Keep Calm and Be Fabulous!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Honestly, this mug says it all: Keep Calm and Be Fabulous! This is indeed the theme I have chosen for the entire year. 2021 is definitely the time to Nurture U and perhaps we need that now more than ever. Although I sound like a broken record, the main message of Nurture U Life Coaching bears repeating: "Healthy self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity!" You simply can't Be Happy, Be Healthy, and Live a Life that Matters without making self-care a priority. You just can't. This holds true for everyone and is even more pertinent to those of us who have been identified as a Highly Sensitive Person, also known by the acronym HSP. We need to be even more vigilant, especially regarding the need for downtime and alone time.

The reason why I love the theme of Keep Calm and Be Fabulous is that for me, it sums up what I most want out of life at this point AND states it in the right order. We've all heard of "the calm before the storm" right? Well, I'm here to tell you we need to cultivate the calm before we can feel fabulous!

What do I mean by "Be Fabulous?"  Well, I am certainly not referring to the need to look like a super model, say and do all the right things, or even the need to be anything in particular except for BEING YOU! This is something that I have learned through struggle and pain, stress and strain, over many years and with lots of tears. Most of us spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME trying to figure out who and what we should be instead of being who we already are! 

So, WHO ARE YOU?  

Whoever you are, I know you are a beautiful soul who was sent to this world to experience life to the fullest. You have been gifted with strengths and talents that are a unique combination never having been seen or experienced before and never to be repeated. It is up to each and every one of us to own our wonder and our magic and to share it with the world. We each have a beautiful light to shine on all those around us in a way that only we can. We all have some desire planted within our hearts to make the world a better place and we can do so every day just by our presence. The thoughts we think send out a certain vibrational energy as do the words we speak and the actions we choose. Think about it - you are quite literally broadcasting your signal on a moment to moment basis in a way that affects not only you, but all those around you as well. We really are all connected. We really are all one as all the perennial wisdom traditions have always taught. And may I share with you what I think is the most exciting thing of all? We are living in an age when science is now able to corroborate and even explain these phenomena. (And yes, I think that is what I'd aptly deem phenomenal!) We can now understand what the mystics have always known and begin to demonstrate this power in our own lives today. THAT'S what I mean by "Be Fabulous!"

Now that brings us back to the starting point which is to "Be Calm." Let's make 2021 the year that we step out of crazy busy and fretting over that which we can't control. Let's resolve to take the time for peace and quiet to build our resilience and function at our best in what can seem to be a chaotic world. Let's steep ourselves in time honored virtues such as faith, hope, and love. Let's take good care of ourselves and practice a great deal of self-compassion. 

From that calm energy, let's strengthen our connections. Let's extend that compassion out into the world to other people in our immediate circle, to our extended families, our communities, country, and while we are at it, let's stretch the boundaries of compassion to the entire globe. Let's care for the earth itself, the air, the water, the animals, etc. It's all a part of the oneness we are only starting to understand at deeper and deeper levels. We can do this. It doesn't have to be our job, our career, or even our passion. It just has to be a conscious choice of how we journey through life from the simplest things such as smiling at a passerby to the bigger things such as promoting a campaign to slow global warming. We are all called to play a role because we are all in this together. While our circumstances may determine the scale at which we act, we are all called to do something and to do something consistently. 

May all that we do this year come from that center of calm and tap into the connection to something far greater than ourselves. 

My wish for you is, as always, to Be Happy, Be Healthy, and Live a Life that Matters.

Yes, WE CAN! 

Keep Calm and Be Fabulous!

Need a little help to get back on track or to stay there?

Visit Nurture U Life Coaching to get your complimentary Holistic Wellness Self-Assessment Tool today! 

With much love,

Mary Ellen

Downtime to Prevent Down Time

I enjoy adding photos to my blog posts. So, as I sat down to write this post, I literally laughed out loud when I found this picture of my cat Bella. She is truly my Furry Guru when it comes to relaxation! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), relaxation never came easy to me. In fact, I had to actually LEARN HOW TO RELAX! To someone without this issue, that may seem downright ridiculous, but if you're anything like me, you know it to be true. (Just as an aside, the trait of High Sensitivity is found in at least 100 animal species and Bella is definitely my little HSP.)

