True confessions...
I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Yesterday seemed especially difficult to navigate, yet I wasn't quite sure why. I just knew that I was feeling more tired than usual and definitely less motivated, yet not because of a lack of sleep or not practicing healthy self-care. This was different. This was more of a soul tired. Perhaps you can relate?
I think that this funk has been coming and going and in a sense even building over the last four months. It has been mostly subtle and at times even stealthy, and that's a big part of why it often goes unnoticed. Well, that and the fact that I truly have so many blessings to be eternally grateful for: my family, my friends, my business, my home, my health, my resources, and the list goes on. So, when I would feel myself sliding down the slippery slope of distress, I would immediately switch to gratitude for all the wonderful people and circumstances of my life. Sounds like a great strategy to refocus attention, doesn't it?
But hold on a minute. Was I practicing authentic heartfelt gratitude OR was I trying to ignore the not-so-great things that were happening? Hmmmmmm...I'll let you decide.
Some things I acknowledged. For example, last week, I sent out not one, but four sympathy cards! Add to that the fact that my sweet sister-in-law is nearing the end of her struggle with brain cancer. It's only a matter of waiting now. There's nothing more to do. That's enough to explain the funk, but even that wasn't all of it. I woke up this morning in that funk again, but this time it was more at the surface just waiting for release. So, release it I did.
I got up before my husband and he joined me for our morning coffee. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. He asked what was going on and I knew I had to let it out. It started out as talking about my frustration with things not getting done around the house. From there it progressed to feeling frustrated with other issues until I hit on the "big ones" - the pandemic, the political climate, the racial tensions, the violence - all the really major things that are happening around us that we truly have no control over. And that's when the tears started to flow. It wasn't just frustration over it all, it was truly a deep grief - grief as a feeling of loss for the way life was just four months ago. I am not saying things were perfect or that changes are not needed, I'm just saying that for better and for worse, things will seemingly never be the same. I don't know what the future holds. No one does. No one EVER knows, but somehow when things are going smoothly, there's that part of us that believes we are somehow the exception and that we are somehow in control. But, we're not.
So, now what?
Well, after getting down to feeling, expressing, and through tears - releasing the core emotion of grief, I am ready to move on from here. The problems are still there, but instead of feeling the intense weight of them bearing down on my mind, body, and spirit, I have created a new, healthier relationship with those problems. I am reminded and possess a more embodied knowing that life is in fact a largely unpredictable mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly, but now that's ok again. And I know I'm ok. And I know that all that muck can co-exist with gratitude rather than be opposed to it. And today is another day and another chance to make a difference in the world. It may just be in my small corner of reality, but that's ok too. That's life.
I CAN CONTROL my words and my actions. I can make choices that add to the Peace, Love, and Joy in this world. Yes, I can do this, but NOT if my energy is all tied up at any level of denial or getting stuck in any version of the oh so familiar refrain of "This shouldn't be happening" because the truth of the matter is that it is.
I will close by sharing an analogy that came to me years ago about having a meltdown. Candle wax has to be in it's liquefied form in order to be shaped and molded into a beautiful candle that has the capability of bringing a soft light into the darkness. So, next time you have a meltdown, as I did just this morning, don't think of it as a negative thing. Re-frame it as an opportunity to mold yourself anew so that you too can bring yourself, your talents, energy, and resources more fully into this world and to shine even more brightly than you did before.
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt. it really is better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness. Amen to that!
Thursday, July 23, 2020
Friday, April 17, 2020
Love or Fear?
It has been a long time since I sat down to write a post. Actually, I was rather shocked to see it has been 6 years! Time flies, huh? It's good to be back.
We are certainly living in the strangest time I have ever been through in all my years on this planet. The world is experiencing an unprecedented "Global Pause" as it has been called. And hey, that sure sounds better than Lockdown. So much is happening around us it's hard to even process. Some of what is happening is horrific, like all the lives lost due to the pandemic as well as all the collateral damage due to businesses being shut down, people laid off, economic challenges, and the shortages of food and supplies. I think when this is over we will all appreciate the availability of toilet paper in a whole new light!
At the same time, there are some silver linings in all of this. For example, there has been a significant change in the level of pollution. There are people who are slowing down enough to reconnect with the family they live with and through technology with those near and far. I've seen people out walking more. I've heard of family game nights and dance parties. People are engaging with life from a simpler, less materialistic perspective.
In other words, life is handing us a mixed bag as it always does, but in this time of a pandemic, the bag contains elements that are far less common since they are generally found only at the extremes.
That said, FEAR is everywhere. In fact, when I do leave the house for necessities or for my walks in nature, it is palpable. As I get in my car and start backing out of the driveway, it's as if my mind goes into a hyper-vigilant state just waiting for whatever may lurk around every corner. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
And then, I remember to breathe. Breathe. Pause. Recenter. Calm down. Relax. All that stress and worry won't accomplish a thing. In fact, it will simply serve to put my body into fight or flight survival mode. My energy will contract. My mood will darken. But the worst thing that can happen, and in fact will if I continue to be sucked into the mire of fear, is that I will hamper my immune system just when perhaps I need it the most. That's right, as Dr. Bruce Lipton has explained in his amazing book The Biology of Belief, we can be in one of two states, either growth and repair OR in survival mode. We can't be in both at the same time.
Now lest you think over the past 6 years I have taken on a Debbie Downer persona, I have not. I'm just sharing what I think we all go through whether we admit it or not. When we feel threatened, whether by the current challenges related to the coronavirus, or whether we react to some other trigger, it doesn't matter. Fear is fear and it creates the same body chemistry even if the so called threat is simply in our imagination. Fear needs to be acknowledged rather than denied. Sometimes fear contains a message of something we really do need to pay attention to that is actually actionable.
For example, if you have been ignoring healthy self-care, eating lots of sugar and fat, not getting enough sleep, etc. and you fear you may be placing yourself more at risk well...perhaps you are. But don't just stay locked in fear. Change the things you can.
