for balance has been the on-going story of my life. Yep, it's true. We teach what we have most needed to learn and even keep learning! We are all a work in progress. Thankfully, I have learned a lot along the way out of sheer necessity and desperation, so that is why I'm so passionate about sharing it with others. Maybe, just maybe, something I say will click for you and help you to create a shift. (And by the way, I LOVE to hear about it when that happens, so please don't hesitate to reply and let me know what resonates for you.)

Here's the thing - I have sounded like a broken record since 2005 repeating the same message over and over again: "Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity." That summarizes the gist of what we need to do to set the foundation to be happy, be healthy, and live a life that matters. So when it comes to putting it into practice, what stops us? And furthermore, what can we do to move past those blocks?

Like so many things in life, the answer is simple but not easy. Many of us are heart-centered people who long to make a positive difference in the world. We find that because of our desire to be there for others, we put ourselves, our needs, and our desires on the back burner. Sometimes, we may actually feel guilty or fear that we are being selfish and letting others down when we take time out for ourselves. What will they think? 

On the other hand, many of us are "Type A" individuals who are driven to high achievement and success. We love to meet new challenges, complete exciting projects, and crave that feeling of accomplishment we get in moving forward with our goals in all areas of life including our career and finances. 

And then - God forbid - there are those of us who fall into BOTH categories. Yep, that's me.

For as long as I can remember, I was an enigma even to myself as I went through life with one foot on the gas and the other on the accelerator. I was the one who ping ponged between the 2 extremes of the stress response. I literally was living in survival mode bouncing from periods of fight to periods of flight. I'd be out there "crushing it" only to find that I was crushing myself in the process and needed to retreat for a period of time to recover. How long of a retreat I needed depended on the level of depletion I allowed to occur before I crashed. Ugh! That is no way to live. I suffered from digestive issues, migraines, frequent infections, aches, pains, and even got mono at one point. The struggle was real!

Why did this happen? Because for a myriad of reasons  - including the real world responsibilities of working, raising a child, meeting expenses, taking care of the house, and all of the other demands of living - I was putting out so much energy without replenishing that I was burning out fast. Thankfully, I was able to come back from this and commit to restoring a strong foundation of healthy self-care which I now know and respect as essential for all I want to be and do! Healthy self-care doesn't stop you from that - it's the path to getting you there! 

I am so far from perfect - and I'm ok with that. As the saying goes, "Perfection is the enemy of the good." However, I do practice what I preach. I incorporate the 4 Keys to Nurture U into my life. I set healthy boundaries around my time and energy to get back into balance. I give myself enough time and space to feel like I have "breathing room." I have daily downtime to help me process the events of the day and renew my energy. I do what I need to do to feel calm, confident, and connected to the greater energy and purpose of my life. I listen to uplifting, transformational audios, including hypnosis and guided meditations. I stay hydrated and eat a well-balanced plant based diet. I enjoy mindful movement, especially my walks in the woods. Lastly, the older I get the more I realize the importance of cultivating joy, whether in the simple pleasures and tasks of daily life like relishing a nice hot shower at the end of the day or the bigger blessings of spending cherished time with family and friends - including my favorite furry feline BFF Bella. It's all GOOD! Now, isn't it time to Nurture U?

Well, I probably exceeded my intended number of words already, but suffice it to say that if I have gotten across the message that rest and healthy self-care are NOT the opposite of productivity, but rather the prerequisite, then I'm ok with that. I'm guessing that if you are still reading, then you are too.

Please let me know your thoughts on the topic. 

Also, as always, let me know if there's anything I can do to support you along the way. 

Wishing you wellness,

Mary Ellen

 

What is YOUR Declaration of Independence?

Let's face it, in spite of the myriad of differences, the truth is that we all share the same goal.
We all want freedom.
Freedom from and freedom to.

Let me explain...

When I was going through my coach training, one of the things I learned is how to skillfully ask clients a series of questions in order to help them to gain greater clarity with regard to the goals that they intend to achieve. However, even more important than helping clients to identify goals is the need to elicit the deeper want behind the goal. The deeper want is what provides us with the motivation to keep moving toward the goal in spite of the inevitable bumps we will encounter. That's just the way it is.
(Trust me, if the road to success was that easy, we would run into a lot more traffic on the way!)

So, after working with hundreds and hundreds of clients, I can honestly say that all goals come down to a desire for freedom - no matter what that goal may look like on the surface.
Also, all goals are about "freedom from" and "freedom to."
In other words, you need to get clear in answering this question:
What is it that you want less of in your life and what is it that you want more of? 
It all comes down to that.

(This sounds very simple and in many ways it is. What gets complicated is when either we aren't sure of the deeper want or when we run into limiting thoughts and beliefs that have been "downloaded" over the years that are in conflict with the goals we have chosen. Again, this process varies greatly from person to person. Essentially, that's why Holistic Wellness Life Coaching is individualized and goes beyond traditional coaching methods to include guided meditation and imagery.)

To illustrate the point, here is a powerful example that many can relate to. One of the most common issues I work with is weight loss. This is clearly an issue that is deeper than it appears on the surface. No one really seeks coaching because the goal is to eat healthy and exercise! That is the ACTION that must be taken consistently over time to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.

To confuse the action with the goal is the #1 way to literally kill your motivation, yet so many people approach change that way. It simply does not work.

Weight loss is about freedom!

Freedom from:
Chronic pain caused by excess pressure on the joints
Medical issues, time, and the cost of care for conditions caused or exacerbated by excess weight
Low self-esteem associated with feeling out of control of one's habits
Feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious in your own body
(And the list goes on and on and on and varies from person to person...)

Freedom to:
Perform daily activities with greater ease
Enjoy a higher level of energy for all you do
Play, dance, go to the beach, etc. with loved ones and friends
Wear clothes that fit and feel fabulous
Eat to live, not live to eat
(And again, this list goes on and on and on and varies from person to person...)

Weight loss is just one example. Your desire for freedom may manifest itself with regard to any number of things including, but not limited to, expressing your creativity, increasing your income and financial security, buying the house or boat or car of your dreams, going on the vacation of a lifetime, changing careers, learning to sing, etc. etc. etc.

Your Declaration of Independence is the first step that will lead you to your goal of being more, doing more, and having more of what you want in life. It's all about abundant living at its finest. It's all about freedom.

What is YOUR Declaration of Independence?
What is it YOU want to enjoy freedom from or freedom to?
Most importantly, how and when are you going to start your revolution?

Now is the perfect time. Now is the only time.
Start today.

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U