When Did Rest Become Countercultural?

That's a question that we as a society need to seriously ask ourselves. When DID rest become countercultural AND perhaps even more importantly, WHY do we allow that to be the prevailing narrative that we all feel obliged to succumb to?!?! That's quite a big question to address. Plus, anyone who knows me knows that I tend toward being a tad (ok - more than a tad) wordy. That said, I am set to tackle this in as few words as possible in the interest of time knowing that ironically, that is a huge part of the issue. So here goes...

In spite of all our advances in technology and all of the various gizmos, gadgets, and appliances to make our lives easier and to free up our time, it seems to me that it hasn't had that effect. In fact, sometimes I think the pursuit of it all related to the more, better, faster mentality actually causes some of us to pick up the pace, keep going when our energy is waning, and ignore the signals sent by our body, mind, and spirit that we need to slow down, take a deep breath, stretch, or take a short break and walk around - even if it's just to refill our water bottle so we can stay hydrated to better focus on the task at hand. In essence, even our "breaks" are designed to be a quick way to get back into the grind and keep grinding away.

Sound familiar? It sure does to me! Striving for balance has been the on-going story of my life. Yep, it's true. We teach what we have most needed to learn and even keep learning! We are all a work in progress. Thankfully, I have learned a lot along the way out of sheer necessity and desperation, so that is why I'm so passionate about sharing it with others. Maybe, just maybe, something I say will click for you and help you to create a shift. (And by the way, I LOVE to hear about it when that happens, so please don't hesitate to reply and let me know what resonates for you.)

Here's the thing - I have sounded like a broken record since 2005 repeating the same message over and over again: "Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity." That summarizes the gist of what we need to do to set the foundation to be happy, be healthy, and live a life that matters. So when it comes to putting it into practice, what stops us? And furthermore, what can we do to move past those blocks?

Like so many things in life, the answer is simple but not easy. Many of us are heart-centered people who long to make a positive difference in the world. We find that because of our desire to be there for others, we put ourselves, our needs, and our desires on the back burner. Sometimes, we may actually feel guilty or fear that we are being selfish and letting others down when we take time out for ourselves. What will they think? 

On the other hand, many of us are "Type A" individuals who are driven to high achievement and success. We love to meet new challenges, complete exciting projects, and crave that feeling of accomplishment we get in moving forward with our goals in all areas of life including our career and finances. 

And then - God forbid - there are those of us who fall into BOTH categories. Yep, that's me.

For as long as I can remember, I was an enigma even to myself as I went through life with one foot on the gas and the other on the accelerator. I was the one who ping ponged between the 2 extremes of the stress response. I literally was living in survival mode bouncing from periods of fight to periods of flight. I'd be out there "crushing it" only to find that I was crushing myself in the process and needed to retreat for a period of time to recover. How long of a retreat I needed depended on the level of depletion I allowed to occur before I crashed. Ugh! That is no way to live. I suffered from digestive issues, migraines, frequent infections, aches, pains, and even got mono at one point. The struggle was real!

Why did this happen? Because for a myriad of reasons  - including the real world responsibilities of working, raising a child, meeting expenses, taking care of the house, and all of the other demands of living - I was putting out so much energy without replenishing that I was burning out fast. Thankfully, I was able to come back from this and commit to restoring a strong foundation of healthy self-care which I now know and respect as essential for all I want to be and do! Healthy self-care doesn't stop you from that - it's the path to getting you there! 

I am so far from perfect - and I'm ok with that. As the saying goes, "Perfection is the enemy of the good." However, I do practice what I preach. I incorporate the 4 Keys to Nurture U into my life. I set healthy boundaries around my time and energy to get back into balance. I give myself enough time and space to feel like I have "breathing room." I have daily downtime to help me process the events of the day and renew my energy. I do what I need to do to feel calm, confident, and connected to the greater energy and purpose of my life. I listen to uplifting, transformational audios, including hypnosis and guided meditations. I stay hydrated and eat a well-balanced plant based diet. I enjoy mindful movement, especially my walks in the woods. Lastly, the older I get the more I realize the importance of cultivating joy, whether in the simple pleasures and tasks of daily life like relishing a nice hot shower at the end of the day or the bigger blessings of spending cherished time with family and friends - including my favorite furry feline BFF Bella. It's all GOOD! Now, isn't it time to Nurture U?