If however, your fear is about something in the past that can't be changed or in the future that can't be controlled, once acknowledged, the fear must be let go. I know. I can literally hear you saying, "Easier said than done" and just to be clear I agree. That's why we need a new way to look at fear.
Anyone who has read my writings knows that I love a good acronym. The acronym I have heard in the past for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Definitely a good one, but somehow I needed something else. And that's when it came to me in a moment of silent prayer.
FEAR: Face Everything And Rise!
(Not coincidentally I'm sure, this came to me during the season of Lent, just prior to Easter.)
Face Everything And Rise! <- Brilliant if I say so myself.
Why? Because it is such a beautiful statement about our capabilities.
Life is good, but is is NOT always easy. In fact, due to illness, pain, loss, aging, and death, there is a lot to contend with BUT with trust in the power of Love, we are up to the task. The greatest suffering comes when we succumb to the thought that "this shouldn't be happening" or the other devastating thought, "I can't handle it." Now, THAT is when fear triggers suffering and gets the upper hand.
There is no greater power in all the universe than LOVE. In fact, that which appears to be other than Love is merely a denial of love. Love Always Wins - another acronym - because that's the LAW. We might not readily see it, but it is true. I was listening to a talk this morning by my friend James Twyman and he said quite simply, "Truth is truth. Love is love." <- Love that. It's a fact. Thanks James for being one who embodies that message. You are an inspiration to us all.
The other apparent lack of Love manifests when we have a lack of trust in Love. This can often occur because we fail to see ourselves as channels of Love rather than as the Source of Love. If you try to be the source of Love, you will find yourself exhausted. But the Good News is that Love is unlimited and always available for us to tap into if we have the willingness to call on grace and allow ourselves to be instruments of that beautiful divine energy. Yes, we need to say Yes and that takes some quiet and a pause.
Oh, guess what? Now might just be the perfect time for transformation. So much of what we have been too busy or distracted with may have kept us in the not so comfortable comfort zone and now we have been thrust into what seems most days to be a weird alternate reality that for now we need to call home. So, what now?
Face Everything And Rise! Rise to the occasion. Rise to a higher level of consciousness with which to deal with people, circumstances and events. Rise to the choice of Love over fear in everything you do. This is what will ultimately serve to either strengthen or weaken you. It is NOT what you do, it is the energy with which you do it!
A timely example is people wearing masks in public. Some people wearing masks look absolutely terrified and it is clear they are wearing them strictly out of fear. Other people look your way, and even if you can't see their mouths, you can tell they are smiling. You can see it in their eyes. They are wearing a mask out of Love - Love for others as well as themselves. It's the same with social distancing. It is what we have been asked to do. You can see the people who do so in fear, but yet we can leave the same 6 feet between us out of Love. It truly changes everything.
Choose this day which energy you will serve for it will be your Master.
Will it be Love or will it be fear? You get to choose.
You can choose to live in fear or Face Everything And Rise!
Choose Love and rise you will!
But don't take my word for it. You have to put this into action. It's not a one time choice either. We have to keep choosing Love moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. By repeatedly choosing Love, we can make it a more natural, conscious choice that becomes more habitual. No, we will never get it "right" all the time and we may even screw things up. But that's ok. We just need to choose again. I think that's why my favorite line of the Bible is "Behold I make all things new.' What a beautiful, merciful world we live in if we can call on Love to hold and guide us.
So, with that I will leave you with yet another acronym - this time for LOVE:
LOVE is a Life Of Vibrant Energy.
Ah yes...take me to that river.
Be well. Be blessed.
With Love,
Mary Ellen
We are certainly living in the strangest time I have ever been through in all my years on this planet. The world is experiencing an unprecedented "Global Pause" as it has been called. And hey, that sure sounds better than Lockdown. So much is happening around us it's hard to even process. Some of what is happening is horrific, like all the lives lost due to the pandemic as well as all the collateral damage due to businesses being shut down, people laid off, economic challenges, and the shortages of food and supplies. I think when this is over we will all appreciate the availability of toilet paper in a whole new light!
At the same time, there are some silver linings in all of this. For example, there has been a significant change in the level of pollution. There are people who are slowing down enough to reconnect with the family they live with and through technology with those near and far. I've seen people out walking more. I've heard of family game nights and dance parties. People are engaging with life from a simpler, less materialistic perspective.
In other words, life is handing us a mixed bag as it always does, but in this time of a pandemic, the bag contains elements that are far less common since they are generally found only at the extremes.
That said, FEAR is everywhere. In fact, when I do leave the house for necessities or for my walks in nature, it is palpable. As I get in my car and start backing out of the driveway, it's as if my mind goes into a hyper-vigilant state just waiting for whatever may lurk around every corner. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
And then, I remember to breathe. Breathe. Pause. Recenter. Calm down. Relax. All that stress and worry won't accomplish a thing. In fact, it will simply serve to put my body into fight or flight survival mode. My energy will contract. My mood will darken. But the worst thing that can happen, and in fact will if I continue to be sucked into the mire of fear, is that I will hamper my immune system just when perhaps I need it the most. That's right, as Dr. Bruce Lipton has explained in his amazing book The Biology of Belief, we can be in one of two states, either growth and repair OR in survival mode. We can't be in both at the same time.
Now lest you think over the past 6 years I have taken on a Debbie Downer persona, I have not. I'm just sharing what I think we all go through whether we admit it or not. When we feel threatened, whether by the current challenges related to the coronavirus, or whether we react to some other trigger, it doesn't matter. Fear is fear and it creates the same body chemistry even if the so called threat is simply in our imagination. Fear needs to be acknowledged rather than denied. Sometimes fear contains a message of something we really do need to pay attention to that is actually actionable.
For example, if you have been ignoring healthy self-care, eating lots of sugar and fat, not getting enough sleep, etc. and you fear you may be placing yourself more at risk well...perhaps you are. But don't just stay locked in fear. Change the things you can.
