Healthy Self-Care and Spirituality: A Marriage Made in Heaven

Ultimately, everything I teach and preach, whether as a meditation group facilitator, a writer, a book discussion group leader, a workshop facilitator, a motivational speaker, a Life Coach, or even as a mom, spouse, grandma, family member, friend, neighbor, co-worker, or yes, even a stranger, if it comes from my heart of hearts, is intended for the Highest Good of all concerned, including me. The Highest Good, in my mind, is to be committed to Conscious Living as we continue our daily walk along the path of the Spiritual Journey that we simply call our "Life."

So, what is the role of healthy self-care and why is it so important?

Healthy self-care truly provides the essential foundation not just for wellness, but for Conscious Living as well because without the benefit of healthy self-care, the mind and the body can become distractions or even perceived to be obstacles in the process of Transformation. As it has been said, your body is the vehicle that houses the soul and I might add, your mind is the bridge between the two. Anything you wish to manifest in this lifetime, which runs the gamut of all you wish to have, be, and do, will be manifested through the combined Wisdom and the Power of Mind, Body, and Spirit. That is true whether we are referring to attracting more money, enjoying the mutual support of loving relationships, sky-rocketing to career success, or any other aspect of living. If any one component of the triad is out of balance, it will inevitably have an effect on your entire Being. 

Let's face it, it is far more difficult to function, let alone shine, if we don't have the energy to get out of bed. How can we expect to live a life of purpose, when we are so busy and stressed that we never take a break from the hyper-beta state of the racing, thinking mind to relax, renew, and refresh? How do we purport to know what the next action steps we need to take are when we haven't even stopped long enough to even consider the direction in which we are heading at the speed of life? Can you imagine driving your car, but not taking the time or making the effort to maintain it and, at the most basic level of care, to provide the proper fuel and fluids needed for it to run smoothly and efficiently? Of course you know what would happen! We care for our cars as the vehicles that get us where we want and need to go. Well, guess what? In this lifetime, your body is your vehicle, your mind is the driver, and your Spirit is the GPS! Again, as I stated before, if one component of the triad is out of balance, it will effect your entire Being and your ability to get where you intend to go. There's no way around it.

Lastly, can you imagine thinking that it was "selfish" to allot the necessary time, money, and energy to fueling and maintaining your car? Of course not! That is absolutely ridiculous. Sit with that thought for a moment, let the analogy sink in, and I don't ever want you to question whether you should allot the necessary time, money, and energy for healthy self-care ever again. And if, for whatever reason, you still need additional prodding, here's a little Biblical wisdom to seal the deal: Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. Self-love, properly understood, is not in conflict with any Spiritual Truth - it is a foundational principle.

Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; It's a necessity. It's time to Nurture U!

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U

Be Still and Know - What is Interior Life Coaching?

"Interior Life Coaching" is the term I coined to describe the work that I do because all other terms and labels simply seemed inadequate because as I often tell people,  I am a "Different Kind of Coach with a Decidedly Different Approach."

I started out my formal training and received my designation as a Registered Corporate Coach through the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches. That is how I learned to use the art of questioning to help my clients get clear about what it is they wanted as the initial step in the process of goal setting and change. This same skill is employed throughout the coaching process as well to check progress and to assess and re-assess goals and action steps. I like the analogy of the process being like a pilot who continually monitors the flight pattern and conditions in order to arrive at the intended destination through course correction. The coaching process is an effective one. I watched many highly motivated clients soar to success in their personal and professional lives. Coaching is indeed a fabulous support for growth and change. However, I also started seeing over time that there were clients who were not as successful in achieving their goals due to the presence of limiting beliefs that were deeply ingrained in their minds and reflected in their habits and behaviors. There must be another way...

A-ha! In leafing through a local holistic publication, I remembered seeing an ad for training to become a Certified Hypnotherapist! That's it! That's the "hot ticket" to success: Help people to use the conscious mind to reprogram the subconscious mind in the direction they want it to go! Awesome! I had seen first hand the effects of the subconscious mind, sometimes referred to as the habitual or conditioned mind. In fact, I personally knew the stranglehold the subconscious mind had on me at times as one who grew up in the "far less than ideal conditions" of an alcoholic home. Through my training, I learned what I already knew which is that everything we have seen, heard, and experienced is held in the subconscious mind like a virtual storehouse for life. So, since the subconscious mind is a "goal striving mechanism" that takes direction, all we need to do is to drop down into a relaxed state, also known as the alpha level, and plug in the right commands and Voila' - change happens. Hypnosis works! I saw it time and time again! My clients were losing weight, improving their relationships, increasing their income, quitting smoking, learning to manage stress, and so much more! So, why did I think there had to be more? What was missing?

Since I already held a Bachelor's Degree, a Master's Degree, my coach designation, and hypnotherapy certification, further training was out of the question! So, why did the Yoga Teacher Training keep coming into my mind and tugging at my heart? Was it part of my calling? Was I simply a crazy, perpetual student in search of something elusive? The answer to these questions came to me in audible form, clear as a bell: This is about healing YOU. I will be forever grateful that I listened to my Inner Advisor on this one. Yoga allowed me to heal in so many ways. I learned to become more deeply present in my body and my life. I learned to step out of my ego-driven personality. I learned to breathe. I released old wounds. I restored the flow of healing, life-giving energy. I opened my heart. I learned to be more flexible - literally and figuratively. I learned to not just "relax" but rather to be still. Yoga paved the way for me to step more fully and confidently onto my Spiritual Path, which now I know, is the only way to go.

It was not until recently that I have openly claimed the Spiritual Path as the one that I now choose to walk and I can never go back. This is the path of Truth. This is the path of Power. This is the path of Joy and Peace and all that is Go(o)d! As it has been said, we truly are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. Therefore, in order to move from striving to arriving, we need to go deep. We need to go beyond the conscious and the subconscious mind to what is called the "Superconscious Mind." This is where we make conscious contact with God, Spirit, Our Inner Advisor, the Angels - whatever you choose to call your Higher Power. It is only when we regularly engage in Spiritual practices that we will find our way to the best and Highest Good for all concerned, including us! It is from this space that we confidently acknowledge our desires and choose our intentions, are inspired to take action, and affirm ourselves in the process. Without eventually taking Life to this level, we simply cannot achieve enough goals, make enough money, or accumulate enough material symbols of success to appease the longings of this insatiable "hungry ghost" and that's why anything less than allowing for the possibility for clients to move to a deeper level of healing through Spiritual Life Coaching simply left me as the one in need of "more". All the work I do facilitates positive change, but for truly life-changing holistic transformation to take place, Interior Life Coaching is the way to go.

Interior Life Coaching is a deep process of change from the inside-out. It is about tapping into the Power of the Superconscious Mind to inform the conscious mind and direct the subconscious mind. Interior Life Coaching requires a commitment on the part of clients to engage in stillness. Clients must commit to regularly engage in spiritual practices, whether in the form of centering or contemplative prayer or meditation. The so-called label and the format, method, tool, or technique to "get there" are far less important than the commitment to come to stillness. It is in the stillness that we do little, yet garner so much. It is in the stillness that we listen, we receive, we observe, we witness. It is from the stillness of Be-ing that we empower our do-ing. We plant the seeds that will yield the rich harvest. In stillness, we come to understand what it is meant by "being transformed by the renewing of the mind."

Interior Life Coaching is about Transformation, not just change. I am happy to support you in the process if you are willing to "Be Still and Know."

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U

Shift Happens! 3 Questions to Get You Back on Track!

By this point in the New Year, there are many people who begin to doubt their ability to create amazing life changes. As we all know, change is a challenge. When we set the intention to change, especially if we are sincere and the change is a worthwhile endeavor, we are also setting in motion the process to heal and clear away any thoughts, beliefs, habits, memories, experiences, and energy that keeps us "stuck" in the past. So, as the saying goes, "When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other end too."