Well, I probably exceeded my intended number of words already, but suffice it to say that if I have gotten across the message that rest and healthy self-care are NOT the opposite of productivity, but rather the prerequisite, then I'm ok with that. I'm guessing that if you are still reading, then you are too.

Please let me know your thoughts on the topic. 

Also, as always, let me know if there's anything I can do to support you along the way. 

Wishing you wellness,

Mary Ellen

 

Managing the Mundane

A funny thing happened as I began this blog entry...

As I was typing in the title, I inadvertently typed "Managing the Mundance," which I believe was a serendipitous error that lends itself to even greater clarity of my message!

For as long as I can remember, I have experienced some degree of resistance and quite honestly, at times, an all-out struggle with "managing the mundane." By that, I am referring to those day in and day out chores and responsibilities that we not only should do, but in essence, we really must do, like paying bills, doing laundry, cleaning, organizing, and maintaining our living space as well as our many possessions. Failure to do these things has some ugly consequences that we would rather not deal with. Even a delay in completion or a lapse in attentiveness to these tasks can create everything from a minor irritation to a major disruption in our daily living.

This tendency was a long-standing source of stress for me, not only due to the nature of the subtle (and the not so subtle) chaos it can cause, but also because it simply doesn't fit the profile of who I know myself to be. This type of pattern is one we would expect to see in those that we consider to be lazy, sluggish, unkempt, and a myriad of other not at all flattering adjectives with perhaps the occasional expletive thrown in for good measure! Clearly, I am none of these things. Thus my distress and puzzled expression as I gazed into the mirror of self-reflection. What gives?

In the past, I always blamed this pattern on being too busy, too stressed, not having enough help, not enough time, etc. In other words, too much of this, and not enough of that. Well, as we all know, life happens. We will always be dealing with "this and that" in the many and varied ways that they are outwardly manifested in our lives. So it is time to shift from the outer to the inner perspective to literally get to the heart of the matter.

We have all heard it said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. In fact, that expression is so prevalent these days, that I hesitated to use it for fear of being dismissed as being trite. That said, anyone who has walked this earth for any length of time, and has attempted to answer the "big questions" in life, knows that it is true - even with regard to the mundane.

We do not tame the ego and strengthen the spirit in spite of the circumstances of our lives, but rather through them. We have the power to experience the deepest of transformation right here, right now - in this place, with these people, and in these circumstances.
(Don't just read those words, pause and let them sink in!)

Ah-ha! All of those expressions about life happening in the present moment finally made sense to me.

So, in the past (and yes, still at times in the present) in my inflated ego state, my quest for achievement, fame, fortune, success, wisdom, and even deeper spirituality, along with many other socially acceptable and sought after disguises that a desire for that ever-elusive sense of security and perhaps even a feeling of superiority might take, I was indeed too busy and exhausted to attend to the details of living. I was longing for non-stop fabulous adventures with family and a plethora of fascinating friends. Surely, there are more worthy uses for my time and talent than taking out the trash! And let's face it,  maybe I was even hoping or wishing that I was (or soon would be) too advanced and above dealing with the menial - AND wouldn't it be great if I WAS indeed deemed to be too good to expend my efforts on the mundane? Although certainly this is not what I would have actually verbalized or even admitted to on a conscious level, this apparently was a part of the subconscious train of thought that derailed my efforts with regard to a more balanced allocation of my time. Although time management is a multi-factored issue, I knew that I had touched on one of the deeper threads creating a pattern in my life.

Well, how's that for a personal revelation? Humbling? Yes. Humiliating? No, not if I continue to allow it to soften my way of being in the world and to use it for further growth and development. Even better, because I took a risk to share what I learned, now you can consider what truth these words might hold for you too. Words shared from the heart with a loving intention have the power to set into motion a transformative shift in thoughts, speech, and actions, and ultimately, a new direction.

The shift intended here is one of perspective. All aspects of our lives hold the transformative power of Spirit as we let go of resistance and allow our Light to shine and radiate Love into ALL we do - even the most mundane tasks of living. Through this way of "being" as we are "doing," we allow for an abundance of  grace to flow into the ordinary circumstances of our lives, and even the simplest of tasks become an opportunity for a blessing. It is only in this way, that the mundane becomes a "mundance" as we mindfully partner the physical and the spiritual to step more fully into the present moment, and since the present is where we do all of our living, this dance is truly a gift.

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U

Fool's Gold: A Goal as a Hole That You Dig

We are indeed a goal-driven society. From education, to career, to money, and all forms of success, goals are touted as the be-all and end-all on the road to achievement. Not only must goals be formulated, they must be written down succinctly and be SMART: specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timed. (There are different ways of teaching the acronym. This is the one I have taught and followed myself.)  Goals must also be periodically reviewed for progress and re-evaluation. In pursuit of our goals, we must remember that there is no failure, only feedback. And on and on goes the "coach speak" with regard to getting anywhere in life. The motivational strategies are research-based and proven to be effective. So...the message is, "Keep on keepin' on..."

But wait...!!! I have followed these formulas to the letter. I have done all I can with regard to pursuit of my goals. I am motivated. I am determined. In fact, in many cases, I have achieved the goals. Sometimes my success has been greater than I expected. My ego is stoked. My ego has been stroked. I am happy. At least for now...

Then Boom, Crash, Zap, Poof...That happiness is gone! Now what?

Back it up...

Goal setting is indeed a powerful process in climbing the ladder of success, but as it has been said, you need to be aware of where you choose to place that ladder. Otherwise, you will get to the top and simply find yourself trying to maintain your excitement and your balance on the highest rung with perhaps nowhere to go but down. That's why we all need to dig deeper to uncover our highest intentions. Otherwise, what seems like climbing the ladder of success becomes tantamount to digging ourselves into a proverbial hole. The more we try, the more we spin our wheels, the more we find ourselves stuck. It is at that point that we may become deeply embedded in the false belief that life is not fair and that all of the positive things we have read, heard, and been taught must be the ramblings of the chosen few who can afford to preach such rubbish from the comfort of their ivory towers. Lest we lose heart, be assured, there IS another way.

Many of our goals are likened to fool's gold. We dig, and we dig, and we dig our heels in further until we at last have that glistening lump of gold that we thought was a gem in our worn and blistered hands. We paid the price. Here's the prize. Oops. Not so fast. The shiny object is indeed worthless and our efforts are for naught. We only wanted the real thing. Not a cheap imitation.

Here's where we can claim the true power of manifesting our heart's desire. In order to manifest your heart's desire, you must KNOW what it is! In order to know what it is, you must be open to receiving this information. In order to be open, you must soften your stance. In order to soften your stance, you need to be present. In order to be present, you must cultivate a degree of inner peace. In order to cultivate inner peace, you must be willing to align your personality with your soul. In order to align your personality with your soul, you simply have to know and trust that it is the highest part of you that always seeks to manifest the highest good of all concerned, including you. In order to know and trust your soul, you need to choose to connect with the Great Power of the Universe that is Your Source of Being. And that brings us to the "Good News." You are already connected to Your Source.  Your Source is Pure Love and all that is Go(o)d. You are a Spark of the Divine. Therefore, there is only One Power, One Way, One Intention, and that Intention is to BE the Love that you are and seek to express that Love in all that you do in an ever-evolving upward spiral. Just choose Love and your goals, whatever they may be, will be backed by the Power of the Universe for your Best and Highest Good - all the time - Guaranteed!

So, behind all of the glitz and glamour of the image of climbing the ladder of success, you may find a multitude of haggard laborers digging deeper and deeper holes that lead them nowhere but into greater darkness and isolation. That is the aftermath of the goals of fear: Fear of failure, fear of lack, fear of being unworthy, fear of _________________________(fill in the blank). Even if you manage to reach the goal through the sweat of your brow, that same brow is soon furrowed as you ponder your next move. Surely, the next goal will be "it."

The lesson here is simply this: Beware of a goal that stems from fear no matter how noble it may appear. A goal motivated by fear will weaken and disappoint you every time. It is the ultimate fool's goal that leaves you exhausted and discouraged. You truly have a choice in this matter - no matter how far you have come or how far you feel you have left to go. You can now choose to have access to the fuel behind any goal you may set, whether it be a wellness goal such as weight loss, a career goal, a financial goal, etc. The form that your goals take will be as individualized as your journey itself. Ultimately, it is not the goal that matters. It is what fuels the goal that determines your destination as well as the quality of your experience along the way. And that, my friend, is all you really need to know. The power of your intention is the power behind your goal and you have the power to choose. 

Start now - Tap into the Ultimate Power of the Universe. 
Begin in Love.
End in Love. 
And just watch how that one decision changes everything in between.

Namaste.
It makes me smile to hold this vision for us all. Go in Peace, and Love, and Joy.

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U