In order for an HSP to truly relax in a restorative manner, we absolutely need downtime. As Julie Bjelland, Sensitivity Expert/Psychotherapist has stated, having alone time is a "medical necessity." Why? Because as HSPs, we simply take in way more stimuli than the 80-85% of the population that does not have this trait. Plus, once we take it in, we have an inborn preference to process everything much more deeply. Add to that our propensity to be more emotionally responsive and empathetic and you can see why we have a tendency to get overstimulated, overloaded, and if that continues we can get quite overwhelmed. BUT, this tendency can be mitigated through healthy self-care and increased awareness so that whenever possible, we can prevent this downward spiral from happening.

YES, WE CAN! That's where downtime is so important to our well-being. Again, this is true for everyone, but especially for HSPs. However, as heart-centered people who care deeply about others, take responsibilities seriously, want to do a good job, etc. we can run ourselves ragged if we don't ensure that we make the time for downtime! Trust me, you will never "find" the time, you have to MAKE THE TIME. Ideally, many experts recommend at least 2 hours each day. This might seem impossible in this busy, chaotic life we all seem to be leading, but here's the thing: Downtime may not be what you think it is. Read on my friends and you will find the golden key to unlock the door to more inner peace.

The definition of the downtime we most need as HSPs is "time spent not taking in any new data that needs to be processed." It is SO IMPORTANT that you get this point! I can't stress this fact enough. This is so different than what the majority of us have always thought of as downtime which essentially can cause us to chase peace rather than basking in the glow of it.

Let me explain further. Before I understood this way of looking at downtime, I was unable to feel relaxed, refreshed, and rejuvenated even if I wasn't "working." In fact, sometimes I actually ended up feeling worse after a "day off." How can that be? I inadvertently filled my days with way too much of what I can enjoy in moderation and it kept me too preoccupied with such things as reading nonfiction, scrolling social media, talking on the phone to friends and loved ones, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and what I consider to be the biggest factor in the mix - THINKING WAY TOO MUCH. Yep, thinking, pondering, wondering, planning, etc. My days off were often exhausting, even if I was alone! 

As a result, I continued to live in a state of chronic stress and busyness even if it appeared I wasn't doing much at all. You see, we can be overstimulated by both internal and external factors and the combination has a cumulative effect on body, mind, and spirit. That's what I am referring to as the need for downtime to prevent down time. If you continue to ignore your needs, they don't go away. The messages get louder and louder and often are accompanied by physical symptoms ranging from headaches and muscle tension to more serious health conditions. UGH! So now what???

Embrace what downtime is and what it isn't and commit to incorporate it into your day every day! Here's the beauty of it too. There are many things that you may enjoy that don't necessarily add to the sensory processing load that you are already carrying. Downtime does not mean you need to escape to some mountain retreat to finally relax. It doesn't mean you need to spend 2 hours in silent meditation until your mind achieves "tabula rasa" AKA a blank slate. No, you just need to spend time doing things that do not add more sensory information for you to have to process.

Here are some of the things that I now do during my downtime:

Lay quietly with my cat on the couch

Listen to soothing instrumental music

Walk alone in nature

Spend time alone near water

Sit in the sun or shade (depending on the weather)

Observe the wonders of nature - birds, squirrels, butterflies, sunrises, sunsets

Tap into my connection with my Higher Power

Do gentle yoga

Close my eyes

Take a bath or a shower

Focus on the feeling of my breath coming in and out of my body

(Sometimes even routine tasks such as cleaning, cooking, or baking can get me out of my head)

Everyone is different. Find what is most soothing to you. Just remember, the most important thing of all is that you DO IT! Make the commitment today to Nurture U!  Everything you do to enhance your well-being positively affects not only you, but all those around you as well. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to be the happiest, healthiest version of yourself that you can be.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do to support you in this beautiful endeavor.

 

 

The Highly Sensitive Person Label: Limitation or Liberation?

 

As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, this question is indeed near and dear to my heart! Once you "find out" you are an HSP, that is the main issue that you need to address to move from acknowledging the trait to accepting the trait. It is only then that you can learn to effectively accommodate and accentuate your inherent nature. Essentially, the HSP label is either an asset or a liability depending on how you choose to view it.

Therein lies the answer to whether the HSP label is a limitation or liberation: 

It really IS your choice!

Your decision is the difference that will make the difference. If you allow yourself to fall into a victim mentality because this is a trait you were born with and it's not going to go away, you will tend toward avoidance in life and spend a great deal of your energy working to control people, circumstances and events so as to not upset the proverbial apple cart. This is an exhausting way to live. Unfortunately, I know that from past experience. It is in fact, quite limiting!

On the other hand, the HSP label can be the best thing that has ever happened to you! Suddenly you realize why you have felt "different" all of your life, why you have been conditioned to react the way you do, and it is a terrific relief to finally know that 20% of the population can relate to your experience. You embrace this new knowledge and learn the most effective strategies for healing the past, enjoying the present, and co-creating the future. You now know that there are certain things you need to do to balance your nervous system for optimal functioning. You understand that there are ways that you will choose to practice healthy self-care that may differ from the 80% of the population that are non-HSPs and you set the healthy boundaries that allow you the time and space to do so. In other words, Hallelujah! This is what liberation looks like!

So, how can you make the empowering choice to be liberated by the HSP label? You absolutely need to heal the past in order to bring your best self into the present. This involves reframing your experiences prior to realizing you are an HSP in light of this new knowledge. This will allow you to release the negative energy and beliefs of the past and to reclaim the positive energy and beliefs in the present. It really is a beautiful thing to behold - even though there is work to be done to get there.

That's where you may benefit from seeking support. Read books about the HSP trait by reputable authors like Dr. Elaine Aron. Watch videos, read blog posts, join Facebook groups. Do what you can to realize what you feel is real. You are not alone. And most importantly - YOU ARE AWESOME!

Please contact me if I can support your journey to acknowledge, accept, accommodate, and accentuate your trait as a Highly Sensitive Person. Visit the Nurture U website for more information about Holistic Wellness Life Coaching and tapping into the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis are especially effective tools for learning how to lovingly direct your mind and therefore your life. If you have any questions, you are welcome to request a complimentary phone consultation as well.

As for me? I am so happy I chose liberation over limitation. 

I know you can too.

It's time to learn to thrive not just survive!

Healthy self-care is NOT a luxury; it's a necessity.

Back to Basics: Adulting 101

In her groundbreaking book The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron refers to the work of Mary Rothbart of the University of Oregon on human development and temperament. As adults, we are capable of using the power of reason to make choices, consciously direct our attention, and exert our willpower to follow through on our decisions and commitments. As the title so clearly states, this is absolutely nothing new at this point. It is a statement of basic common knowledge about how to successfully navigate adulthood. So what's the problem? We all at some point get hijacked and start to doubt these truths that while proven by research, are really quite self-evident.

Why the doubt?

How many times have you set out to achieve some goal or complete a long overdue project with great enthusiasm only to find yourself ready to throw in the towel when you come up against the first obstacle or two? I'm guessing you can relate. I know I can! At those times, it seems that reason, choice, and willpower have left the station and there you are metaphorically standing on the platform wondering what just happened and perhaps even feeling abandoned. Of course, in this case, you haven't really been abandoned by anyone or anything but honestly, self-abandonment can feel even worse. 

Each time throughout our lives that we encounter difficulties, the way we handle them is largely based on our conditioning and past experiences. The deepest level of our conditioning took place BEFORE we reached the age of reason. We were conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, our family, other people, and the world and life in general. At this young age, we were literally like little sponges soaking up everything we saw, heard, felt, and experienced. Because we did not have the skills to evaluate and filter these experiences, we simply absorbed them as is. In other words, our conditioning reflects the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of those around us, NOT our preferences and choices. And that is the start of the inner conflict. As this sets the stage, our experiences begin to both reflect and reinforce our early conditioning.

When what we are experiencing in life is not reflective of what we SAY we want, it is often due to our programming. Let's be honest, that is not always the case. As we know, we are not in control of other people, circumstances, and events that surround and befall us. So, let's not get caught up in magical thinking or quibbling over every cosmic quandary, but rather let's focus on what we CAN DO which is to deal with those persistent inherited beliefs about what we can and cannot do, the shoulds, oughts, and musts, and all the rest that keep us feeling stuck. We can loosen the grip of the past and begin to feel more freedom in the present by identifying that negative prior programming and choosing anew that which will truly reflect who we are and what we want to do with this one wild and precious life as Mary Oliver poetically refers to it.

That's why I have always been a "different kind of coach with a decidedly different approach!" After first getting my coaching credentials, I realized that I needed another way to help my clients get unstuck from ingrained habits and beliefs in order to be happy, healthy, and live a life that matters. That's why I went on to be trained in hypnotherapy and to study meditation through my yoga teacher training. That provided me with the ability to expertly guide my clients through relaxation and meditation to tap into the power of the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change to access inner wisdom, heal and release the past, and commit to inspired action in the present. It is truly an amazingly effective process that I feel humbled and privileged to be a part of.

So, in order to get back to the basics of adulting and exercise the power of reason, choice, and will, we need to do some work to clear out the old in order to welcome the new. Growth and healing our energy is indeed possible. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to support you on your continued journey of wholeness.

Be well. Be blessed. And do what needs to be done.

Stay in Your "Circle of Influence"

The term "Circle of Influence" comes from Stephen Covey's classic book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Although it has been many years since I first read it, I distinctly remember the impact it had on me as it and continues to have on me as well. Reading the book precipitated a number of a-ha moments and still does. It is one of those classic books that you can read multiple times and the content sinks in at a deeper level as your own consciousness has expanded along the way. It is a true gem in my personal library.

Covey distinguishes between the Circle of Influence and your Circle of Concern. He has a graphic showing the circle of our concerns as the outer circle and the circle of our influence as the inner circle. One of the fascinating aspects of his work around this concept is that the inner circle actually grows or shrinks in response to how we live our lives, thus being what we CAN exert a degree of influence over. This circle includes such things as choices we make, the words we say, our actions, and even the thoughts we give our time, attention, and credence to. This is indeed the circle that encompasses the key foundational skills that are the basis for all the work I do through Nurture U Life Coaching:

1) Calm Your Life

2) Care for Your Body

3) Grow Your Joy!

All three of those areas are contained within the Circle of Influence and that, my friends, is exactly where we should be spending our life's energy - our greatest resource - to make the greatest impact on ourselves, and the people, circumstances, and events of our lives. In other words, that is how we can enhance our happiness and health and be up for the task of making a meaningful contribution during our time on this planet. I simply cannot stress this fact enough. It is vital to the well-being of society and contributes to the highest good of all concerned including YOU!

Contrast that hope-inspiring picture with spending the bulk of your life hanging out in the Circle of Concern. This outer circle represents all of the things that we are, well...concerned about! These are the really big things that people have dealt with throughout the ages and currently in our society, we have been facing some monumental challenges indeed: the global pandemic, systemic racism, climate change, and violent crime - just to name a few. Those are indeed things that concern us, and should concern us, BUT due to their magnitude, there's only so much we can do. These concerns can lead us to anxiety, depression, a sense of being hopeless victims, and even trigger an almost obsessive rumination on all that is wrong with society and often to the exclusion of the bigger picture that includes all that IS working in our lives and the lives of others.The Circle of Concern also includes a myriad of "little things" we have no control over yet can consume our daily lives such as the weather, clothes left scattered on the floor, the cap not replaced on the tube of toothpaste, people being late, the way people drive, being ignored by a coworker, and obviously this list could go on and on and on, but you get the idea.

So, what are we to do?

Focus the majority of your resources - your time, attention, money, and all else that involves the expenditure of your energy on your Circle of Influence. When you find yourself feeling frustrated, sad, angry, overwhelmed or any such emotions regarding those worries and issues in your Circle of Concern, ask yourself, "What CAN I do about this?" If there is a concrete action you can take?

Is there something you need to say about this issue?  If so, does it need to be expressed to a particular person or group or is it something you just need to share with a trusted friend or even in the privacy of your own journal? Is there a shift in your thinking that would help? Can you offer a prayer and/or send compassionate, loving energy to the person or situation? You get the point. The idea here is to stay out of or shift out of being stuck in reacting to what is happening around you and to choose to be more responsive. That is our power.

So next time you find yourself getting reactive, pause for a moment, take a deep breath and start moving in the direction of being more responsive. This allows you to get into the habit of creating space between a stimulus and your response. As it has been said so many times by so many others (yet it bears repeating)  that is what it means to be responsible - to be responseABLE - able to respond rather than to simply react.

This is an area that will inevitably give us on-going opportunities for growth. It is not something we learn once and then we've got it! No, this is one of those "journey of a lifetime" processes that require us to continue our commitment to becoming more mindful and transforming ourselves and our lives for the betterment of all. 

May you be blessed on this journey. I'm here to support you. 

In the words of Ram Dass, "We're all just walking each other home."

Namaste"

For HSPs: Change Your State; NOT Your Trait!

Well, here it is...

In my humble opinion, this is the absolute number one most important thing that a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) must learn in order to Be Happy, Be Healthy, and Live a Life that Matters. That truly is what we all want, isn't it? That's why it is the tagline for Nurture U Life Coaching. It is also the impetus for all I am doing for myself as an HSP and coaching my clients to do as well.
Here it is folks...
CHANGE YOUR STATE; NOT YOUR TRAIT.

Wow, it feels so good to be putting this message out there for you and for all who know, love, work with, and/or parent anyone who is a Highly Sensitive Person. We HSPs are an awesome group that often gets a bad rap. Why? Simply put, because we are in the minority. That's right, HSPs make up only 15-20% of the population. Needless to say, since 80% of the population is made up of non-HSPs, you better believe that society is not set up for us to thrive. But that's ok. That's our responsibility to see that we do. And never fear, we CAN go from feeling like we are just (or sometimes barely) surviving to empowered and thriving by changing our state; not our trait.

So, what exactly is a trait? A trait is an inherited quality that we are born with. It is not something that develops as a result of trauma, poor parenting, lack of discipline, or even by choice. In the case of high sensitivity, it is not a disorder and certainly not something that we need to get over or get rid of (in spite of what you yourself may have thought and likely what you've also been told). You can't submit high sensitivity to any kind of treatment to eradicate it. It is what it is. The idea is to acknowledge, accept, accommodate, and accentuate the trait by learning the tips, tools, and techniques for our sensitive nervous systems to function at our optimal level. That's where changing your state comes in.

What is meant by "change your state?" To paraphrase Merriam - Webster online, the definition of "state" is a mode or condition of mind and/or being. As this clearly implies, a state is merely a temporary quality of existence. Your state can be managed and changed for the better. That is where the power of choice comes in. That is what it means to learn to be more responsive and less reactive. In other words, here's the opportunity for continued growth and development if we make the decision to view our challenges in this matter. Otherwise, we fall prey to the victim mentality and that leaves us helpless, hopeless, and stuck. I don't know about you, but I will take on the work of change rather than wallow in the mire every time!

It's easy to see how if highly sensitive people do not know how to balance their nervous systems for optimal functioning that they get stuck. It's also easy to see how if someone doesn't accept that he or she is an HSP that the person will not practice the tools to stay grounded and centered as the priority they need to be even if that person knows helpful techniques. But get a load of this: Denial of the trait can actually trigger people to go in the polar opposite direction and swing into an even higher, more destructive driven mode and leave the strategies of healthy self-care in the dust. Now why would someone ever do that? Why would someone get stuck, stay stuck, and go even deeper into the muck?

As is so often the case in life, the answer is simple but certainly not easy: low self-esteem. How does that apply to being a Highly Sensitive Person? Unfortunately, low self-esteem can run rampant in the lives of HSPs and dare I say that I'd venture to guess that the higher you score on the HSP scale, the more that might be an issue. But why?

Why are HSPs prone to low self-esteem?
In the words of Dr. Elaine Aron on page 147 of the 25th Anniversary Edition of her groundbreaking book The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, "HSPs are prone to low self-esteem because they are not their culture's ideal." Ouch...truth hurts, but it doesn't have to. As I said before, an HSP needs to acknowledge, accept, accommodate, and accentuate the trait of high sensitivity. How? Back to the beginning...

Change your state; NOT your trait.
Learn what it takes to balance your unique nervous system to be more calm, confident, and connected. Practice healthy self-care. Make rest, relaxation, and the right amount to sleep for you a top priority. Eat a healthy diet that includes plenty of colorful, fresh fruits and vegetables. Get consistent daily moderate exercise that is the right amount and type for your body. Figure out what brings a smile to your face and find a way to bring more of that into your days. By learning to do these things, and perhaps more importantly giving yourself the permission to do so, you will in effect be changing your state to enhance your trait. Given the right conditions (AKA state of mind, body, and spirit) your sensitivity can be transformed from what you (and most likely others) mistakenly considered a liability into the asset that it actually is. After awhile, you, like me, might come to know and embrace that your sensitivity is actually your Superpower!

That is the vision I continue to hold for myself and for all HSPs. I've said it before and I'll say it again that it is my passion, purpose, and privilege to help Highly Sensitive Women to learn to do this and more. If I can be of help or support to you on your journey of wholeness, please contact me. In fact, we can schedule a complimentary phone consultation to begin to experience and explore how Nurture U Life Coaching could benefit you. In the meantime, hang in there and just decide right here right now to be willing to accept that your sensitivity is a gift. Trust me. I know from experience. That decision alone is already a step in a new direction.

The Struggle is Real!

True confessions...
I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Yesterday seemed especially difficult to navigate, yet I wasn't quite sure why. I just knew that I was feeling more tired than usual and definitely less motivated, yet not because of a lack of sleep or not practicing healthy self-care. This was different. This was more of a soul tired. Perhaps you can relate?

I think that this funk has been coming and going and in a sense even building over the last four months. It has been mostly subtle and at times even stealthy, and that's a big part of why it often goes unnoticed. Well, that and the fact that I truly have so many blessings to be eternally grateful for: my family, my friends, my business, my home, my health, my resources, and the list goes on. So, when I would feel myself sliding down the slippery slope of distress, I would immediately switch to gratitude for all the wonderful people and circumstances of my life. Sounds like a great strategy to refocus attention, doesn't it?

But hold on a minute. Was I practicing authentic heartfelt gratitude OR was I trying to ignore the not-so-great things that were happening?  Hmmmmmm...I'll let you decide.

Some things I acknowledged. For example, last week, I sent out not one, but four sympathy cards! Add to that the fact that my sweet sister-in-law is nearing the end of her struggle with brain cancer. It's only a matter of waiting now. There's nothing more to do. That's enough to explain the funk, but even that wasn't all of it. I woke up this morning in that funk again, but this time it was more at the surface just waiting for release. So, release it I did.

I got up before my husband and he joined me for our morning coffee. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. He asked what was going on and I knew I had to let it out. It started out as talking about my frustration with things not getting done around the house. From there it progressed to feeling frustrated with other issues until I hit on the "big ones" - the pandemic, the political climate, the racial tensions, the violence - all the really major things that are happening around us that we truly have no control over. And that's when the tears started to flow. It wasn't just frustration over it all, it was truly a deep grief - grief as a feeling of loss for the way life was just four months ago. I am not saying things were perfect or that changes are not needed, I'm just saying that for better and for worse, things will seemingly never be the same. I don't know what the future holds. No one does. No one EVER knows, but somehow when things are going smoothly, there's that part of us that believes we are somehow the exception and that we are somehow in control. But, we're not.

So, now what?
Well, after getting down to feeling, expressing, and through tears - releasing the core emotion of grief, I am ready to move on from here. The problems are still there, but instead of feeling the intense weight of them bearing down on my mind, body, and spirit, I have created a new,  healthier relationship with those problems. I am reminded and possess a more embodied knowing that life is in fact a largely unpredictable mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly, but now that's ok again. And I know I'm ok. And I know that all that muck can co-exist with gratitude rather than be opposed to it. And today is another day and another chance to make a difference in the world. It may just be in my small corner of reality, but that's ok too. That's life.

I CAN CONTROL my words and my actions. I can make choices that add to the Peace, Love, and Joy in this world. Yes, I can do this, but NOT if my energy is all tied up at any level of denial or getting stuck in any version of the oh so familiar refrain of "This shouldn't be happening" because the truth of the matter is that it is.

I will close by sharing an analogy that came to me years ago about having a meltdown. Candle wax has to be in it's liquefied form in order to be shaped and molded into a beautiful candle that has the capability of bringing a soft light into the darkness. So, next time you have a meltdown, as I did just this morning, don't think of it as a negative thing. Re-frame it as an opportunity to mold yourself anew so that you too can bring yourself, your talents, energy, and resources more fully into this world and to shine even more brightly than you did before.

In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt. it really is better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness. Amen to that!