That said, how we approach these nagging doubts or glaring fear makes all the difference in the world. Just knowing that they will surface brings a sense of relief! In working as a Life Coach, I have observed time and time again with clients from all walks of life that the biggest hurdle to overcome is the belief that once we enter the process of change with a sincere heart that it "should" be smooth sailing; and if we hit a rough patch, that "shouldn't" be happening, leaving the client to feel discouraged and ready to throw in the towel. In fact, quite honestly, it is at this point that I need to reassure my coaching clients that this is indeed "normal" and is in no way an indication that they are "defective." (The underlying fear of being "defective" is pervasive and I will address that in another article.)

So, here are the 3 questions you can use on your own or with the support of a Life Coach to get back on track...

1) What's RIGHT with me?
Yep, when we start to flounder, it is absolutely essential to start with this question. When our shadow side is looming large, we tend to focus on the negative and sometimes to the exclusion of the positive. Crazy, but true, this is the fastest way to lose momentum and start that downward spiral that leaves us feeling lower than before we set out on our new path. The longer this is allowed to continue, the lower we go, and the harder it is to make our way out and back up. Don't go there. This is the question that will keep you going in your new direction and refresh your confidence.

2) How can I take responsibility for my life and what is happening?
Clearly, this is the polar opposite of the defensive stance which seeks to blame other people and circumstances when the going gets tough. This is the question that is essential for you to retain your sense of appropriate personal power. If your energy and attention are focused on blame, you direct your life-force outward where you indeed have no control. If you keep the focus on what you can do and how you can choose to respond, you will stay within your circle of influence. This will allow you to use your energy in a truly productive manner that is far more likely to hasten your progress and help you to feel more peaceful in the process as well.

3) How can I transform this situation for my Highest Good?
All of our experiences provide us with an opportunity to learn and grow. Even those experiences that do not turn out the way we think they "should" afford us the chance to choose to become better, not bitter. If you look back on your own life from this perspective, perhaps you will be able to view some of those experiences from a higher perspective. There are so many expressions for this, such as "looking for the gift in the garbage" that point to this Truth, however, we can only come to Know it for ourselves if we are willing to open our hearts to that possibility and Trust in the Ultimate Good. I love the analogy that life is like a tapestry - all the threads of experience are ultimately woven together to create a beautiful work of art - but with our limited perspective, we are viewing it from the opposite side. Somehow, at a very deep level, that resonates in my heart and soul and I choose Faith in the process. I hope you will too.

Shift Happens!

As always, I trust these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love, and Light,
Nurture U

Creating an Integrative Energy Shift for the New Year - Part 2: The "Triple A" Avenue of Success

As we are now in the first full week of the New Year, I hope that you are enjoying the opportunity to create the Integrative Energy Shift that I wrote of in the previous post. The 4 P's of the Paradigm provide the framework and foundation for you to enjoy a New Year and a New You. In this post, we will explore the more active aspect of the 3 A's that will help to pave the avenue to success.

A-1  Attitude
It has been said that attitude is an even more powerful aspect of success than aptitude. This is clearly evident time and time again as the cream continues to rise to the top consistently and predictably.
The beauty of this quality is that our attitude is always totally within our control. As we traverse the road of life, there are indeed many detours. There will inevitably be delays, seemingly wrong turns, and plenty of unexpected and even unwanted events along the way. The fact is (and sometimes we would rather not admit it) that so many of these things will indeed be out of our control in spite of planning for progress to the best of our ability. Ironically, it is in the midst of these challenges that we can awaken and step more fully into our power as we choose our responses rather than silently acquiescing to living in the bondage of simply reacting. What was once our Achilles heel can be transformed into a confident foothold and a step in the right direction. Yep - All that from the realization that no matter what, we get to choose our attitude.

