The Irony of Healthy Self-Care

 

I so love this picture of me holding my sweet granddaughter. You can almost feel the intensity of the awe that I was experiencing with her in my arms! This was taken over 10 years ago and I'm still in awe of the blessing of being a grandma.

So, what does this have to do with healthy self-care? Literally everything! 

Here goes...

Nurture U is all about how to be happy, be healthy, and live a life that matters. That is the Power Triad for a successful and meaningful life. All three work together synergistically and if one of the elements is missing, it makes it more difficult to have the other two. That's why the tagline for my coaching practice since I founded the business in 2005 has been "Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity!" 

Think about this beautiful baby girl in my arms. You can see her gentle smile and her relaxed closed eyes.(Side note: look at the hand mudras. She has always struck me as a wise old soul, but I digress.) Clearly she is well fed, comfortable, and deeply contented. As a result, her emotions are calm, she is able to rest and sleep, and she is NOT NEEDY.

I don't know about you, but that sounds like an amazing state of being to me.

And guess what?

We can help ourselves to enjoy and be soothed by this same level of care too.

And the result of choosing to do so?

We too can be well fed, more comfortable, content, calm, able to rest and sleep, and perhaps the most important thing - not needy - and THAT my friend is where the irony comes in.

Oh, how many times do we think or feel that healthy self-care, rest, joyful activities, time alone in nature, etc. are somehow frivolous or God forbid even selfish! Or we give ourselves these things, sometimes out of desperation to survive day to day, but even then our beautiful acts of self love, self compassion, and self-care end up tainted with guilt or the restless feeling that we "should" be doing something else. Seriously - STOP THAT! We all need to know that it's not only OK to take good care of our body, mind, and spirit, it's actually for the best and highest good of all concerned - including us! Nurture U is not about "me first" - it's about "ME TOO!"

What is the result of this healthy self-care?

The bottom line is that as we make it a priority to give ourselves what we need to thrive, it makes us LESS SELF FOCUSED, LESS SELF CENTERED, AND LESS SELFISH. It allows us to feel our best and therefore do our best. We are able to be more present to our loved ones, our responsibilities, our jobs, etc. We feel more calm and responsive, less stressed and reactive. We have more energy. We enjoy more balance. And the list goes on...

So, the irony of healthy self-care is that it epitomizes the reality that "It's not all about you!"

Think about it. Who would YOU rather be? The tired, crabby, negative, needy person or the well rested, calm, happy, person who is able to go out and live, love, and serve. While obviously we can't control everything that contributes to being the best version of ourselves that we can be, we sure can choose what we think, say, and do. That really is up to you! You've got this!!!

Change the things YOU CAN!

The Highly Sensitive Person Label: Limitation or Liberation?

 

As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, this question is indeed near and dear to my heart! Once you "find out" you are an HSP, that is the main issue that you need to address to move from acknowledging the trait to accepting the trait. It is only then that you can learn to effectively accommodate and accentuate your inherent nature. Essentially, the HSP label is either an asset or a liability depending on how you choose to view it.

Therein lies the answer to whether the HSP label is a limitation or liberation: 

It really IS your choice!

Your decision is the difference that will make the difference. If you allow yourself to fall into a victim mentality because this is a trait you were born with and it's not going to go away, you will tend toward avoidance in life and spend a great deal of your energy working to control people, circumstances and events so as to not upset the proverbial apple cart. This is an exhausting way to live. Unfortunately, I know that from past experience. It is in fact, quite limiting!

On the other hand, the HSP label can be the best thing that has ever happened to you! Suddenly you realize why you have felt "different" all of your life, why you have been conditioned to react the way you do, and it is a terrific relief to finally know that 20% of the population can relate to your experience. You embrace this new knowledge and learn the most effective strategies for healing the past, enjoying the present, and co-creating the future. You now know that there are certain things you need to do to balance your nervous system for optimal functioning. You understand that there are ways that you will choose to practice healthy self-care that may differ from the 80% of the population that are non-HSPs and you set the healthy boundaries that allow you the time and space to do so. In other words, Hallelujah! This is what liberation looks like!

So, how can you make the empowering choice to be liberated by the HSP label? You absolutely need to heal the past in order to bring your best self into the present. This involves reframing your experiences prior to realizing you are an HSP in light of this new knowledge. This will allow you to release the negative energy and beliefs of the past and to reclaim the positive energy and beliefs in the present. It really is a beautiful thing to behold - even though there is work to be done to get there.

That's where you may benefit from seeking support. Read books about the HSP trait by reputable authors like Dr. Elaine Aron. Watch videos, read blog posts, join Facebook groups. Do what you can to realize what you feel is real. You are not alone. And most importantly - YOU ARE AWESOME!

Please contact me if I can support your journey to acknowledge, accept, accommodate, and accentuate your trait as a Highly Sensitive Person. Visit the Nurture U website for more information about Holistic Wellness Life Coaching and tapping into the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis are especially effective tools for learning how to lovingly direct your mind and therefore your life. If you have any questions, you are welcome to request a complimentary phone consultation as well.

As for me? I am so happy I chose liberation over limitation. 

I know you can too.

It's time to learn to thrive not just survive!

Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity.