If there's one thing I have learned in over six decades on this planet, it's the importance of breaking out of our conditioning to live a life of choice. As stated on both my website and my business cards, we need to "STOP living by default and START living by design!" What could be more worthy of our time and attention than that?? Yet, if you are like most of us, you may at times find yourself just plodding along on autopilot without much consideration of where you are headed or if you're finding any enjoyment along the way. No wonder so many people feel like they are just surviving rather than empowered and thriving. So what are we to do? Prioritize Positivity. Let's start with that.
If you've even dabbled in the self help and personal development world, you have likely heard that both Neuroscience and Positive Psychology have helped to flesh out well researched evidence that it pays to be positive. I for one am thankful for that! It intuitively makes sense that positivity would have benefits, but all of the oversimplified positive thinking has earned the label of being not just ineffective, but rather deemed to be "toxic." Ouch. That right there makes you want to keep your positive thoughts to yourself, huh?
Why has this come about? Because as with anything, when the pendulum swings, it swings to the other extreme and the truth gets obscured in the process so it's time to set the record straight. It's a great big topic covered in scholarly articles, best sellers, and even heavy textbooks. Yes, I find that a bit daunting, but here goes my take on it.
The bottom line is that as we go through life, especially in our earliest years, we quite literally download information based on what we see, hear, feel, and are directly taught to believe. Some of what we have learned is priceless. Some? Not so much. In fact, we all have been exposed to experiences and beliefs that are downright dysfunctional, disempowering, and even destructive to our body, mind, and spirit. Some of this was the result of abuse or neglect, but others came about as a result of well meaning parents, teachers, religious leaders, etc. who were doing what they thought was best based on their knowledge and circumstances. Either way, we end up with a lot of (pardon my language) crap that we picked up along the way and it runs like a computer program in the background of our lives - UNLESS we counteract it through consciously creating what we want more of in our lives.
One of the ways we get tripped up is by what is known as "the negativity bias" of the brain. Yep, the brain gives preferential treatment to anything that is negative and lets the positive just slip on by. Why? Because failure to notice the negative can result in tragedy. Failure to notice the positive does not. So, since it is the brain's job to help us to survive, the focus goes to the negative. In the past this was much more warranted as much of the negative was an actual threat like a wild animal waiting in the bushes to pounce whereas today, what triggers the same response might be the morning commute, a barrage of emails, a looming deadline, and things of that sort. Yes, there are still major threats, but most of what we face is not actually dangerous.
Therefore, as Dr. Rick Hanson says, we need to intentionally "take in the good." He has given many talks on the subject and I highly recommend checking out his work. The Positive Psychology literature is also packed with information about this topic as well. In her Positivity 101 course, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson calls it "Prioritizing Positivity" and I absolutely LOVE THAT! Every day, we have to wake up with the intention to prioritize positivity - not deny the negative or hide it under a façade of sunshine and rainbows, but rather, let's choose to invite more of the positive into our lives, hearts, minds, and our bodies. This is not a happy go lucky woo woo Pollyanna suggestion to opt for rose colored glasses. Instead, this is a hard core evidence based scientific way to start to rewire your brain to be more positive. It might seem too simple to ever make a difference, but IT DOES!
I call it Casting a NET to wire in the positive.
There are just 3 steps:
N - Notice something positive.
E - Enhance your experience of it by taking it in with all of your senses long enough to enjoy it.
T - Take it in. Feel yourself breathe in the experience and imagine it sinking into you at a cellular level.
That's it. A simple investment that pays big dividends. The only thing that could prevent you from making this shift is if you choose not to give it a try. What do you have to lose? (Absolutely nothing!) More importantly, what do you stand to gain?! (A much more positive brain!)
Personally, I'm excited to share this with you and look forward to hearing some amazing results.
Commit to doing this at least once a day for 21 days.
No, it's not magic, but I bet if you do it, it will feel like it is.
Now, go out there and Cast that NET! Enjoy :)
Be sure and let me know how it goes.
Thanks!