A-2 Action
Of course, nothing is going to happen until we happen to get going. While every marvelous manifestation starts as a seed that is firmly planted in good soil, we want to be good stewards as we commit to tending the seeds. Once we have a firm foundation for change and a winning attitude, we need to take inspired action to keep the energy moving. Why "inspired action"? Because even as we set about to bring our dreams to fruition, we need to continue to check in with ourselves to ensure that we are acting for the highest good. Otherwise, action can become an ego-driven, exhausting effort that leads us down the wrong road. Action driven by ego leads to burn-out rather than the joy and fulfillment that can be ours from the merging of head and heart in purposeful productivity. Trust me, joy is a highly sensitive and reliable instrument for gauging success. Don't fall prey to the belief that life must be a perpetual race and struggle to the finish line. Not every moment will be spent in Nirvana, but when you choose to act from inspiration, things will change. You may be doing the same job, the same activities, and be around the same people, but if you truly connect with the deeper motivation for why you do what you do, it changes the energy you bring into action and transforms your experience. I dare you to head for more joy. You can thank me later.

A-3 Affirmation
Sometimes I feel that the subject of "doing affirmations" has been so distorted by those purporting to help you to radically change your life in 3-7 easy steps or days or whatever, that I almost hesitated to include this important information. However, we do need to use the power of affirmation on the road to success. We need to affirm not just the new creation we are in the process of becoming, we need to affirm ourselves in the process. This can get a little tricky as I have learned firsthand coaching so many people to positive change. Again, in order to effect truly lasting change, we need to once again engage both the head and the heart to ensure we are acting in our own best interest. By that, I do not mean that we act in the ways of the world to protect ourselves, to strive to arrive at bigger, better, faster, and more, more, more. I mean that we are affirming at all times what we know to be the Truth of what is in our best interest from the perspective of our souls. (By soul, I am referring to the holistic, transpersonal nature that comprises your entire being yet goes beyond it as well. The soul is a term hard to define in the context of this post. Suffice it to say it is the Real You.) We need to affirm what we know to be a higher level of self-realization. We need to Trust that as we act for our highest good, that it is for the highest good of all those around us as well. When we act for our highest good, we are being of service by radiating who we are just by being who we are and this is the impact we have on the universe. This is our legacy. So, affirm who you ARE in the process of change and what you are willing to do, to choose, to release, to be. This may be an area you want additional support for in order to choose the affirmations that resonate the energy of change, yet does not create a conflict. Yes, this is tricky, but I am more than happy to act as your guide and assist. Be open to seeking support as needed. (Don't be stubborn on this one, ya hear me? Seeking support is not a sign of weakness. It is a commitment to strengthen all that you have. Believe me, I know!)

Well, congratulations! If you read Part 1 and Part 2 of Creating an Integrative Energy Shift in the New Year, you have given yourself a valuable gift. You are now empowered with the complete picture of the Nurture U perspective on how to condition your mind, body, and spirit for success in this New Year! As someone who has used this approach with countless clients, it is my privilege to share it with you. It brings me great joy just knowing that we have connected through the power of the written word. I wish you the very best as you continue the journey.

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love, and Light,
Nurture U

Creating an Integrative Energy Shift for the New Year (and Every Day!) Part 1: The P4 Paradigm for Change

The P4 Paradigm is the foundation of how to condition your mind, body, and spirit to create and sustain the changes you wish to make in the New Year or at anytime. This powerful format emerged from years of working with life coaching clients and wellness program participants. It has been developed from extensive knowledge and training in education and the social sciences as well as the less traditional fields of life coaching, hypnotherapy, yoga, and meditation. This paradigm is holistic in nature and reflects ancient wisdom that spans a myriad of traditions and is now increasingly backed by scientific research. We live in an exciting time of growth and change. Embrace this knowledge to empower yourself to dare to lead a life of greater joy and fulfillment. It is my hope that you will use this paradigm as a structural framework of support throughout your continuing journey of self-realization.