If however, your fear is about something in the past that can't be changed or in the future that can't be controlled, once acknowledged, the fear must be let go. I know. I can literally hear you saying, "Easier said than done" and just to be clear I agree. That's why we need a new way to look at fear.
Anyone who has read my writings knows that I love a good acronym. The acronym I have heard in the past for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Definitely a good one, but somehow I needed something else. And that's when it came to me in a moment of silent prayer.
FEAR: Face Everything And Rise!
(Not coincidentally I'm sure, this came to me during the season of Lent, just prior to Easter.)
Face Everything And Rise! <- Brilliant if I say so myself.
Why? Because it is such a beautiful statement about our capabilities.
Life is good, but is is NOT always easy. In fact, due to illness, pain, loss, aging, and death, there is a lot to contend with BUT with trust in the power of Love, we are up to the task. The greatest suffering comes when we succumb to the thought that "this shouldn't be happening" or the other devastating thought, "I can't handle it." Now, THAT is when fear triggers suffering and gets the upper hand.
There is no greater power in all the universe than LOVE. In fact, that which appears to be other than Love is merely a denial of love. Love Always Wins - another acronym - because that's the LAW. We might not readily see it, but it is true. I was listening to a talk this morning by my friend James Twyman and he said quite simply, "Truth is truth. Love is love." <- Love that. It's a fact. Thanks James for being one who embodies that message. You are an inspiration to us all.
The other apparent lack of Love manifests when we have a lack of trust in Love. This can often occur because we fail to see ourselves as channels of Love rather than as the Source of Love. If you try to be the source of Love, you will find yourself exhausted. But the Good News is that Love is unlimited and always available for us to tap into if we have the willingness to call on grace and allow ourselves to be instruments of that beautiful divine energy. Yes, we need to say Yes and that takes some quiet and a pause.
Oh, guess what? Now might just be the perfect time for transformation. So much of what we have been too busy or distracted with may have kept us in the not so comfortable comfort zone and now we have been thrust into what seems most days to be a weird alternate reality that for now we need to call home. So, what now?
Face Everything And Rise! Rise to the occasion. Rise to a higher level of consciousness with which to deal with people, circumstances and events. Rise to the choice of Love over fear in everything you do. This is what will ultimately serve to either strengthen or weaken you. It is NOT what you do, it is the energy with which you do it!
A timely example is people wearing masks in public. Some people wearing masks look absolutely terrified and it is clear they are wearing them strictly out of fear. Other people look your way, and even if you can't see their mouths, you can tell they are smiling. You can see it in their eyes. They are wearing a mask out of Love - Love for others as well as themselves. It's the same with social distancing. It is what we have been asked to do. You can see the people who do so in fear, but yet we can leave the same 6 feet between us out of Love. It truly changes everything.
Choose this day which energy you will serve for it will be your Master.
Will it be Love or will it be fear? You get to choose.
You can choose to live in fear or Face Everything And Rise!
Choose Love and rise you will!
But don't take my word for it. You have to put this into action. It's not a one time choice either. We have to keep choosing Love moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. By repeatedly choosing Love, we can make it a more natural, conscious choice that becomes more habitual. No, we will never get it "right" all the time and we may even screw things up. But that's ok. We just need to choose again. I think that's why my favorite line of the Bible is "Behold I make all things new.' What a beautiful, merciful world we live in if we can call on Love to hold and guide us.
So, with that I will leave you with yet another acronym - this time for LOVE:
LOVE is a Life Of Vibrant Energy.
Ah yes...take me to that river.
Be well. Be blessed.
With Love,
Mary Ellen
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Managing the Mundane
A funny thing happened as I began this blog entry...
As I was typing in the title, I inadvertently typed "Managing the Mundance," which I believe was a serendipitous error that lends itself to even greater clarity of my message!
For as long as I can remember, I have experienced some degree of resistance and quite honestly, at times, an all-out struggle with "managing the mundane." By that, I am referring to those day in and day out chores and responsibilities that we not only should do, but in essence, we really must do, like paying bills, doing laundry, cleaning, organizing, and maintaining our living space as well as our many possessions. Failure to do these things has some ugly consequences that we would rather not deal with. Even a delay in completion or a lapse in attentiveness to these tasks can create everything from a minor irritation to a major disruption in our daily living.
This tendency was a long-standing source of stress for me, not only due to the nature of the subtle (and the not so subtle) chaos it can cause, but also because it simply doesn't fit the profile of who I know myself to be. This type of pattern is one we would expect to see in those that we consider to be lazy, sluggish, unkempt, and a myriad of other not at all flattering adjectives with perhaps the occasional expletive thrown in for good measure! Clearly, I am none of these things. Thus my distress and puzzled expression as I gazed into the mirror of self-reflection. What gives?
In the past, I always blamed this pattern on being too busy, too stressed, not having enough help, not enough time, etc. In other words, too much of this, and not enough of that. Well, as we all know, life happens. We will always be dealing with "this and that" in the many and varied ways that they are outwardly manifested in our lives. So it is time to shift from the outer to the inner perspective to literally get to the heart of the matter.
We have all heard it said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. In fact, that expression is so prevalent these days, that I hesitated to use it for fear of being dismissed as being trite. That said, anyone who has walked this earth for any length of time, and has attempted to answer the "big questions" in life, knows that it is true - even with regard to the mundane.
We do not tame the ego and strengthen the spirit in spite of the circumstances of our lives, but rather through them. We have the power to experience the deepest of transformation right here, right now - in this place, with these people, and in these circumstances.
(Don't just read those words, pause and let them sink in!)
Ah-ha! All of those expressions about life happening in the present moment finally made sense to me.
So, in the past (and yes, still at times in the present) in my inflated ego state, my quest for achievement, fame, fortune, success, wisdom, and even deeper spirituality, along with many other socially acceptable and sought after disguises that a desire for that ever-elusive sense of security and perhaps even a feeling of superiority might take, I was indeed too busy and exhausted to attend to the details of living. I was longing for non-stop fabulous adventures with family and a plethora of fascinating friends. Surely, there are more worthy uses for my time and talent than taking out the trash! And let's face it, maybe I was even hoping or wishing that I was (or soon would be) too advanced and above dealing with the menial - AND wouldn't it be great if I WAS indeed deemed to be too good to expend my efforts on the mundane? Although certainly this is not what I would have actually verbalized or even admitted to on a conscious level, this apparently was a part of the subconscious train of thought that derailed my efforts with regard to a more balanced allocation of my time. Although time management is a multi-factored issue, I knew that I had touched on one of the deeper threads creating a pattern in my life.
Well, how's that for a personal revelation? Humbling? Yes. Humiliating? No, not if I continue to allow it to soften my way of being in the world and to use it for further growth and development. Even better, because I took a risk to share what I learned, now you can consider what truth these words might hold for you too. Words shared from the heart with a loving intention have the power to set into motion a transformative shift in thoughts, speech, and actions, and ultimately, a new direction.
The shift intended here is one of perspective. All aspects of our lives hold the transformative power of Spirit as we let go of resistance and allow our Light to shine and radiate Love into ALL we do - even the most mundane tasks of living. Through this way of "being" as we are "doing," we allow for an abundance of grace to flow into the ordinary circumstances of our lives, and even the simplest of tasks become an opportunity for a blessing. It is only in this way, that the mundane becomes a "mundance" as we mindfully partner the physical and the spiritual to step more fully into the present moment, and since the present is where we do all of our living, this dance is truly a gift.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
As I was typing in the title, I inadvertently typed "Managing the Mundance," which I believe was a serendipitous error that lends itself to even greater clarity of my message!
For as long as I can remember, I have experienced some degree of resistance and quite honestly, at times, an all-out struggle with "managing the mundane." By that, I am referring to those day in and day out chores and responsibilities that we not only should do, but in essence, we really must do, like paying bills, doing laundry, cleaning, organizing, and maintaining our living space as well as our many possessions. Failure to do these things has some ugly consequences that we would rather not deal with. Even a delay in completion or a lapse in attentiveness to these tasks can create everything from a minor irritation to a major disruption in our daily living.
This tendency was a long-standing source of stress for me, not only due to the nature of the subtle (and the not so subtle) chaos it can cause, but also because it simply doesn't fit the profile of who I know myself to be. This type of pattern is one we would expect to see in those that we consider to be lazy, sluggish, unkempt, and a myriad of other not at all flattering adjectives with perhaps the occasional expletive thrown in for good measure! Clearly, I am none of these things. Thus my distress and puzzled expression as I gazed into the mirror of self-reflection. What gives?
In the past, I always blamed this pattern on being too busy, too stressed, not having enough help, not enough time, etc. In other words, too much of this, and not enough of that. Well, as we all know, life happens. We will always be dealing with "this and that" in the many and varied ways that they are outwardly manifested in our lives. So it is time to shift from the outer to the inner perspective to literally get to the heart of the matter.
We have all heard it said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. In fact, that expression is so prevalent these days, that I hesitated to use it for fear of being dismissed as being trite. That said, anyone who has walked this earth for any length of time, and has attempted to answer the "big questions" in life, knows that it is true - even with regard to the mundane.
We do not tame the ego and strengthen the spirit in spite of the circumstances of our lives, but rather through them. We have the power to experience the deepest of transformation right here, right now - in this place, with these people, and in these circumstances.
(Don't just read those words, pause and let them sink in!)
Ah-ha! All of those expressions about life happening in the present moment finally made sense to me.
So, in the past (and yes, still at times in the present) in my inflated ego state, my quest for achievement, fame, fortune, success, wisdom, and even deeper spirituality, along with many other socially acceptable and sought after disguises that a desire for that ever-elusive sense of security and perhaps even a feeling of superiority might take, I was indeed too busy and exhausted to attend to the details of living. I was longing for non-stop fabulous adventures with family and a plethora of fascinating friends. Surely, there are more worthy uses for my time and talent than taking out the trash! And let's face it, maybe I was even hoping or wishing that I was (or soon would be) too advanced and above dealing with the menial - AND wouldn't it be great if I WAS indeed deemed to be too good to expend my efforts on the mundane? Although certainly this is not what I would have actually verbalized or even admitted to on a conscious level, this apparently was a part of the subconscious train of thought that derailed my efforts with regard to a more balanced allocation of my time. Although time management is a multi-factored issue, I knew that I had touched on one of the deeper threads creating a pattern in my life.
Well, how's that for a personal revelation? Humbling? Yes. Humiliating? No, not if I continue to allow it to soften my way of being in the world and to use it for further growth and development. Even better, because I took a risk to share what I learned, now you can consider what truth these words might hold for you too. Words shared from the heart with a loving intention have the power to set into motion a transformative shift in thoughts, speech, and actions, and ultimately, a new direction.
The shift intended here is one of perspective. All aspects of our lives hold the transformative power of Spirit as we let go of resistance and allow our Light to shine and radiate Love into ALL we do - even the most mundane tasks of living. Through this way of "being" as we are "doing," we allow for an abundance of grace to flow into the ordinary circumstances of our lives, and even the simplest of tasks become an opportunity for a blessing. It is only in this way, that the mundane becomes a "mundance" as we mindfully partner the physical and the spiritual to step more fully into the present moment, and since the present is where we do all of our living, this dance is truly a gift.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
Thursday, July 3, 2014
What is YOUR Declaration of Independence?
Let's face it, in spite of the myriad of differences, the truth is that we all share the same goal.
We all want freedom.
Freedom from and freedom to.
Let me explain...
When I was going through my coach training, one of the things I learned is how to skillfully ask clients a series of questions in order to help them to gain greater clarity with regard to the goals that they intend to achieve. However, even more important than helping clients to identify goals is the need to elicit the deeper want behind the goal. The deeper want is what provides us with the motivation to keep moving toward the goal in spite of the inevitable bumps we will encounter. That's just the way it is.
(Trust me, if the road to success was that easy, we would run into a lot more traffic on the way!)
So, after working with hundreds and hundreds of clients, I can honestly say that all goals come down to a desire for freedom - no matter what that goal may look like on the surface.
Also, all goals are about "freedom from" and "freedom to."
In other words, you need to get clear in answering this question:
What is it that you want less of in your life and what is it that you want more of?
It all comes down to that.
(This sounds very simple and in many ways it is. What gets complicated is when either we aren't sure of the deeper want or when we run into limiting thoughts and beliefs that have been "downloaded" over the years that are in conflict with the goals we have chosen. Again, this process varies greatly from person to person. Essentially, that's why Holistic Wellness Life Coaching is individualized and goes beyond traditional coaching methods to include guided meditation and imagery.)
To illustrate the point, here is a powerful example that many can relate to. One of the most common issues I work with is weight loss. This is clearly an issue that is deeper than it appears on the surface. No one really seeks coaching because the goal is to eat healthy and exercise! That is the ACTION that must be taken consistently over time to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.
To confuse the action with the goal is the #1 way to literally kill your motivation, yet so many people approach change that way. It simply does not work.
Weight loss is about freedom!
Freedom from:
Chronic pain caused by excess pressure on the joints
Medical issues, time, and the cost of care for conditions caused or exacerbated by excess weight
Low self-esteem associated with feeling out of control of one's habits
Feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious in your own body
(And the list goes on and on and on and varies from person to person...)
Freedom to:
Perform daily activities with greater ease
Enjoy a higher level of energy for all you do
Play, dance, go to the beach, etc. with loved ones and friends
Wear clothes that fit and feel fabulous
Eat to live, not live to eat
(And again, this list goes on and on and on and varies from person to person...)
Weight loss is just one example. Your desire for freedom may manifest itself with regard to any number of things including, but not limited to, expressing your creativity, increasing your income and financial security, buying the house or boat or car of your dreams, going on the vacation of a lifetime, changing careers, learning to sing, etc. etc. etc.
Your Declaration of Independence is the first step that will lead you to your goal of being more, doing more, and having more of what you want in life. It's all about abundant living at its finest. It's all about freedom.
What is YOUR Declaration of Independence?
What is it YOU want to enjoy freedom from or freedom to?
Most importantly, how and when are you going to start your revolution?
Now is the perfect time. Now is the only time.
Start today.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
We all want freedom.
Freedom from and freedom to.
Let me explain...
When I was going through my coach training, one of the things I learned is how to skillfully ask clients a series of questions in order to help them to gain greater clarity with regard to the goals that they intend to achieve. However, even more important than helping clients to identify goals is the need to elicit the deeper want behind the goal. The deeper want is what provides us with the motivation to keep moving toward the goal in spite of the inevitable bumps we will encounter. That's just the way it is.
(Trust me, if the road to success was that easy, we would run into a lot more traffic on the way!)
So, after working with hundreds and hundreds of clients, I can honestly say that all goals come down to a desire for freedom - no matter what that goal may look like on the surface.
Also, all goals are about "freedom from" and "freedom to."
In other words, you need to get clear in answering this question:
What is it that you want less of in your life and what is it that you want more of?
It all comes down to that.
(This sounds very simple and in many ways it is. What gets complicated is when either we aren't sure of the deeper want or when we run into limiting thoughts and beliefs that have been "downloaded" over the years that are in conflict with the goals we have chosen. Again, this process varies greatly from person to person. Essentially, that's why Holistic Wellness Life Coaching is individualized and goes beyond traditional coaching methods to include guided meditation and imagery.)
To illustrate the point, here is a powerful example that many can relate to. One of the most common issues I work with is weight loss. This is clearly an issue that is deeper than it appears on the surface. No one really seeks coaching because the goal is to eat healthy and exercise! That is the ACTION that must be taken consistently over time to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.
To confuse the action with the goal is the #1 way to literally kill your motivation, yet so many people approach change that way. It simply does not work.
Weight loss is about freedom!
Freedom from:
Chronic pain caused by excess pressure on the joints
Medical issues, time, and the cost of care for conditions caused or exacerbated by excess weight
Low self-esteem associated with feeling out of control of one's habits
Feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious in your own body
(And the list goes on and on and on and varies from person to person...)
Freedom to:
Perform daily activities with greater ease
Enjoy a higher level of energy for all you do
Play, dance, go to the beach, etc. with loved ones and friends
Wear clothes that fit and feel fabulous
Eat to live, not live to eat
(And again, this list goes on and on and on and varies from person to person...)
Weight loss is just one example. Your desire for freedom may manifest itself with regard to any number of things including, but not limited to, expressing your creativity, increasing your income and financial security, buying the house or boat or car of your dreams, going on the vacation of a lifetime, changing careers, learning to sing, etc. etc. etc.
Your Declaration of Independence is the first step that will lead you to your goal of being more, doing more, and having more of what you want in life. It's all about abundant living at its finest. It's all about freedom.
What is YOUR Declaration of Independence?
What is it YOU want to enjoy freedom from or freedom to?
Most importantly, how and when are you going to start your revolution?
Now is the perfect time. Now is the only time.
Start today.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Who You Are as What You Do - Heal the Energy Reversal and Come Back to Life
There are times in life when we find that we are living in reverse. It is at those times that our energy is scrambled and we are quite literally doing things backwards. So, in that spirit, it only makes sense that I will address this issue in the same manner. Let's start with the end in mind.
Here's what you ultimately need to know: Who You ARE is the Energy that you can choose to consciously align yourself with and allow to be the determining factor in What You DO. It is NOT the other way around if you want to live a Life of Vibrant Energy, Joy, and Peace. You can choose to live that way in hot pursuit of those things, but you will end up exhausted as it is not a sustainable way of life. To do so is to mistakenly turn Gifts into goals and to place those things at the finish line rather than embracing them as the Source of All that is Good.
Who are you? There are a myriad of ways to answer this question from the surface and share such things as name, marital status, age, gender, job title, family roles, religious and other affiliations, hobbies, etc. But, that's not who you really are, is it?