P1 - Positive

Whatever your intention is for your life, you must learn to focus your attention in a positive manner on what it is that you DO want to be, do, and have in your life. So much time and energy is wasted on complaining and focusing on what we don't want to be, do, or have which is not only counter-productive, but it is downright draining as well. We need to acknowledge our present reality as what has been created by the past and not as our life sentence for the future. Ironically, the most significant error most people make in "trying to be positive" is not knowing how to handle the negative. We need to allow for that which we consider to be negative to be brought into our conscious awareness without any resistance on our part. To deny negativity creates resistance and resistance blocks the flow of positive energy. One of the biggest problems that can come from this is that by denying the negative thoughts and feelings, we do not release them or lessen their impact, we simply send them "underground" where they fester and foster a free-floating fear and sap our energy, our life force, our strength. It is far better to spend time in meditation and simply allow those thoughts, feelings, and sensations to float like clouds across the calm background of what I call the "Blue Sky Mind" - you notice them, acknowledge them, and let them pass by. This will indeed free your mind and your energy to be more fully present to manifest your positive intentions. Positive energy flows naturally and freely if it is not blocked or diverted. Enlisting the help and support of a trusted healer, life coach, meditation teacher, or even guided meditation audios can aid you in this process.

P2 - Persistent

Persistence is the key to whether or not your intentions and resolutions "stick." How many times have you resolved to eat right, exercise, meditate daily, get organized, or ______________ (fill in the blank with any resolution you have made) and found that by the 2nd week (or let's face it - sometimes the 2nd day or let's be really honest - the 2nd hour) your resolution crashed and burned in the face of temptation or lethargy or whatever! That phenomenon comes from clinging to the fantasy that change happens all at once or that it should be easy. To cling to that fantasy is a recipe for disaster. Change takes persistence. Change takes time. Change is a process, not a one-time event. Change is challenging - Period. Sorry to burst the bubble of illusion, but that is part of my job as a life coach. I support you in making change by helping you embrace the truth. Now, here's the good news: Change is Fabulous! People create positive changes all the time and you can too! Just allow yourself the time, the space, the gentleness, the support, and the joy to bring it about. There are so many things you can do to keep yourself on track and focused. Stay open to the tools and techniques that work best for you. Enlist the support of people who radiate positive energy and will help you to hold your vision for change.

P3 - Pervasive

In order for a resolution or intention to be manifested into reality, you need to check the "ecology" of the goal. In other words, what effect will this intention have on other areas of your life? How will your goal impact your energy level, your relationships, your home, your career, your time, your finances, etc.? These are essential to consider and to include into your underlying motivation to allow your intention to be expansive, to grow, to encompass and have a positive effect not only on you, but on your entire life as well. A good life coach can help you in this regard by asking the questions that will elicit the information needed to reframe your goals to have the greatest impact on your life. This is part of what makes change so fabulous! It turns a personal resolution into a revolution.

P4 - Peaceful

Here's the kicker: Change is challenging, but it does not need to create distress. Distress comes from the stories that we tell ourselves about who we are and what we should do. Distress comes from not following intuitive guidance. Distress comes from trying to force outcomes that are not in alignment with our highest good. Distress comes from ignoring the inner voice. Distress comes from not taking action in the direction of our calling. Distress, distress, and more distress. The antidote to distress is simply to come from a place of peace. It is in the silence of our minds and hearts that we have access to our highest intentions, our next step, inspired action plans, and the affirmation of our direction. Without allowing ourselves to rest and relax in the alpha state of mind, we simply cannot function at our highest level. We all must carve out the time for meditation, quiet contemplation and reflection, and calming activities that get us out of a driven state of being and into the power of being the driving force in our lives.  Peacefulness is not the opposite of productivity; it is a pre-requisite. Find the tools, techniques, teachers, and texts that will bring help you connect with your inner peace. Again and again, we will come back to the need for peace in the process of change.

(Part 2 in this series will focus on the Triple-A Avenue of Success.)

As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and highest good.

With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U