Ask the question again, this time addressing yourself at the deepest level of your Being. Simply ask: Who AM I? and wait. Again, the typical answers will come as you skim the surface, but wait, as the infomercials remind us...there's more. Much more.
Some of what may surface comes in the form of bodily sensations. Perhaps you are feeling tense or ill or are in chronic pain. Notice whatever comes up. Choose not to judge it as positive or negative. Just let it be as it is for now. All physical conditions change over time and this too shall pass.
Notice too your thoughts and feelings. They arise in conjunction with the bodily sensations and often in reaction to them as you may find yourself labeling your experience. Again, let it be. Notice it, become aware of it, and let it pass through.
Whatever your experience may be, the surface issues will begin to settle over time, and as this happens, you will notice that you are able to release more and more of the "stuff" you have believed yourself to be. Eventually, you will at some point find yourself in the Silence of Your Heart and it is in that beautiful space that you will be able touch your Inner Core. Some call it the Soul. Some call it the Christ Within. Some call it the Presence of God. And as Wayne Dyer has said, it doesn't even matter if you call it Louise! You will connect with that part of you which is Eternal, that part of you that is the Essence of Pure Love. You will KNOW that what you once heard about being made in the image and likeness of God is True. This is when you will KNOW the Truth that will set you free - in spite of all the dogma and dysfunction that may have clouded that message in the past. You will not just hear the words, you will at last embody the Truth and Oh, what a relief that is!
Once you Know Who You Are, you are Guided in all you do. Your intentions and inspired actions will at times almost effortlessly spring forth from the Everlasting Fountain of Wisdom and Love and all that is Go(o)d. Love is now properly reclaimed as the Source rather than the goal. You will know the Joy that comes your way when you choose to live a Life of Love, so that Love is extended as a natural outcome, rather than shouldered as a burdensome obligation that weighs you down as you strive to prove that you are who you already are. And that, my dear, really is all you need to know to heal your energy reversal and come back to Life and Vibrant Living.
Stop living life backwards in pursuit of the Good that is already yours. Live from Love as the Source of All and Who You Really Are and you will be taking the most Powerful Action for the Highest Good of All Concerned - including you!
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Fool's Gold: A Goal as a Hole That You Dig
We are indeed a goal-driven society. From education, to career, to money, and all forms of success, goals are touted as the be-all and end-all on the road to achievement. Not only must goals be formulated, they must be written down succinctly and be SMART: specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timed. (There are different ways of teaching the acronym. This is the one I have taught and followed myself.) Goals must also be periodically reviewed for progress and re-evaluation. In pursuit of our goals, we must remember that there is no failure, only feedback. And on and on goes the "coach speak" with regard to getting anywhere in life. The motivational strategies are research-based and proven to be effective. So...the message is, "Keep on keepin' on..."
But wait...!!! I have followed these formulas to the letter. I have done all I can with regard to pursuit of my goals. I am motivated. I am determined. In fact, in many cases, I have achieved the goals. Sometimes my success has been greater than I expected. My ego is stoked. My ego has been stroked. I am happy. At least for now...
Then Boom, Crash, Zap, Poof...That happiness is gone! Now what?
Back it up...
Goal setting is indeed a powerful process in climbing the ladder of success, but as it has been said, you need to be aware of where you choose to place that ladder. Otherwise, you will get to the top and simply find yourself trying to maintain your excitement and your balance on the highest rung with perhaps nowhere to go but down. That's why we all need to dig deeper to uncover our highest intentions. Otherwise, what seems like climbing the ladder of success becomes tantamount to digging ourselves into a proverbial hole. The more we try, the more we spin our wheels, the more we find ourselves stuck. It is at that point that we may become deeply embedded in the false belief that life is not fair and that all of the positive things we have read, heard, and been taught must be the ramblings of the chosen few who can afford to preach such rubbish from the comfort of their ivory towers. Lest we lose heart, be assured, there IS another way.
Many of our goals are likened to fool's gold. We dig, and we dig, and we dig our heels in further until we at last have that glistening lump of gold that we thought was a gem in our worn and blistered hands. We paid the price. Here's the prize. Oops. Not so fast. The shiny object is indeed worthless and our efforts are for naught. We only wanted the real thing. Not a cheap imitation.
Here's where we can claim the true power of manifesting our heart's desire. In order to manifest your heart's desire, you must KNOW what it is! In order to know what it is, you must be open to receiving this information. In order to be open, you must soften your stance. In order to soften your stance, you need to be present. In order to be present, you must cultivate a degree of inner peace. In order to cultivate inner peace, you must be willing to align your personality with your soul. In order to align your personality with your soul, you simply have to know and trust that it is the highest part of you that always seeks to manifest the highest good of all concerned, including you. In order to know and trust your soul, you need to choose to connect with the Great Power of the Universe that is Your Source of Being. And that brings us to the "Good News." You are already connected to Your Source. Your Source is Pure Love and all that is Go(o)d. You are a Spark of the Divine. Therefore, there is only One Power, One Way, One Intention, and that Intention is to BE the Love that you are and seek to express that Love in all that you do in an ever-evolving upward spiral. Just choose Love and your goals, whatever they may be, will be backed by the Power of the Universe for your Best and Highest Good - all the time - Guaranteed!
So, behind all of the glitz and glamour of the image of climbing the ladder of success, you may find a multitude of haggard laborers digging deeper and deeper holes that lead them nowhere but into greater darkness and isolation. That is the aftermath of the goals of fear: Fear of failure, fear of lack, fear of being unworthy, fear of _________________________(fill in the blank). Even if you manage to reach the goal through the sweat of your brow, that same brow is soon furrowed as you ponder your next move. Surely, the next goal will be "it."
The lesson here is simply this: Beware of a goal that stems from fear no matter how noble it may appear. A goal motivated by fear will weaken and disappoint you every time. It is the ultimate fool's goal that leaves you exhausted and discouraged. You truly have a choice in this matter - no matter how far you have come or how far you feel you have left to go. You can now choose to have access to the fuel behind any goal you may set, whether it be a wellness goal such as weight loss, a career goal, a financial goal, etc. The form that your goals take will be as individualized as your journey itself. Ultimately, it is not the goal that matters. It is what fuels the goal that determines your destination as well as the quality of your experience along the way. And that, my friend, is all you really need to know. The power of your intention is the power behind your goal and you have the power to choose.
Start now - Tap into the Ultimate Power of the Universe.
Begin in Love.
End in Love.
And just watch how that one decision changes everything in between.
Namaste.
It makes me smile to hold this vision for us all. Go in Peace, and Love, and Joy.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
But wait...!!! I have followed these formulas to the letter. I have done all I can with regard to pursuit of my goals. I am motivated. I am determined. In fact, in many cases, I have achieved the goals. Sometimes my success has been greater than I expected. My ego is stoked. My ego has been stroked. I am happy. At least for now...
Then Boom, Crash, Zap, Poof...That happiness is gone! Now what?
Back it up...
Goal setting is indeed a powerful process in climbing the ladder of success, but as it has been said, you need to be aware of where you choose to place that ladder. Otherwise, you will get to the top and simply find yourself trying to maintain your excitement and your balance on the highest rung with perhaps nowhere to go but down. That's why we all need to dig deeper to uncover our highest intentions. Otherwise, what seems like climbing the ladder of success becomes tantamount to digging ourselves into a proverbial hole. The more we try, the more we spin our wheels, the more we find ourselves stuck. It is at that point that we may become deeply embedded in the false belief that life is not fair and that all of the positive things we have read, heard, and been taught must be the ramblings of the chosen few who can afford to preach such rubbish from the comfort of their ivory towers. Lest we lose heart, be assured, there IS another way.
Many of our goals are likened to fool's gold. We dig, and we dig, and we dig our heels in further until we at last have that glistening lump of gold that we thought was a gem in our worn and blistered hands. We paid the price. Here's the prize. Oops. Not so fast. The shiny object is indeed worthless and our efforts are for naught. We only wanted the real thing. Not a cheap imitation.
Here's where we can claim the true power of manifesting our heart's desire. In order to manifest your heart's desire, you must KNOW what it is! In order to know what it is, you must be open to receiving this information. In order to be open, you must soften your stance. In order to soften your stance, you need to be present. In order to be present, you must cultivate a degree of inner peace. In order to cultivate inner peace, you must be willing to align your personality with your soul. In order to align your personality with your soul, you simply have to know and trust that it is the highest part of you that always seeks to manifest the highest good of all concerned, including you. In order to know and trust your soul, you need to choose to connect with the Great Power of the Universe that is Your Source of Being. And that brings us to the "Good News." You are already connected to Your Source. Your Source is Pure Love and all that is Go(o)d. You are a Spark of the Divine. Therefore, there is only One Power, One Way, One Intention, and that Intention is to BE the Love that you are and seek to express that Love in all that you do in an ever-evolving upward spiral. Just choose Love and your goals, whatever they may be, will be backed by the Power of the Universe for your Best and Highest Good - all the time - Guaranteed!
So, behind all of the glitz and glamour of the image of climbing the ladder of success, you may find a multitude of haggard laborers digging deeper and deeper holes that lead them nowhere but into greater darkness and isolation. That is the aftermath of the goals of fear: Fear of failure, fear of lack, fear of being unworthy, fear of _________________________(fill in the blank). Even if you manage to reach the goal through the sweat of your brow, that same brow is soon furrowed as you ponder your next move. Surely, the next goal will be "it."
The lesson here is simply this: Beware of a goal that stems from fear no matter how noble it may appear. A goal motivated by fear will weaken and disappoint you every time. It is the ultimate fool's goal that leaves you exhausted and discouraged. You truly have a choice in this matter - no matter how far you have come or how far you feel you have left to go. You can now choose to have access to the fuel behind any goal you may set, whether it be a wellness goal such as weight loss, a career goal, a financial goal, etc. The form that your goals take will be as individualized as your journey itself. Ultimately, it is not the goal that matters. It is what fuels the goal that determines your destination as well as the quality of your experience along the way. And that, my friend, is all you really need to know. The power of your intention is the power behind your goal and you have the power to choose.
Start now - Tap into the Ultimate Power of the Universe.
Begin in Love.
End in Love.
And just watch how that one decision changes everything in between.
Namaste.
It makes me smile to hold this vision for us all. Go in Peace, and Love, and Joy.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
The Basket or The Backpack? Powerful Paradigms for Processing Pain
The issue of pain and suffering is one that has undoubtedly plagued human history perhaps more than any other since the dawn of creation. I know that it surely has been that way for me. That said, I humbly present a perspective on pain that is a useful analogy for me in the event that it may provide something helpful for you as well.
Pain is often viewed as an unexpected and unwanted guest. We are unprepared for arrival, unsure of ourselves during the visit, and wondering when it will end. Rather than willingly accepting the inevitable once this guest has entered our house, we get steeped in the thought that what is happening in our house is wrong, so we send the guests away before we get to know them. We never allow ourselves to be open to the gifts they may come bearing. Just get them out of my house. Out of sight, out of mind. Or are they?
It seems that our guests have left some things behind. Now, even though they are gone, we are left to deal with the aftermath. What in the world is all this stuff? Why do I have to deal with it? I don't have time for this! It's not fair...etc. etc. etc. So, what do I do now? Clearly, this is my responsibility now. I cannot leave it unattended. I now, seemingly by default, must carry this with me wherever I go. That way, at least I stand a chance of sorting through it all and letting it go.
Here's where it gets interesting...
What happens if you put all of this "stuff", this pain, in a backpack?
You have quite literally taken it upon your shoulders to lug around, but at least you are attempting to deal with it by putting it behind you. You carry the weight of it rather easily at first. This makes you feel strong and proud. But, you notice that after time, it begins to weigh you down. The extra weight makes it difficult for you to get around and to do what needs to get done. Perhaps if you were stronger it would help, so you make attempts at building your muscles. This does help, but you realize that in the process, you allowed yourself to take on even more weight. Again, you can handle it. Again, you just need to continue to get stronger and stronger and to be able to bear more and more weight as time goes on. In addition, you begin to realize that perhaps your greatest challenge is maintaining your balance with this ever-increasing load. But that's ok. What choice do you have but to learn how to balance it all and still function? Some day, when you're not so busy, you will sort through it all, but not today. Today you just need to keep moving.
What would happen if you chose instead to put all of the same stuff, AKA "pain," in a basket?
Here you are with all this unwanted stuff to lug around. Oh well, how about finding a beautiful basket to put it all in? At first, you carry the basket with you wherever you go. You just don't know what to do with it all, but it is right there in front of you. Each time you pick it up by the handles, you can see at least some of what is in there. This allows you to literally "handle" its contents. Although the contents are indeed heavy, you realize that you can set it down. You also learn very quickly that if you do not choose to set it down, your shoulders round, your head is drawn forward, and your heart is closed but not really protected by the contents of the basket before you. Although you are busy, when you have the time, you choose to spend it looking through the basket to determine what to do with the contents. Some of what is in there you simply inherited from someone else and it has no value to you at this time. You remove it from the basket. Clearly this is not something that you would choose to continue to carry. Some of it, you realize, is not useful to anyone, and you choose to get rid of it. The basket continues to get lighter each time you set it down and sort through the contents. When you finally reach the bottom of the basket, or perhaps well before you get there, you find the unexpected treasure - the "gift in the garbage" as it has been called. You feel blessed that you had the opportunity to carry this basket on your journey, in spite of the temporary discomfort it may have caused you. You are grateful for what you have been given. You leave the rest of it behind.
In this lifetime, we all face a certain degree of pain. It is part of our earthly existence. Rather than carrying it like a backpack that weighs you down for the rest of journey, place it in a beautiful basket that you can sort through with full awareness and at your own pace. You too will be blessed with gems of compassion or wisdom or whatever your soul needs to find. You too will be able to lighten your load, live with grace, and move forward into the life that is your potential to lead. Don't get bogged down by pain. Carry, sort, and discover the treasure. Repeat as often as necessary. Joy awaits.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
Pain is often viewed as an unexpected and unwanted guest. We are unprepared for arrival, unsure of ourselves during the visit, and wondering when it will end. Rather than willingly accepting the inevitable once this guest has entered our house, we get steeped in the thought that what is happening in our house is wrong, so we send the guests away before we get to know them. We never allow ourselves to be open to the gifts they may come bearing. Just get them out of my house. Out of sight, out of mind. Or are they?
It seems that our guests have left some things behind. Now, even though they are gone, we are left to deal with the aftermath. What in the world is all this stuff? Why do I have to deal with it? I don't have time for this! It's not fair...etc. etc. etc. So, what do I do now? Clearly, this is my responsibility now. I cannot leave it unattended. I now, seemingly by default, must carry this with me wherever I go. That way, at least I stand a chance of sorting through it all and letting it go.
Here's where it gets interesting...
What happens if you put all of this "stuff", this pain, in a backpack?
You have quite literally taken it upon your shoulders to lug around, but at least you are attempting to deal with it by putting it behind you. You carry the weight of it rather easily at first. This makes you feel strong and proud. But, you notice that after time, it begins to weigh you down. The extra weight makes it difficult for you to get around and to do what needs to get done. Perhaps if you were stronger it would help, so you make attempts at building your muscles. This does help, but you realize that in the process, you allowed yourself to take on even more weight. Again, you can handle it. Again, you just need to continue to get stronger and stronger and to be able to bear more and more weight as time goes on. In addition, you begin to realize that perhaps your greatest challenge is maintaining your balance with this ever-increasing load. But that's ok. What choice do you have but to learn how to balance it all and still function? Some day, when you're not so busy, you will sort through it all, but not today. Today you just need to keep moving.
What would happen if you chose instead to put all of the same stuff, AKA "pain," in a basket?
Here you are with all this unwanted stuff to lug around. Oh well, how about finding a beautiful basket to put it all in? At first, you carry the basket with you wherever you go. You just don't know what to do with it all, but it is right there in front of you. Each time you pick it up by the handles, you can see at least some of what is in there. This allows you to literally "handle" its contents. Although the contents are indeed heavy, you realize that you can set it down. You also learn very quickly that if you do not choose to set it down, your shoulders round, your head is drawn forward, and your heart is closed but not really protected by the contents of the basket before you. Although you are busy, when you have the time, you choose to spend it looking through the basket to determine what to do with the contents. Some of what is in there you simply inherited from someone else and it has no value to you at this time. You remove it from the basket. Clearly this is not something that you would choose to continue to carry. Some of it, you realize, is not useful to anyone, and you choose to get rid of it. The basket continues to get lighter each time you set it down and sort through the contents. When you finally reach the bottom of the basket, or perhaps well before you get there, you find the unexpected treasure - the "gift in the garbage" as it has been called. You feel blessed that you had the opportunity to carry this basket on your journey, in spite of the temporary discomfort it may have caused you. You are grateful for what you have been given. You leave the rest of it behind.
In this lifetime, we all face a certain degree of pain. It is part of our earthly existence. Rather than carrying it like a backpack that weighs you down for the rest of journey, place it in a beautiful basket that you can sort through with full awareness and at your own pace. You too will be blessed with gems of compassion or wisdom or whatever your soul needs to find. You too will be able to lighten your load, live with grace, and move forward into the life that is your potential to lead. Don't get bogged down by pain. Carry, sort, and discover the treasure. Repeat as often as necessary. Joy awaits.
As always, I trust that these words will find their way to the right people, at the perfect time, and have the intended impact on the lives and hearts of my readers for the best and Highest Good.
With Blessings, Love and Light,
Nurture U
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)